-
How I knew I was kinky…
Well, first of all, I’m not positive I’d label myself “kinky,” but then, in the grand scheme, if I were to measure myself against the sexual proclivities of others, I likely am. So here goes. The First Taste of Pain When I was somewhere around 17, I had a boyfriend with that skinny, doped out rocker look. He was what I would describe as being “ugly cute”…some combination of Steven Tyler and Keith Richards…with a little Rod Stewart to slow things down. But something about him drew me in. He wasn’t at all the “manly” type. He was thin and tall and soft spoken. We smoked a lot of…
-
Life outside my comfort zone
One of my major goals this year is being more vulnerable. Not in the sense of being weak, but in the sense of being open. Letting go, following His direction better with full trust, and trying new things. And I feel like I’m doing a decent job at this. Not only have I had to be much more vulnerable at work, given our move toward social/emotional support, I’ve been going back to school myself, to prepare for a rather big shift in my career. Last week, I also decided to apply for a new position that would make it difficult to turn back. It’s once of those “two roads diverged…
-
Growing together in harmony = Good communication
Continuing on the heels of yesterday’s post, our three-way chat conversation continued, and I think we all navigated it pretty well. It’s hard to have complex “human dynamic” negotiations (especially those that are sexual in nature) without being face to face, seeing body language, being able to quickly gauge tone or emotion. And obviously, more of this will be done when we actually are in the same room. But some “figuring out” of what is expected, who will do what, how, and when, has to come before seeing each other in real life. That’s how we decide if meeting is even something we want to do. And it’s the biggest…
-
I’m (not) afraid (anymore)
I feel like I’m constantly evolving, learning and growing as I push to take up more space inside of myself. It’s a wonderland inside my brain, and there are never-ending possibilities for expansion. Especially when it comes to my sexuality. That’s how this blog was found. I knew I wanted to write, and I knew I wanted to share what I wrote and communicate with others, but until I found my theme and honed in on the specific topic of sex, my blog was pretty much just a jumble of thoughts about everything, and it wasn’t helpful at all in finding clarity. Now, not only do I know what I’m…
-
My Sexual Aspirations
This week’s prompt for The Erotic Journal Challenge is: Imagine you found a magic lantern (or other container), and inside lived a genie who only granted sexual wishes. If that genie gave you 3 wishes, what would you wish for? And why? Rather than wishes, I’m going to focus on three sexual aspirations (or goals) I have for myself, because after really thinking about it, wishes seem so unrealistic and unlikely to happen. Plus, wishing puts all the control in someone else’s hands, rather than mine. And, since I’m the only one who has any real control, I can only imagine that if I came across a genie, he’d just look at me…
-
D/s Doesn’t Mean Leaving Vanilla Behind
This post is #12 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts. Discussing my journey from “just vanilla” to D/s isn’t something new for this site. I’ve written many posts on this topic, several of which were compiled in this post. This post is the first I ever wrote about myself possibly being submissive. But, since the question is being asked for 30 Days of D/s, I guess I’ll go back and look at it from a fresh perspective. I’m a fan of vanilla. It’s my go-to latte flavor, and while…
-
Sex Ed Should Last Forever
I’m still learning sex…at forty-two…because, let’s be honest, there’s a lot to learn, and I’m not about to claim expertise on a subject so vast and deep. That’s probably why my sex blog has lasted longer than any other I’ve started over the years: there’s simply a never-ending well of things to find out and share about sex. It begins when we’re young. We learn from what our parents tell us…or sometimes more from what they don’t. Maybe we learn a few things from our friends (some of which might be true). And then we fill in the blanks with our suppositions and fears and expectations. Schools jump in and…
-
A Book-ish History of Sexual Education
I think it all started with… My dad had a few hidden between the towels in the bathroom cupboard. I can’t imagine how he thought that was a suitable hiding place, though I’m sure it was more about accessibility and less about logic. The first time I found them, I looked through them and wondered at the reason for having such a thing. I was maybe a first or second grader at the time, so I could read, but at that tender age, reading wasn’t what I was doing as I flipped through the pages. Ironically, later in life, I would subscribe to the magazine…for the articles (and fiction). Later…
-
Pandora’s Box: A History of Experimentation, Fear, and Insecurity
It is hard to explain why I would still feel fear in a safe and solid relationship. My sexual insecurities, irrational fears, and difficulty being vulnerable have caused more trouble than I can possibly ever explain. But, I’ll give it a go. The beginning… When I first met Mr. D, we had a rather (what I thought at the time) wild sex life. I met him through a local online dating service that no longer exists. We were the only people on the site under 40 without children, and so, while neither of us felt the other was “ideal,” we began emailing back and forth and then talking on the…
-
Hurt
Mom I walked out to the living room in my brand new back-to-school outfit…that one I’d searched for tirelessly while shopping with my father the day before. It was my first jean mini-skirt. Frosted and just above the knee, it buttoned all the way down the front. With it, I wore an off-the-shoulder white crop sweater and a tank top beneath, showing just one strap. My mother took one look at me and told me to go change. “I’m not sending my daughter to school looking like a whore.” I don’t think I stopped crying until well through first period English. Drew I was 16, lying in my boyfriend’s brother’s…
