• Experience,  Opinion

    Telling My Inner Critic to Fuck Off

    It is useful and necessary to have an inner voice. We need to be able to consider and argue our way into doing what we must. It’s how we mull over difficult decisions and build ourselves up when things get tough. If there were nothing but static or silence in our heads, we wouldn’t probably be very fabulous human beings. Empty. Thoughtless. Introspection, meta-cognition, reflection…these things make us human. Without the ability (or if we deny the ability), I will say flat out that I believe it makes us shallow. I have no problem with people (in fact I sort of envy them) who have the talent for shutting their…

  • Experience

    Self-Service: The Art of Female Masturbation

    Oh my, but aren’t there a hundred thousand ways to touch one’s self?!! I was thinking about this morning, as I lay in bed, and got to wondering… I know I have my favorite ways of pleasuring myself. The ways that just work quickly to “get the job done,” the ways that draw it out, nice and slow. Hands/Fingers When I was young, this is the only thing I had, and so I learned fairly quickly how to use them adeptly for a quick, external clitoral orgasm. These were straight-forward and rather intense, but, they were all I really new before I had sex for the first time and realized…

  • Experience


    I’m pretty much a black and white (and beige) lingerie girl, but I’ve been trying to add a little color to my drawers for awhile now. I’ve got red, and purple, and blue now…even some light pink. In this image, I’m actually wearing black, but I like how these filters find the heat in the image and highlight those areas. It did some fun things with the lace.

  • Experience,  Opinion

    Curating Our Destinies through Good Time-Management

    My yoga teacher shared this quote with us in class today, and it resonated with me enough that I thought I’d use it to help me respond to Marie’s Wicked Wednesday prompt regarding time-management. Not long ago, I’ve written several posts on planning, goals, and time-management over the past few weeks, and I do spend a lot of time researching what others have to say on the subject, trying hard to use my time in the most effective ways, set priorities, and plan and achieve all the right goals. It can be overwhelming, trying to keep up with everything I feel I’m supposed to be accomplishing. But I wanted to…

  • Fiction

    The Ghost in the Window

    “They say she shows up whenever the fog rolls in and that she’s always naked when she appears,” Ginny’s eyes squinted up at the second floor window of her aunt’s newly renovated Victorian. Calvin glanced over at Ginny, eyebrows raised skeptically and inquisitively. “Have you seen her?” “I think I did once, when I was really young, but you know how a kid’s imagination can be. I might’ve just willed myself to see it.” “But you’ve stayed in the house before, right?” Calvin asked. “Of course,” Ginny replied, “Lot’s of times.” “Ever hear anything up there?” “It’s an old house, Cal, it makes all kinds of noises.” “Yeah, but…” Cal…

  • My EJC Responses

    Defining “Mindful Marriage”

    I spent a little time today researching “mindful marriage,” just trying to get a handle on what the internet thinks it is, in all its variations. I liked this definition of mindfulness from marriage.com: In its simplest form, mindfulness is about being in the present moment, slowing down to become attuned with ourselves and others, and acknowledging the experiences of ourselves and others with a spirit of curiosity and compassion. It means not letting our awareness wander when we are supposed to be focused on something specific. It means being HERE…NOW…IN THIS PLACE…WITH THIS PERSON…COMPLETELY. I can honestly say, I don’t do that often enough. My brain is so fractured…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Luck Is Not Chance

    “Luck is not chance– It’s Toil– Fortune’s expensive smile Is earned–“ Emily Dickinson I am very much wrapped up in the considerations of several memes this afternoon, my head full of the words of others, as I have spent the majority of my morning reading blog posts that have got me thinking deeply about my own life and marriage and desires. This year, I have made “mindfulness” my word…my aim in all things. But, I am finding it, already, overwhelming…and myself a disappointment. We are 19 days into a new year, and due to illness (first Him, then me, then Him), Mr. D and I haven’t had sex once. For…

  • Experience

    The Mind-Body-Breath Connection

    Some time ago, I remember listening to a comedian make fun of women who get those little “breathe” tattoos on the inside of their wrist. As if we really needed to remind ourselves to fucking breathe, right? Are we really that stupid? Actually…we aren’t…and a little reminder to breathe – THE RIGHT WAY – isn’t a bad thing. The heart of sensuality for me is touch, and that means body awareness. Taking a moment to check in with your body – how it feels, where it is tight, where it is hurting – is imperative to living sensually. It all begins with the mind-body-breath connection. Simply slowing down enough to…

  • Experience

    There’s No Place Like Home

    What does Home mean to you? Is Home a Place or Person? Where would you most like to live in the world? What makes a house a Home? Creating a Space that Feels Like Home I am an introvert…and an unapologetic homebody. I’m also, no surprise, a nester, and, because I spend so much time at home when I’m not working, I spend a hefty amount of time ensuring that my spaces feel “just right.” We just moved this past summer from a home we’d been in for more than 12 years. It was the first home we chose together, and it was the first home our son knew. And…

  • Experience,  Opinion

    The Mark of Pain

    The Theory of (Pain) Relativity I’m fairly new to “enjoying” pain. And I say that with a bit of a grimace, because I’m not sure I’d really call it “enjoyment” quite yet. But there is something appealing about it…something that keeps me coming back, at least periodically, to the thought of it. I’ve even requested spankings a few times, and while I wouldn’t call the feeling “enjoyment” quite yet (or ever?), I would call it cathartic…freeing…unwinding. I suppose there’s real science to back what I’m feeling. The adrenaline rush…the endorphin release. But it doesn’t always feel good…and it doesn’t always help me relax. Which means there’s an element of mindset…

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