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What’s your fantasy language?
Awhile back, I did a post on The 3 Things Almost Everyone Fantasizes About, and I promised to come back to the topic and cover the other types of fantasies that are most common, based on the study done for the April book pick Tell Me What You Want. These last four are tied together by the theme “breaking the rules”: taboo & forbidden sex, swinging/partner sharing/polyamory, intimacy/romance/passion, and homoeroticism & gender-bending. Intimacy, Romance, and Passion I’m going to start with intimacy, romance, and passion, because this was my #1. Sadly, it was Mr. D’s #5, which is one of the problems we’ve struggled with over the course of our…
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3 things almost everyone fantasizes about
Recently, I reflected on the first chapter of Justin Lehmiller’s Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. My focus was the seven major categories of fantasy for Americans; I rated those categories top to bottom for myself and then had my Husband do the same, for comparison’s sake. We found a fair amount of difference, which I plan to tackle in this post and few upcoming posts. Chapter two goes into greater detail on the top 3 categories, the most popular being Multi-partner sex, followed by Power, control, and rough sex, and then by Novelty, adventure, and…
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Date Night & Sex Therapy
I came home from work on Friday (a bit early, which was a nice way to end my week), greeted my Husband. He greeted me back, and before I could sit down or begin futzing around the house, as is my usual habit, He told me to follow Him into the bathroom. Instantly, my brain shifted from work mode to submissive mode. (Funny how all it takes is a command…a look…a tone or inflection, at least when we’re in tune with each other.) He directed me to lay down near the bathtub (I thought to myself, this is an odd place to fuck…but okay), close my eyes, and spread my…
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Tell Me What You Want
I’ve been reading a rather interesting study on American sexual desire titled Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life by Justin Lehmiller, PhD. There are 8 intriguing chapters in this book, and since fantasy is at the root of our sex therapy work right now, I think it might be useful to take this one a chapter at a time and do a bit of personal reflection on it. Chapter One This chapter is mainly about the survey that Lehmiller bases much of his theories on. It’s a valuable chapter, though, as it clearly states his definition…
