• Experience,  Poetry,  Poetry Challenge 2020

    I Swallow

    It may be a deceitful title…as you are likely expecting something much sexier than what you are about to read…but… I’ve not been writing much on the blog as of late. My work life has taken me down a road I never planned nor wanted to travel, and now I am online much of the day, planning, writing emails, attending virtual meetings. It’s laborious and leaves me wanting nothing to do with the computer after I am done. Yesterday, I got out the magnetic poetry…just to get away from the screen for awhile…and in an effort to find a way to create in a non-digital atmosphere. I piled those little…

  • Experience

    Recommitting (The Separation, Day 24)

    Sooooo….on Sunday… Mr. D came home early in the afternoon, since all of his dress clothes were still at the house. We got ready for the company party together and dropped our son off at the grandparents’. I wasn’t sure how the whole evening would go, but the company party is usually a decently small enough gathering not to completely sap my weak and easily drained introvert energy. I know most of the people and the food is always amazing. So, I managed to truly have a good time, and I’m sure not a soul in the place could tell there was trouble in paradise. I also know he’s not…

  • Experience

    Finding my feet (The Separation, Day 11)

    A week and a half into our separation, and I’m just now beginning to struggle with finding my feet. It’s easy to fall back on routine and compartmentalizing my emotions, but these habits keep me from facing things and growing. My emotional struggles show themselves through my writing. When I’m unable to write or don’t feel motivation…when it pours from my fingers and won’t let me sleep…when it’s full of lust or sadness. My writing is my litmus test and my cure. And from my measure, right now, I need a week long writing retreat. I can’t do that quite yet, because my life won’t allow it. But winter break…

  • Experience

    The Separation, day 9

    Note: These posts are not meant to make anyone uncomfortable. I realize it’s hard to know how to react or respond to someone else’s pain or heartache. I write to heal, to understand, to share, and because stories can help others. There is no need to sympathize or find difficult words. Likewise, don’t feel you cannot or should not comment. I share these posts because they are part of my story. No story is perfect. And, while this is not sexy writing, it is my pathway back to it. So bear with me awhile…please. I appreciate your support. This last Saturday, my son had his final soccer game out of…

  • Experience

    The Separation, Day 1

    I realize that not everyone is going to be interested in reading about my rather unfortunate current marital circumstances. But, for my own sake, writing about what is happening in my life allows me to process and make sense of things. It is how I learn. I share it because I know that it just might help someone else going through something similar. I’m going to term these posts “The Separation, Day ___” in order to warn readers away who might rather not read them and pull in those who would. Anyhow…here I am, on my first night of The Separation. He’s gone. It’s quiet. The house is clean. I…

  • Experience

    Thankful

    Shit’s ugly right now. But, you know, even in the midst of my marriage falling apart, there is still much to be grateful for: 12+ years with my best friend, and though not all the days were good, the ones that were, I’d never trade for a million years…no regrets, right? a gorgeous, intelligent boy we made together, raised together, and will continue to help grow into an amazing young man, no matter what happens between us a cool, clean floor to place my bare feet upon and feel grounded family to support me books to lose myself in yoga to help me find my center and breathe through the…

  • Experience

    Baggage

    I looked at this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt (Suitcases) and thought and thought about what kind of post I might do. Much like last week, I’ve sort of found myself at a creative loss. I don’t know if that is because I’ve been sick, grieving, depressed, or just plain uninspired. Most likely, it’s a combination of all…and then some. I did receive a few emails from a reader, however, that have guided me to a related topic. Suitcases are a type of baggage, right? And we all have that…some of us a little more than others. This reader asked a few questions, made a few connections, and has inspired me…

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