• Experience

    Libido: Motivation vs. Momentum

    Last week, an article was presented to me that outlined the differences between motivation and momentum. In the article, it defined to the two concepts like this… Motivation is a feeling that you experience when you desire something, which has a tendency to ebb and flow. (What’s inspiring you to make changes right now?) Momentum is defined as “the strength or force that something has when it is moving.” It then posited the following questions… What if we focused on gaining momentum instead of relying solely on “being motivated?” What’s the first action you need to take to move toward a current goal? Think about what needs to happen for…

  • Experience

    My Libido is a Feral Cat

    I posted a tweet this morning that my libido is like a feral cat, but that I fed her from my hand this morning and I hoped she would be back for dinner (I do). It’s a fairly transparent metaphor, and it works pretty well, except for the fact that my “feral cat” can be coaxed and seem tame for quite some time…and then go right back to her feral ways without warning. It’s beyond aggravating and causes no end of grief for both myself and my husband (whose libido is pretty steady and much higher than my own). The biggest problem with my low libido is that because I…

  • Experience

    Step One

    Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are the 5 stages of loss, and I can say that I have definitely gone through all of these (I’m currently in stage 5) during #stayathome2020. In early March, I was very much in denial. I watched the news and was pretty sure it would all blow over. Our administration asked for superficial ways to deal with the possibility of remote learning, but the requests were half-hearted. And our janitorial crew jokingly gave us “professional development” on how best to clean our classrooms – spray the counters with disinfectant, wait one minute, and wipe down. We actually had to sign a paper saying we’d been through this training. Things got…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Mental Health’s Impact on Sex Drive (revisited)

    When I was young, I was moody. Anxious…on my way to an ulcer before I graduated high school. I was internally driven and often ran myself into the ground during periods of great productivity and creativity (I still do this, much to my Husband’s chagrin). I also found myself doing rather rash and stupid things sexually…usually while using alcohol and drugs. After these bouts of both good and bad behavior, I would shut down, hibernating in my room for days. My parents chalked it up to me being a teenage girl. But the behavior continued into college, becoming more pronounced and occurring more often. For me, as an English major,…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    The “Crazy” Cycle

    This week’s Erotic Journal Challenge Prompt is “Hormones,” but as I find, for me, that this is also very tied to next week’s topic “Mental Health,” I’m going to go ahead and connect the two. I’ve already posted on both of these topics quite a few times, but I want to focus in on their direct relation to my current sense of sexuality, erotic well-being, and sexual relationship. I guess all of us have issues with hormones as some point in our life. And I know that quite a few of us struggle with various mental health issues (or combinations of several). When you put hormones and mental health issues…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience

    This is Not “Sub Frenzy”

    This post is #27 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts. As someone who deals with bi-polar disorder and completely understands the implications of manic behavior, I guess I’d have to admit that I can become frenetic about anything new: a project, a goal, a plan, and yes…a lifestyle. Though I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing, necessarily, to be excited about the prospects of “new” endeavors, the “new” does tend to wear off pretty quickly for me. And I fear that. Because when it wears off, it often brings guilt and shame…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience

    Sexual Availability

    This post is #23 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  D/s relationships often include some type of sexual availability…and mine surely does. When He asks, I am rarely willing to attempt a “no.” And I usually have no problem jumping to fulfill his sexual needs, be it a blow job in the afternoon, a morning fuck, or a mid-day bend-over in the bedroom. I don’t mind Him fucking my face, using me for His pleasure. In fact, I enjoy it 90% of the time. Sexsomnia The time I have the most trouble…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    D/s Doesn’t Mean Leaving Vanilla Behind

    This post is #12 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Discussing my journey from “just vanilla” to D/s isn’t something new for this site. I’ve written many posts on this topic, several of which were compiled in this post. This post is the first I ever wrote about myself possibly being submissive. But, since the question is being asked for 30 Days of D/s, I guess I’ll go back and look at it from a fresh perspective. I’m a fan of vanilla. It’s my go-to latte flavor, and while…

  • Experience

    I want it when I’ve had it

    So, I’m going to take you down a bit of a rabbit hole today. This morning, I read a January 30th post from Marie Rebel titled “Less Sex, Less Drive” that began by referencing a January 3rd post from Girl on the Net titled “What If I Never Have Sex Again?” This is the quote that Marie opens with: Secondly, I think my sex drive would probably just start to erode. My lust is pretty self-sustaining, in that the more recently I have had sex, the more likely I am to want more sex. As the time passes between shags, whichever part of my brain (or my cunt) is responsible for telling…

  • Experience,  Photography

    On the path to rebuilding

    Mr. D brought me a special present from his business trip. A nasty cold. Hence missing out on Masturbation Monday, yesterday, which sucks, because I was looking forward to writing up part 2 of “What’s in the Bag?” But I suppose that can marinate for another week. I didn’t do ANY writing yesterday. Basically, I napped, watched TV, and sat around reading all day. The benefit of that, however (and there were actually several, since it was gloomy and I had nothing planned anyway), is that I finished my first book of the year and made significant progress on the behemoth I have now committed myself to. I did not work…

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