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Restructuring
So we finally talked this morning, to reestablish our ground rules and boundaries. He began with, tell me what you’re willing to do. It was one way to start. But I opted to turn it around, in an attempt to keep him from editing his desires to accommodate mine. What do you want? We agreed that a D/s foundation is good for us both. He is a better person when he feels his Dominance is strong and respected. It fuels his self-esteem and makes him a happier human. I DO struggle with submission. Not gonna lie…I’m not a natural submissive, but I AM and always have been the more submissive…
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Prayer
I’m not an especially religious sort, but I do pray from time to time. I guess it’s more of a sending out of intentions or energy, or a request for strength or guidance in times of confusion or frustration or despair, rather than a conversation with a God. Though I suppose I’ve had plenty of those, too, over the years. Prayer to me is contemplation, so in many ways, what I do here is prayer. I throw my thoughts out to the universe, and sometimes the universe talks back. Prayer was the topic for today’s #SubmissiveAdvent. The entry for today provides this: Allow me the strength to answer questions I…
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Submissive Triggers
#SubmissiveAdvent It doesn’t take much for Him to trigger the submissive in me, no matter how deeply buried she is, or how resistant…because let me be honest: I am usually a very resistant sub. I’m not going to go into the reasons why right now. That’s bot the focus of today’s consideration, which is what switches the submissive (or Dominant) on for you? I hesitate to use the word trigger, because we’ve given that word an entirely different and negative context, but that is really what I’m talking about. What triggers feelings of submission/Dominance? What puts us in that headspace? While being in good physical, emotional, and mental condition is helpful, it…
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The Submissive’s Advent Calendar
I’ve been out of the blogging habit, but true to my cycle, it is nearly December, and the itch to write is building again. Things have settled at work, routines have been created, and I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the 2021 tunnel. I’ve even gotten Flash Fiction Friday back up and running, and I’ve submitted a Christmas-themed story to Tantalizing Tales. I even made the November cut-off with a piece of supernatural erotica. I’m working on my new theme for the year: Do less, better. In response, I’ve simplified my blog, pared down my projects. What you see is what you get. The only meme…
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The Spoon (a tale of forgone punishment)
So I hate punishment. I’ve written about it before…the fact that I hate it, juxtaposed against the fact that I feel it can be necessary, anyway, in a D/s dynamic…and how my theoretical understanding of it never seems to match up to reality when I’m faced with it out of the blue. Here are a few earlier posts about it, because I don’t really feel a need to rehash things, since my feelings and opinions regarding punishment haven’t changed any: Discipline, Punishment, and Correction in a D/s Relationship 24/7 D/s (Weaknesses & First Punishment) Punishment’s Emerging Role in our Relationship So, why write about it again? Because I freaked out about…
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Life outside my comfort zone
One of my major goals this year is being more vulnerable. Not in the sense of being weak, but in the sense of being open. Letting go, following His direction better with full trust, and trying new things. And I feel like I’m doing a decent job at this. Not only have I had to be much more vulnerable at work, given our move toward social/emotional support, I’ve been going back to school myself, to prepare for a rather big shift in my career. Last week, I also decided to apply for a new position that would make it difficult to turn back. It’s once of those “two roads diverged…
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Growing together in harmony = Good communication
Continuing on the heels of yesterday’s post, our three-way chat conversation continued, and I think we all navigated it pretty well. It’s hard to have complex “human dynamic” negotiations (especially those that are sexual in nature) without being face to face, seeing body language, being able to quickly gauge tone or emotion. And obviously, more of this will be done when we actually are in the same room. But some “figuring out” of what is expected, who will do what, how, and when, has to come before seeing each other in real life. That’s how we decide if meeting is even something we want to do. And it’s the biggest…
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Initiating sex (active submission)
I’ve never been much good at initiating sex or being very creative about it. But, as I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’ve been pretty horny recently (don’t know if there is some special alignment of the planets I’m unaware of…or maybe the world is coming to an end…), so I’ve been taking advantage of that feeling to step out of my comfort zone a bit and ask for things when I want them. For example, I woke Him up with a blow job the other day, when normally I would have stifled that feeling and gone about getting ready for work. I would have talked myself out of it…told myself…
