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Keeping the candle lit
I didn’t post yesterday because I didn’t feel well. I woke too early, my eyes were puffy in response to something I’d eaten, I’m guessing. Or maybe I cried in my sleep. And I simply had no energy or motivation. I was low, too. So I spent the day sleeping and hidden in my book, where I could stop thinking and just be. In our conversation Saturday morning, he made many valid points, but there was no solution. I was basically left with: I suck, and there’s nothing that can be done. He feels sex is a bad idea, in this climate, and noted regret for the last time, when,…
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Smile
#SubmissiveAdvent I do a lot of smiling every day, especially at work. It’s always been an easy way to connect with others and set the tone. Wearing a mask has severely gotten in the way. Working with young people, who often rely on body language and facial expressions to make sense of the world around them and determine their level of trust and safety, can be difficult with masks. And I think it is starting to wear on us all. I’m not arguing the health and safety protocol. What I’m saying is that masks have exacerbated the social separation. Nearly two years apart, and now we must keep social distance…
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Joy in Accomplishment
#SubmissiveAdvent I’m the type of person who feeds off the rush I get from being productive. I’m good at planning and setting goals and, at least in my professional life, I’m good at accomplishing what I set out to do. I am constantly learning and improving. Last year and this year, I’ve been working on a degree to move into an administrative role. I’m in the internship phase now, with only 2 more classes to go. I’m a 3rd of the way through my portfolio. And then…well: opportunities. I wish I was as good at this process in my personal life. The benefit of this is a sense of competency,…
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Compliments
#SubmissiveAdvent I’ve gotten much better at taking compliments over the years…mainly because I’ve become more confident and aware of my strengths and more accepting of my weaknesses. No one is perfect, but we are all good at something. Out job is to find what that is and capitalize on it. I may not be thin. My body may be giving in to gravity. But it is strong enough and healthy enough to get me around. And the important people find me attractive. I’m intelligent and good at my job. It doesn’t mean I don’t always have more to learn…in fact, that is one of my strengths: the capacity to accept…
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Be kind to yourself
#SubmissiveAdvent I’m taking the night off, so you are getting a short post. It was a long day at work, I had homework, and now I’m just getting into bed. I have to be kind to myself…because “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” I need to lose myself in a chapter or two of my latest read (In Another Light by A.J. Banner). And then I need a good 7 hours of sleep to tackle another day. #loveletter None tonight. But I assure you that your needs have not been forgotten. I owe you an orgasm. #UnwrapMe I forgot to take a picture in my work clothes. But…
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Submissive Triggers
#SubmissiveAdvent It doesn’t take much for Him to trigger the submissive in me, no matter how deeply buried she is, or how resistant…because let me be honest: I am usually a very resistant sub. I’m not going to go into the reasons why right now. That’s bot the focus of today’s consideration, which is what switches the submissive (or Dominant) on for you? I hesitate to use the word trigger, because we’ve given that word an entirely different and negative context, but that is really what I’m talking about. What triggers feelings of submission/Dominance? What puts us in that headspace? While being in good physical, emotional, and mental condition is helpful, it…
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My Album/Artist of the Year
#SubmissiveAdvent I listen to music all the time, but I rarely attach to a particular artist enough to buy an album anymore. I think that has a lot to do with streaming services like Spotify that allow me instant access to pretty much anything I want. I only downloaded two whole albums this year: Chris Stapleton and Luke Coombs So if I were handing out awards, my album and artist of the year would be Chris Stapleton (From a Room), and my runner up would be Luke Combs (What You See is What You Get). My favorite songs? Chris Stapleton: Millionaire, Tennessee Whiskey Luke Combs: Forever After All Yeah, it’s been…
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The Greatest Reward
#SubmissiveAdvent I’m not going to say I don’t love gifts or tangible rewards. In fact, on occasion, a surprise present or flowers or something I can wear is awesome and appreciated. But more than that, I run on praise for a job well done. When I know I’ve worked hard or done something challenging or useful or expected, simply being told “thank you,” or “good job,” or “good girl.” Being acknowledged…having someone notice the things I do…it goes a long way to encouraging repeat action on my part. Not being recognized for hard work can be de-motivating. And being criticized can shut me down completely or anger me into “I’ll…
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Wise Words
#SubmissiveAdvent Today’s topic is “wise words,” and I immediately thought of my daily journal entry, which I basically copy and paste to review and update every morning. Here’s the template that I use: Gratitude: 1. 2. 3. Intention: 3 good things: (I fill this in at the end of the day.) 1. 2. 3. ——————————— CDFs: (stands for “core desired feelings”) “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” 1. HEALTHY…Mentally, physically, emotionally “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” 2. CONNECTED with the people who matter. 3. PRODUCTIVE “Remember your why.” “You are totally replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home. Always remember that, and…
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The Good Perfume
#SubmissiveAdvent I’ve never been a fan of owning “good” dishes or glassware that I only pull out for special occasions. Even my “nice” dishes are just from Walmart. And most of the rest is hand-me-downs from my mom. So why do I have “good” perfume, that I know He loves, that I only pull out for special occasions? Today, I decided that’s dumb. If He likes it and it makes me feel sexy, I should be wearing it all the fucking time. I suppose there is the theory that keeping it “special” makes it stand out. But honestly, if we get tired of it or it loses its appeal, there…
