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Submission is new every day
Side note: I time block using Google Calendar to plan my days and weeks out in advance, making sure I’ve made room for all the things I have to do and as many of the things I want to do as possible. Something new I am trying this year is to delete activities/events on my digital calendar as I complete them. It leaves me with a blank calendar at the end of the day, and the past is the past. It seriously makes me a little anxious, as I have never done this. I usually catalogue and sort and keep evidence of everything I do. And yet, there is really…
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The Pros and Cons of Labels for Sexual Identity
When I was in college, I remember studying the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, the theory that language determines thought. The hypothesis explains that we must draw from the lexicon we have, adding body language and tone to fine tune the messages we intend to communicate. If this hypothesis is correct, then our thoughts are bound by our vocabulary. In other words, we can only think thoughts for which we have words. Now…I know we can encounter and think about things we have no words for, because even those things for which we have no words can be categorized with other similar things for which we do have words: Hmmm…that is round and…
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Establishing Your “Why” So You Can Determine Your “What” and “How”
I, and several other bloggers I follow, seem to have been sort of at a place of reckoning when it comes to our blogs…focusing on getting back to our “roots,” so to speak. But then, of course, you need to know what your roots were/are to do that. And maybe some of you have never even had those. It occurred to me that I could apply to this problem the same logic I use in my field of work. Establish Your Why Ask yourself: Why am I writing/blogging? Determine your What Ask yourself: What will I do to achieve this purpose/goal/aim? Determine Your How Ask yourself: How exactly will I do this? Here’s…
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Stories Matter
I’ve been blogging for alotta years. I started back in 2007 with a simple blogger site where I wrote poems and rambled on about daily happenings. I was a new mom, struggling with managing my multiple roles, and I enjoyed the platform as a place to organize my thoughts by tags and categories. As a life-long diarist/journaler (is that even a word?), I found this process comforting. But, I also found myself getting lost in design and the tech aspects of blogging, spending hours learning HTML and adding images and widgets, rather than focusing on my thoughts and actually writing them. I must have started and abandoned five or six…
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Love Letter
I was going to buy a card today…but the damn things are five or six dollars, and I know I can say it better for free. So here we go. You are the love of my life. I knew you would be early on, even though you can never really be sure how things will turn out. Even when all I had of you was a picture and the words you churned out on the screen, there was a connection…a spark…the beginnings of something. And when I met you in person for the first time, I knew that butterflies in the stomach and weak knees were for real, and that…
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The Mark of Pain
The Theory of (Pain) Relativity I’m fairly new to “enjoying” pain. And I say that with a bit of a grimace, because I’m not sure I’d really call it “enjoyment” quite yet. But there is something appealing about it…something that keeps me coming back, at least periodically, to the thought of it. I’ve even requested spankings a few times, and while I wouldn’t call the feeling “enjoyment” quite yet (or ever?), I would call it cathartic…freeing…unwinding. I suppose there’s real science to back what I’m feeling. The adrenaline rush…the endorphin release. But it doesn’t always feel good…and it doesn’t always help me relax. Which means there’s an element of mindset…
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Developing a Submissive Mindset: Asking Permission
Our D/s has been a little wonky for awhile, but in the last week, we’ve been getting ourselves back on track, just in time for the new year. Today was the first time in a long time I’ve asked permission to masturbate (one of my rules). I’m also supposed to send a photo to Him anytime I do so. This is what I sent Him: I try to avoid the close up pussy pics (though I’m sure He enjoys those, too), as they feel too pornographic to me. I would rather send evidence of a good time had…and appreciation for allowing me to have it. It felt good to ask.…
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Sex as a Reset
Relationships naturally ebb and flow. I go through times when I am super horny and want sex all the time. And then there are (more often) times when I simply go through my days trying to survive being a parent, having a job, running a life, keeping house, etc. Our sexual connection gets lost in the commotion. I’m much more guilty of letting this happen than He is, mainly because I’m more easily drawn into To Do lists, overwhelm, anxiety, etc. The outside world draws me in (and takes more out of me – because I let it) more than it does Him. I’m also more heavily impacted, emotionally, by…
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In Need of Ritual
I’ve been pretty off my game lately. The move, going back to work…all of it has had me back-asswards and stressed out. And it has definitely, just like Mr. D suspected it would, gotten me off my D/s game and squashed my sex drive. This weekend, Mr. D woke me up in the dead of night for some much needed sexual activity. My body responded immediately, which is surprising – both because my libido had been lacking and because I’m not usually keen on being woken up. I was immediately ready to be fucked. But, He didn’t fuck me. He put my hand on His cock, told me to play…
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Humiliation as a Reset
I wouldn’t say that I am into humiliation, however, it can be (even for me) an extremely effective tool for immediately putting me into a submissive head space. Mr. D is not usually into humiliation (that I know of) either, but when He feels he needs to pull out the big guns, the bullets they fire are usually ones that put me immediately in my place, jarringly and unequivocally. As some of you know, our life has been a bit upside-down recently with an in-progress house sale, and as such, our D/s practices have pretty much been put on hold. I have a tendency at these times to go a…
