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Restructuring
So we finally talked this morning, to reestablish our ground rules and boundaries. He began with, tell me what you’re willing to do. It was one way to start. But I opted to turn it around, in an attempt to keep him from editing his desires to accommodate mine. What do you want? We agreed that a D/s foundation is good for us both. He is a better person when he feels his Dominance is strong and respected. It fuels his self-esteem and makes him a happier human. I DO struggle with submission. Not gonna lie…I’m not a natural submissive, but I AM and always have been the more submissive…
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Prayer
I’m not an especially religious sort, but I do pray from time to time. I guess it’s more of a sending out of intentions or energy, or a request for strength or guidance in times of confusion or frustration or despair, rather than a conversation with a God. Though I suppose I’ve had plenty of those, too, over the years. Prayer to me is contemplation, so in many ways, what I do here is prayer. I throw my thoughts out to the universe, and sometimes the universe talks back. Prayer was the topic for today’s #SubmissiveAdvent. The entry for today provides this: Allow me the strength to answer questions I…
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Submissive Triggers
#SubmissiveAdvent It doesn’t take much for Him to trigger the submissive in me, no matter how deeply buried she is, or how resistant…because let me be honest: I am usually a very resistant sub. I’m not going to go into the reasons why right now. That’s bot the focus of today’s consideration, which is what switches the submissive (or Dominant) on for you? I hesitate to use the word trigger, because we’ve given that word an entirely different and negative context, but that is really what I’m talking about. What triggers feelings of submission/Dominance? What puts us in that headspace? While being in good physical, emotional, and mental condition is helpful, it…
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The Submissive’s Advent Calendar
I’ve been out of the blogging habit, but true to my cycle, it is nearly December, and the itch to write is building again. Things have settled at work, routines have been created, and I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the 2021 tunnel. I’ve even gotten Flash Fiction Friday back up and running, and I’ve submitted a Christmas-themed story to Tantalizing Tales. I even made the November cut-off with a piece of supernatural erotica. I’m working on my new theme for the year: Do less, better. In response, I’ve simplified my blog, pared down my projects. What you see is what you get. The only meme…
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Growing together in harmony = Good communication
Continuing on the heels of yesterday’s post, our three-way chat conversation continued, and I think we all navigated it pretty well. It’s hard to have complex “human dynamic” negotiations (especially those that are sexual in nature) without being face to face, seeing body language, being able to quickly gauge tone or emotion. And obviously, more of this will be done when we actually are in the same room. But some “figuring out” of what is expected, who will do what, how, and when, has to come before seeing each other in real life. That’s how we decide if meeting is even something we want to do. And it’s the biggest…
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A “good girl” is always available
He came home an entered my office, where I sat, brain mired in law books and legal cases, writing a paper for school. I looked up at Him, knowing He’d expect me to come in the other room and remove His boots, as is our nightly ritual, but I could see a deeper expectation in His expression. I wasn’t ready to fulfill it. My mind was on my work and I didn’t want to stop. He knows me well, and I’m sure He could see that stress was bubbling to the surface. Before I Had a chance to put up any resistance, like the terrible sub I was being, He…
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Dominance and the Power of Command
I’m on Spring Break right now, which is heavenly. I have absolutely nothing planned, other than catching up on the mountain of laundry in my mudroom, writing, and reading. Mr. D, is at work, though, and sometimes it’s fun when He intrudes on my R & R. Like yesterday – He sent me this text… Send me a picture of your pussy with something in it…preferably something large. I immediately set to work trying to come up with something creative. I looked around the house…and honestly thought through every option that hit my eye: candles, bottles, decorations of various shapes and sizes. But I knew none of these things would…
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Emotional Health and Submission
Submission appeals to responsible, hard working and independent women, because it takes them to a world free from those pressures. Are submissive all hard working and independent? Have you found this statement to be true? Is submission a world without pressure? This morning, as I was doing my submissive reading/research, as I am wont to do on a weekend morning, I came across Lillith Avir’s prompt (above) and read a section of Luna K’s Submissive Journey, “Living as an emotionally healthy submissive.” I find some connections between these two sources, so I wanted to take a moment to reflect. First, I’ll respond to Lillith’s questions. I don’t believe all submissives…
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What can I do for you?
That’s what it’s about, really. Submission may provide me with quite a bit (freedom, well-being, structure, protection and care), but what have I done for Him lately? Well, I don’t expect a standing ovation, but I did initiate sex a few days ago (very unlike me). But mainly this month, I have very subtly been laying groundwork. I wouldn’t call this “topping from the bottom” because I’m not being manipulative and I’m not doing things without permission. As a submissive, I think it’s important to say what I want and need. I’ve asked for more D/s in our daily lives (both in our last counseling session) and during one of…
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Mental Switch – releasing control and managing focus as a submissive
I realized that while I was in control, I was unhappy. I didn’t like being a nag. I didn’t want to have to make all the decisions in a relationship, but I did want a voice. I wanted to feel cared for and respected. I also needed to be vulnerable. –Luna Caruthers I struggle with control. In my daily life, I often find myself fighting to maintain it (of myself and over others). And while I often see it as a necessary part of what I do at work, it exhausts me. It’s difficult to let go of that need to control things, though. Like when you are stuck in…
