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Looking Back
I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my body since I can remember caring about it. Pretty much as soon as my boobs popped up and the hair on my legs began to grow, I’ve been self-conscious about some part(s) of it, comparing myself to other girls/women and falling prey to the media expectation of what I “should” look like. Weight? Thigh gap? Cellulite? Stretch marks? Even the color of my skin. I remember being in junior high and high school and being super concerned about how pale my skin was in the summer time. My white friends would wear shorts and be somewhat tan, or at least have a smooth…
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Pandora’s Box: A History of Experimentation, Fear, and Insecurity
It is hard to explain why I would still feel fear in a safe and solid relationship. My sexual insecurities, irrational fears, and difficulty being vulnerable have caused more trouble than I can possibly ever explain. But, I’ll give it a go. The beginning… When I first met Mr. D, we had a rather (what I thought at the time) wild sex life. I met him through a local online dating service that no longer exists. We were the only people on the site under 40 without children, and so, while neither of us felt the other was “ideal,” we began emailing back and forth and then talking on the…
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His Hands
His hands, full of heat and healing energy, have the ability to both decrease or increase my heartbeat. Depending on the moment, they can calm me, rubbing knots out of my shoulders and backside, holding my hand, sitting on my thigh, cupped around my breast as we fall asleep. Or they can raise my pulse: roving, gripping, pulling, grabbing, holding me down, leading me, fingers entering, searching, finding just the places he knows will make me squirm and leave me in a puddle. His hands are strong, capable, less rough than they used to be, but definitely the hands of a man who has done hard work in his life…
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FPF Day 25 – Converse & Socks
“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she can conquer the world.” – Marilyn Monroe
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Presenting (Sinful Sunday & FPF #24)
“Get up on your hands and knees.” “Like this?” I inquired. As he guided the camera on its tripod, he asked me, “What would you do with your body if I asked to be ready for me?” I arched my back a bit, and leaned forward some. “No…if I were going to stick my cock into you…what would you do, how would you be…you’d push your hips into the air…” “Oh…I get it…” I leaned as far down as I could, pressing my face into the quilt, arching my back until it almost hurt, pushing my hips into the air. He guided my legs apart so that my pussy was…
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FPF Day 23 – Where the Magic Happens
I promised that the final days of this year’s February PhotoFest would include things and places that were important to me. It would be a serious fail on my part to leave out this place: my desk. I found this old “principal’s” desk at a second-hand furniture shop years ago…the same place I found my banker’s chair a few years later. I collaged the top of the desk (which took ages) and then covered it with glass. These days, the cats take up more room on my desk than anything else, so I finally gave in and just put their beds there.
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FPF Day 22 – Red Wine and Carrion
“One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” ― Charles Baudelaire I’ll admit that I like more than red wine. In fact, I like gin and tonics, margaritas (on the rocks), champagne, cider, and beer. But…red wine has been a favorite, and a staple, for a long time. When I went to college (years and years ago), I was pretty much a light beer drinker. I didn’t know a lot about alcohol, other than I liked how it made me feel. A boyfriend I had in college helped me to learn about wine, and eventually,…
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FPF Day 21 – Handfuls
Before I got pregnant, I had smallish breasts (As until I gained enough weight to finally earn myself some Bs). I could easily get away with wearing no bra, even going out in public. It made wearing spaghetti straps and dresses that required no bra pretty easy, even though I was much too conservative in my style to wear such things in public then anyway. Now, 12 years after that pregnancy, I have pleasant Cs. But they do “weird” things. Depending on how warm or cold I am or how turned on, sometimes they sag a bit, and other times they are full and sit high. Regardless of their condition,…
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FPF Day 20 (and LiFE) – “Purple”
I’m not sure which is my favorite, red or purple (aside from black, that is). Against my skin, jewel tones are pretty much the only way to go, otherwise, I just look washed out…or worse, dead. And that’s not sexy. This little number that I ordered from Yandy, though, is pretty great. It fits well and is comfortable, which I can’t say of most lingerie. Back when I ordered several of these outfits for Mr. D, making sure to pick up several with garter straps and thigh highs, since that is a love of his, I ended up with a few that just could not be worn. The drawback of plus-sized lingerie is…
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FPF Day 19 – “In Bed”
I woke up this morning and got ready…but something just didn’t feel right. I got in the car and drove to work…but I began to feel dizzy and light-headed. Not the best conditions for driving, I know. And finding someone to sub for me on such short notice wasn’t easy. But I managed, came back home, had some toast to settle my stomach, and went back to bed…for hours. This is me, upon wake-up, the sun shining in telling me it’s ridiculous to still be sleeping at this hour…after all, I have things to do. But those things can wait, yet another day. And this had better just be a fluke. I don’t have…
