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Soul-sharing
“Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.” William James Reality is very much a product of personal experience. How I process events, what I remember, what I forget. And I have a tendency to get lost in a moment, keeping only snippets, feelings, thoughts, smells. This is part of the reason I journal so regularly and write things down. I forget specifics and details. But the ones I do remember, I needle on. I’m a big picture girl, who obsesses about things that often don’t matter, and doesn’t pay enough attention to the…
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Showing Up
This is one of those quotes I come back to and consider in various capacities of my life. It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again… who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. The…
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Not measuring up…
I’ll warn you now, this is really just a boring self-accountability post. Nothing sexy here. Just thinking on the page. It won’t hurt my feelings if you duck out now. In fact, I won’t even notice. Last week’s review/preview was titled “The inevitable slowdown,” and this week, I find myself feeling like I’m simply not measuring up. So, I spent a few hours reflecting on what is working and what isn’t working in my life right now. “To understand is to perceive patterns.” Isaiah Berlin In the course of my reflection, I realized that breaks set me up for unrealistic expectations. For example, over my winter holiday, I…
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3 things I appreciate about my lover
I know I haven’t been posting quite as regularly this past several days. It was a rough week. We had a fairly serious situation at work mid-week, and it took all my bandwidth to attend to it, both professionally and emotionally. I really just needed to disconnect when I got home in the evenings, and yesterday, I spent the afternoon binge-watching a TV show (which I rarely do on my own). I’m feeling stable and rested now, though. So, I’m sure this coming week will be better. I’ll be putting a review/preview post out later, probably tomorrow, since I’m off work. Better late than never, eh? But today, I wanted…
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Consistent
My word for this year is CONSISTENT. It’s not a terribly creative word. Not very touchy-feely either like my last one…Vulnerability. But it’s where I’m at. I have a tendency to cycle, in pretty much ever facet of my life. I start things and don’t finish, I commit to things and give up. Sometimes, that is honestly okay. Not everything in life must be completed. In fact, sometimes it makes good sense to drop things or walk away. But a few areas in my life deserve more from me. And those are the places where I need to apply a more dedicated mindset. Never confuse action with movement.…
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State of the Union
I’ve done a State of the Union post at the beginning of the year before. Just a description of where my sex life and marriage is today…to get the lay of the land, so to speak. It’s hard to decide where to go next if you aren’t fully aware of where you are now and where you’ve been…and we’ve been a lot of places. Currently, we’re getting back on the horse, after a long stint of slowly falling apart. I’ve only recently reviewed that, so I won’t rehash it here. But, we are currently doing okay 👍. We’ve had sex a few times (instigated from both sides) and have agreed…
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Developments
It had been nearly three weeks since we’d had hungry, mindless, middle-of-the-night sex. Sex that he woke up regretting because he felt it sent the message that things were fine…or better. We’ve been here before. Nothing new, and most of my readers are already familiar with the tale. But for those who are not, here’s a synopsis: The school year begins and my stress level increases. My focus turns to work, and my libido takes a hike. Sometime around November, things calm down, and my libido returns, along with my creative focus. Given my work, this cycle isn’t likely to change until I retire. There are just times of year…
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The Submissive’s Advent Calendar
I’ve been out of the blogging habit, but true to my cycle, it is nearly December, and the itch to write is building again. Things have settled at work, routines have been created, and I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the 2021 tunnel. I’ve even gotten Flash Fiction Friday back up and running, and I’ve submitted a Christmas-themed story to Tantalizing Tales. I even made the November cut-off with a piece of supernatural erotica. I’m working on my new theme for the year: Do less, better. In response, I’ve simplified my blog, pared down my projects. What you see is what you get. The only meme…
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Mistakes were made…
I have a poster on my classroom wall that says… Yesterday, a student noticed it, said he liked it, and noted how true it was. I emphatically agreed, extending the conversation a bit with, “if you never fail, it means you aren’t being challenged. If things are always easy, and you always get A’s, that means you aren’t learning anything. And that means I’m not doing my job.” It honestly looked like a light bulb had just gone on above his head. And later, one went off above mine, as I related it to this quote and to my own life–my marriage specifically…and even more specifically, our sex life. Mistakes…
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Change
Last night I yawned, and stretched, and he reached over, tweaked my nipple and ruined my stretch. We both laughed…because it’s an inside joke…something he always does (or used to, when we were okay). The night before, he smacked my ass with a wooden spoon (the one he uses to itch beneath his cast) when I got up to refill my drink. Later he mentioned how good it felt to spank me…even if it was just a playful swat in the company of others during the course of our normal family evening. Those little sexual undercurrents that infuse themselves into daily activities are the heartbeat of a thriving sex life.…
