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Not measuring up…
I’ll warn you now, this is really just a boring self-accountability post. Nothing sexy here. Just thinking on the page. It won’t hurt my feelings if you duck out now. In fact, I won’t even notice. Last week’s review/preview was titled “The inevitable slowdown,” and this week, I find myself feeling like I’m simply not measuring up. So, I spent a few hours reflecting on what is working and what isn’t working in my life right now. “To understand is to perceive patterns.” Isaiah Berlin In the course of my reflection, I realized that breaks set me up for unrealistic expectations. For example, over my winter holiday, I…
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Consistent
My word for this year is CONSISTENT. It’s not a terribly creative word. Not very touchy-feely either like my last one…Vulnerability. But it’s where I’m at. I have a tendency to cycle, in pretty much ever facet of my life. I start things and don’t finish, I commit to things and give up. Sometimes, that is honestly okay. Not everything in life must be completed. In fact, sometimes it makes good sense to drop things or walk away. But a few areas in my life deserve more from me. And those are the places where I need to apply a more dedicated mindset. Never confuse action with movement.…
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Limbo
You may be noticing my absence recently. And if you’ve been around long enough, that probably isn’t surprising. It’s definitely the time of year when I have less to say…less to do…less to give. At the end of a school year, I’m spent, and I sort of hit the wall when I stop moving. My forward momentum gives in, and I find myself suspended and inactive, forced to float between what was and what will be. Summer break is a weird sort of limbo for me. Many people got to see what it was like during the pandemic. How it is that we can have all this time and still…
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There are a hundred ways…
There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground. – Rumi There are two days left in 2020, and while our yearly endings and beginnings are a human construct and only psychologically create doors from one thing to another, there is something gratifying about the closure and opportunity that New Year’s brings. I always feel a certain motivational energy at this time of year, and it feels a bit like shedding my skin and letting go of all that wasn’t done to my liking. I hear a lot of talk about how happy people are to be done with 2020, as if somehow, we will wake up on…
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The Turning Point
Today is the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, and the night that marks the return of the sun – in effect, tonight is the sun’s birthday…and that is certainly something to celebrate. (Of course, in the Pacific Northwest, our worst weather tends to come in January and February, but at least spring is in sight and 2020 – this fucking dumpster fire of a year – will be behind us.) The majority of our Christian holiday traditions during this season are taken from the Pagan celebrations of Yule and the Solstice. And as I’m not a Christian, I do tend to prefer thinking of this season in…
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Finding my way back to good
So I’ve been trying to improve my active submission this week. I’ve been lighting a candle when I get home in an effort to transition my brain from work day to home life (and, in effect, my role as sub). I’ll continue to hone this transitional ritual. After reflecting on my submissive identity, I also asked Mr. D if I could return to removing His boots when He gets home from work, which He seemed quite pleased with. It’s been a long time since I did this, and simply asking if I could do it was a step, since I’m terrible at asking for things that I want. I’m not…
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How I Plan My Goals & Schedule in 6 Steps
I never like to presume that I know how to do something better than someone else. What works for me isn’t always what will work for you. But, I’ve had a few twitter DMs and emails that have me thinking that this post might be necessary and valuable for some. My Resources: First, you need to know the resources I have accessed over the years to gain the background knowledge that I use for my process. I’ve read a lot of books on this topic, and these are the ones that I have consistently relied upon. I prefer audiobooks for this because…well…I don’t have a lot of time, and Iike…
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A note about mindfulness and goals (and submission)
For many of us, setting goals and making plans is the foundation of hope. And hope is the thing with feathers, yes? Hope is made up of our dreams…and a dream deferred is…well…sometimes necessary (given our current circumstances) and sometimes a way of subconsciously sabotaging our hope. Expect Slip-ups As we begin this new year, full of intentions and plans and goals (or not, as it suits), we know there will be times when we stray or fail to meet our own demands. This is why resolutions so often end up being left behind by the end of January. One slip-up, and we struggle to accept that we can do…
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Time is Not Infinite
I do promise to get back to the sexy posts. As soon as the business side of my life is caught up (the “behind the scenes” of a sex blog is not always dildos and spankings), I’ll be able to settle in. I’ve been busy setting up affiliate relationships, calendaring reviews, responding to emails, and basically figuring out the road map for this blog for a few weeks now. I’ve been working on getting a business license, organizing my podcast…and guys, it’s A LOT of work. For FREE. I mean…yes, I get a “good feeling” inside because I’m writing and producing content that people respond to, but I spend hours…
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The Desire Map Planner: Put Your Soul on the Agenda
I’ve written about The Desire Map before, but as I just joined Danielle Laporte’s affiliate program, I wanted to take a moment to explain the product and why I support it. I’m pretty choosy about the advertising I’m willing to do. From the products I test and review to the company’s I work with, I choose to support only those that fit with my own interests and values and will likely meet the needs and interests of my readers. So even though this is a sex blog, and even though this planner program (and related products) are not sex-related, I think these products belong here because they encourage introspection, goal-setting…
