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Life outside my comfort zone
One of my major goals this year is being more vulnerable. Not in the sense of being weak, but in the sense of being open. Letting go, following His direction better with full trust, and trying new things. And I feel like I’m doing a decent job at this. Not only have I had to be much more vulnerable at work, given our move toward social/emotional support, I’ve been going back to school myself, to prepare for a rather big shift in my career. Last week, I also decided to apply for a new position that would make it difficult to turn back. It’s once of those “two roads diverged…
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Growing together in harmony = Good communication
Continuing on the heels of yesterday’s post, our three-way chat conversation continued, and I think we all navigated it pretty well. It’s hard to have complex “human dynamic” negotiations (especially those that are sexual in nature) without being face to face, seeing body language, being able to quickly gauge tone or emotion. And obviously, more of this will be done when we actually are in the same room. But some “figuring out” of what is expected, who will do what, how, and when, has to come before seeing each other in real life. That’s how we decide if meeting is even something we want to do. And it’s the biggest…
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Being honest about desire and sexual growth
I’ve never been good at asking for what I want (sexually or otherwise). Even after 15 years of marriage and 12 years of sex-blogging, I’m shit at putting my desires into words in the moment…to another human’s actual face. A desire hits me, but I choke it back. Is it because I’m unsure? Or because I don’t want to be vulnerable and admit that I want something? Or do I not want to be a bother? I don’t even bring up non-sexual things I want to do…shows I want to watch, plans I want to make. So, it’s really just part of my personality. He asks, What do you want to…
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School Girl
It’s a super common fantasy, eh? Which is why I’m sure it was the costume that showed up in our month fantasy subscription box (The Fantasy Box). I’ve been pretty please with the lingerie that has been in these boxes. I’m not a small girl, and every piece has been well-made and flattering for my size and figure. This one was pretty adorable. It even came equipped with a rainbow lollipop and a clapping soft paddle with hearts on it. He told me to bend over the bed, pulled my panties aside, and thrust into me a few times, before he took several cracks at my ass with the paddle.…
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Rico: Our New Sex Doll
Oh, Rico. I would have passed you by in a bar, told you no if you’d tried to pick me up in the supermarket…I mean…you’ve got lovely 16-pack abs, and you’re all sorts of soft a squishy, but the lack of a head…or legs…or even a back? Well…not really my type. So, yeah, I never thought I’d be interested in someone like you. But when Tantaly offered me a free ride, I figured, what the hell, right? I’ll try most anything once. Of course, it started with a contact on my blog…a request for a review. I’d never heard of Tantaly, but I’ve been out of the review biz for…
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What’s your fantasy language?
Awhile back, I did a post on The 3 Things Almost Everyone Fantasizes About, and I promised to come back to the topic and cover the other types of fantasies that are most common, based on the study done for the April book pick Tell Me What You Want. These last four are tied together by the theme “breaking the rules”: taboo & forbidden sex, swinging/partner sharing/polyamory, intimacy/romance/passion, and homoeroticism & gender-bending. Intimacy, Romance, and Passion I’m going to start with intimacy, romance, and passion, because this was my #1. Sadly, it was Mr. D’s #5, which is one of the problems we’ve struggled with over the course of our…
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3 things almost everyone fantasizes about
Recently, I reflected on the first chapter of Justin Lehmiller’s Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. My focus was the seven major categories of fantasy for Americans; I rated those categories top to bottom for myself and then had my Husband do the same, for comparison’s sake. We found a fair amount of difference, which I plan to tackle in this post and few upcoming posts. Chapter two goes into greater detail on the top 3 categories, the most popular being Multi-partner sex, followed by Power, control, and rough sex, and then by Novelty, adventure, and…
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Date Night & Sex Therapy
I came home from work on Friday (a bit early, which was a nice way to end my week), greeted my Husband. He greeted me back, and before I could sit down or begin futzing around the house, as is my usual habit, He told me to follow Him into the bathroom. Instantly, my brain shifted from work mode to submissive mode. (Funny how all it takes is a command…a look…a tone or inflection, at least when we’re in tune with each other.) He directed me to lay down near the bathtub (I thought to myself, this is an odd place to fuck…but okay), close my eyes, and spread my…
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Tell Me What You Want
I’ve been reading a rather interesting study on American sexual desire titled Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How it Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life by Justin Lehmiller, PhD. There are 8 intriguing chapters in this book, and since fantasy is at the root of our sex therapy work right now, I think it might be useful to take this one a chapter at a time and do a bit of personal reflection on it. Chapter One This chapter is mainly about the survey that Lehmiller bases much of his theories on. It’s a valuable chapter, though, as it clearly states his definition…
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Two Truths and a Lie
We’re going to do this “two truths and a lie” style…for fun, and in honor of this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt. Below, I have described three possible scenarios. Two of them are situations I’d love to play out with my Dom, and one is not. Which do you think is the “lie”? One I come home from work to find a dress, stockings, and heels put out for me to wear, along with a note that says be ready in 30 minutes. When I pick up the dress, I find a remote control wearable vibrator, a butt plug, and tiny nipple clamps underneath. The night consists of visiting several different…
