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Asking
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. –Harry Hoover Submissives want things just like the rest of the world. But telling a Dominant to do something or provide something (beyond what has already been specifically established) is, in my opinion, a no-no. Communicating your wants is important, but there is a big different between asking and telling. For example, last night, during our Wednesday marriage talk, I asked Him if He had anything He wanted to talk about (we usually deal with concerns or upsets first). He said no. I didn’t have any, either. Then we reviewed our “homework” from our sex therapist, but determined to put that…
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What are your sexual fears?
I’m sort of like a feral cat when it comes to new sexual experiences. I have to be lured, convinced, prodded, bribed. But then, I’m sort of hard-wired to be suspicious of change and newness in all regards. I’m a fan of comfort, planning, and knowing what to expect (which is why we both get so bored in the bedroom and why our sex life has become so dull). That’s not to say that I don’t love a surprise from time to time. Presents are lovely. But a surprise party? Nope. That would do this introvert in. Surprising me with a multi-partner sexual experience? Terror. Putting me in any new…
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Vulnerable
I’m not good at being vulnerable, and I think that may have a lot to do with why I have a blog like this. Confessional writing gives me the opportunity to be vulnerable…safely. You can’t see me. Most of you don’t even know me, though you may feel you do (and rightfully so, in many regards, because if you read my words here, you probably know the deepest me better than my own family). But this difficulty with vulnerability is exactly the thing that complicates my marriage. It’s something I need to work on. One of the places it causes trouble is with my difficulty in reaching out to my…
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Vulnerability
I don’t do vulnerability. Which basically means…I don’t do relationships…or at least not deep ones. Writing that out in words and then repeating it back to myself out loud is depressing. Facing that kind of truth is hard. But, it’s necessary for change. So this is the part where I give you my excuses (knowing that, while the are an important part of my upbringing, they are not good enough currency for avoidance of facing my issues). I was raised in an old-school military family. We did (and still do) loyalty, honesty, dogged determination, commitment, patriotism. We didn’t do tears, weakness, or fear. As a result, after countless years of being told to “buck…
