Sooooo….on Sunday… Mr. D came home early in the afternoon, since all of his dress clothes were still at the house. We got ready for the company party together and dropped our son off at the grandparents’. I wasn’t sure how the whole evening would go, but the company party is usually a decently small enough gathering not to completely sap my weak and easily drained introvert energy. I know most of the people and the food is always amazing. So, I managed to truly have a good time, and I’m sure not a soul in the place could tell there was trouble in paradise. I also know he’s not…

A week and a half into our separation, and I’m just now beginning to struggle with finding my feet. It’s easy to fall back on routine and compartmentalizing my emotions, but these habits keep me from facing things and growing. My emotional struggles show themselves through my writing. When I’m unable to write or don’t feel motivation…when it pours from my fingers and won’t let me sleep…when it’s full of lust or sadness. My writing is my litmus test and my cure. And from my measure, right now, I need a week long writing retreat. I can’t do that quite yet, because my life won’t allow it. But winter break…

Note: These posts are not meant to make anyone uncomfortable. I realize it’s hard to know how to react or respond to someone else’s pain or heartache. I write to heal, to understand, to share, and because stories can help others. There is no need to sympathize or find difficult words. Likewise, don’t feel you cannot or should not comment. I share these posts because they are part of my story. No story is perfect. And, while this is not sexy writing, it is my pathway back to it. So bear with me awhile…please. I appreciate your support. This last Saturday, my son had his final soccer game out of…

I realize that not everyone is going to be interested in reading about my rather unfortunate current marital circumstances. But, for my own sake, writing about what is happening in my life allows me to process and make sense of things. It is how I learn. I share it because I know that it just might help someone else going through something similar. I’m going to term these posts “The Separation, Day ___” in order to warn readers away who might rather not read them and pull in those who would. Anyhow…here I am, on my first night of The Separation. He’s gone. It’s quiet. The house is clean. I…

Shit’s ugly right now. But, you know, even in the midst of my marriage falling apart, there is still much to be grateful for: 12+ years with my best friend, and though not all the days were good, the ones that were, I’d never trade for a million years…no regrets, right? a gorgeous, intelligent boy we made together, raised together, and will continue to help grow into an amazing young man, no matter what happens between us a cool, clean floor to place my bare feet upon and feel grounded family to support me books to lose myself in yoga to help me find my center and breathe through the…