• Blogging & Writing,  Erotic Journal Challenge

    The Erotic Journal Challenge 2022

    As I have noted in several posts the past week or so, CONSISTENCY is one of my focuses for this year. I have a tendency, like many others (raise your hand if you’re in the I-make-big-plans-and-then-fizzle-out-on-keeping-then club), to commit to too many things or create projects that I simply can’t complete or stop caring about over time. I tried to keep that in mind with my blog plans this year. I’ve committed to 3 things: a photography challenge, flash fiction, and an erotic journal. Now, the journal is basically just the personal narrative core of this website, so I’m really just re-commiting to doing a better job of posting regularly.…

  • Blogging & Writing,  Erotic Journal Challenge

    Erotic Journal Challenge (after the epiphany & some help from friends)

    So….after a long night of thinking, some sleep, and kind advice from friends, I have figured out what has gone wrong with the EJC. I let it slip away from what it was intended to be. It’s supposed to be EROTIC. Or at least related to sex and sexuality and intimacy. And it’s a Journal. So, reflection is the name of the game. Plus…it’s a CHALLENGE – which means the topics and questions should push us to think and grow – which sometimes means discomfort and a little squirming as we write. I think I lost my way trying to make this thing more applicable to a wider audience, and…

  • My EJC Responses

    Drowning My Way Back to the Surface

    You know how when things get bad, they sometimes need to hit rock bottom before you can make any progress? I know not everyone deals with things that way, but for me, that’s often the way it goes. It’s like I’m sinking, and kicking, and just making things worse as I drown myself, and then suddenly I stop fighting and begin floating back to the surface. Mr. D and I have a rather tumultuous marriage at times…to the point that I’m sure some would tell us it would be healthier to go our separate ways. I’ve said that here before, and I’ve also explained that this simply isn’t the way…

  • My EJC Responses

    I’m still here…

    It’s been awhile. Things have been weird…and hard…and stressful…and well, a whole host of other adjectives. But I’m hanging on, and hanging in there. And now that my year is getting back to whatever type of normal it promises to be for awhile, I’m settling in, reaffirming my priorities (or finding new ones in some cases), and creating new routines to fit this busy season of our life – Back to School. I’m a teacher, so this year, things are definitely different. Last Spring, crisis learning was the name of the game, but this year, we are definitely in a situation to provide a much better online experience (for everyone…

  • Experience

    Step One

    Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are the 5 stages of loss, and I can say that I have definitely gone through all of these (I’m currently in stage 5) during #stayathome2020. In early March, I was very much in denial. I watched the news and was pretty sure it would all blow over. Our administration asked for superficial ways to deal with the possibility of remote learning, but the requests were half-hearted. And our janitorial crew jokingly gave us “professional development” on how best to clean our classrooms – spray the counters with disinfectant, wait one minute, and wipe down. We actually had to sign a paper saying we’d been through this training. Things got…

  • My EJC Responses

    Being Mindful of Negative Traits that Hinder Submission

    We all have negative and positive personality traits, but some of our negative traits can directly, and seriously, impact our ability to be successful submissives. It’s not so much having the traits that is the problem (any of us can work to lessen the ill affects of our personality flaws), rather it is the unwillingness to put forth the effort to change, or worse still, identify or admit them. For me, my worst submissive-halting qualities are selfishness and a need to control things. I also have a tendency to hyper-focus…on things that don’t matter nearly as much as my relationships. You know…the things I can control. Like housework and work.…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses,  Opinion

    A note about mindfulness and goals (and submission)

    For many of us, setting goals and making plans is the foundation of hope. And hope is the thing with feathers, yes? Hope is made up of our dreams…and a dream deferred is…well…sometimes necessary (given our current circumstances) and sometimes a way of subconsciously sabotaging our hope. Expect Slip-ups As we begin this new year, full of intentions and plans and goals (or not, as it suits), we know there will be times when we stray or fail to meet our own demands. This is why resolutions so often end up being left behind by the end of January. One slip-up, and we struggle to accept that we can do…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Journal: A Promise to Be Naughtier

    A wish isn’t enough. Neither is an intention. Those are weak, too easy to forget. No. I’m making a promise. I crave the perfect balance between naughty and nice in our sex life: fucking and making love, kink and romance, petting and spanking. But, it’s hard to know when I’ll crave what. That’s what drives Mr. D crazy…because he craves naughty pretty much all the time. He knows I need nice, though, and he delivers: cuddling on the couch, kisses, hugs, romantic sex. I’m not as good at delivering what He needs, though, and the silly part of this is that I need that stuff, too. And the more “naughty” stuff…

  • Blogging & Writing,  My EJC Responses

    Blog Goals for 2020

    Theme for 2020: Mindfulness I’ve got a lot of big plans for the blog this year, but it all boils down to the way I really want to feel and my personal priorities. I want to feel mindful, present, and connected, rather than my normal “distracted, distant, and disconnected.” I want to feel sensual, inspired, and restored (for more information on how I narrowed my “core desired feelings” down to these, see Desire Mapping.) I’m a planner by necessity.  In order to organize my thoughts, I have to plan. And to plan, I have to consider my priorities (relationships and health). From there, I have to list everything that must…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Aging and Masturbation

    When I was very young and figured out that certain places felt good when touched, the only tool I had at my disposal was my own body. I used my hands to explore and touch and rub and pinch, becoming quite adept, by my early teens, at inducing a clitoral orgasm by simply rubbing my fingers quickly across it. These orgasms caused a pulsing of the internal walls of my vagina, and they were satisfying, but it wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I knew a deeper orgasm was possible. Even though I began having sex at 16, I didn’t orgasm with another person until I was in…

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