Here are the prompts (no frills or explanations…take them for what they are–seeds for introspective writing).
I’ll post them a week or two at a time for those who aren’t on Instagram. Current month is at the top.
June 2022 – Exploring How Culture Shapes Sexuality
Jun 1, Wed: What were the first messages you received from your caregivers about sex?
Jun 2, Thu: How did you learn about sex as a child?
Jun 3, Fri: What were your first sexual experiences and how have they shaped your sexuality?
Jun 4, Sat: Review your week or catch up on past prompts.
Jun 5, Sun: Plan/preview your upcoming week or catch up on past prompts.
Jun 6, Mon: What impact religion, spirituality, or your belief system had on your sexuality?
Jun 7, Tue: What impact, if any, has literature had on your sexuality?
Jun 8, Tue: What impact, if any, has film/TV had on your sexuality?
Jun 8, Wed: What impact, if any, has social media or the internet had on your sexuality?
Jun 9, Thu: What impact, if any, has art (visual or performance) had on your sexuality?
Jun 10, Fri: What impact, if any, has music had on your sexuality?
Jun 11, Sat: Review your week or catch up on past prompts.
Jun 12, Sun: Plan/preview your upcoming week or catch up on past prompts.
Jun 13, Mon: What messages about sex and sexuality ring loudest in your culture? How have these messages shaped your sexuality?
Jun 15, Tue: What impact, if any, have politics, government, or law had on your sexuality?
Jun 16, Wed: Are you public or private when it comes to your sexuality?
Jun 17, Thu: For better or worse, societies rely on language to label and categorize for collective understanding. How have labels helped or hindered you (and maybe others) from understanding your sexuality?
Jun 18, Fri: If you could talk to your younger self about sex and sexuality, what would you say? (Maybe write a letter?)
May 2022 – Exploring Self-Pleasure (May is National Masturbation Month)
May 1, Sun: What’s in store for May? You might create a masturbation challenge for yourself in honor of National Masturbation Month.
May 2, Mon: Masturbate mindfully, taking mental notes of how you touch yourself, what feels good, and your natural tendencies.
May 3, Tue: What is the goal of masturbation for you?
May 4, Wed: How do you feel about being watched while you masturbate?
May 5, Thu: Do you have a favorite toy or object that you use to masturbate, or do you just use your own body?
May 6, Fri: Where do you masturbate most often? And do you have environmental requirements?
May 7, Sat: Review the past week. Or catch up on past prompts.
“Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you’re with, but you can leave when you want to.” – Dudley Moore
May 8, Sun: plan the week ahead. Or catch up on past prompts
“It’s what I call mental masturbation, when you engage is some pointless intellectual exercise that has no possible meaning.” – Linus Torvalds
May 9, Mon: When do you masturbate?
May 10, Tue: Is there any element of ritual attached to masturbation for you? Do you need to set the mood for yourself, so to speak?
May 11, Wed: What visual stimulation (real or imagination) do you use when masturbating?
May 12, Thu: What audio stimulation (real or imagination) do you use when masturbating?
May 13, Fri: Is fantasy a part of masturbation for you?
May 14, Sat: Review the past week. Or catch up on past prompts.
“Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it’s a cure.” – Thomas Szasz
May 15, Sun: plan the week ahead. Or catch up on past prompts
“Physics is to mathematics what sex is to masturbation.” Richard Feynman
May 16 -20: Take this week to masturbate daily and journal about it. How do you feel before, during, after? What happens in your body? Your mind? What feels natural? Try not to judge. Think of this as part of your self-care routine. Do this for you and nobody else.
May 21, Sat: Review and reflect on the past week and what you learned…challenges, successes…
May 22, Sun: Plan for the upcoming week. Remember, you can also use the weekends to catch up on past prompts.
May 23, Mon: When did you discover self-pleasure? Describe your earliest memory involving masturbation.
May 24, Tue: When you first learned about masturbation from others (parents, friends, media), what message did you receive?
May 25, Wed: Many people have a go to for quick release…what is yours? If you don’t have one or can’t reach a quick orgasm, explore that.
May 26, Thu: How do you feel about edging when masturbating?
May 27, Fri: Have you ever engaged in mutual masturbation? What are your feelings about it?
May 28, Sat: Review and reflect on the past month and what you learned. How does masturbation fit into your life? What is its purpose?
May 29, Sun: Plan for the upcoming month. In June we’ll be exploring how culture influences our sexuality. (Remember, you can also use the weekends to catch up on past prompts.)
May 30, Mon: What is your favorite masturbation memory?
May 31, Tue: What emotions or opinions do you connect with masturbation?
And….that’s a wrap, folks….but keep on playing with yourselves. It’s fun…and it’s good for you!
April 2022 – Exploring Sensuality
This month, it’s all about creating the right environment to help inspire our desire.
Apr 1, Fri: What smells do you find most sensual, sexy, or erotic? Find a way to incorporate more of those into your environment (your car, your bedroom, your desk at work…wherever you could use the inspiration).
Apr 2, Sat: Relax. Find a drink the smells amazing and tastes even better. Take a moment to review your week. What did you learn? What challenges did you face? What made you feel good?
Apr 3, Sun: Put on something that feels delicious against your skin. Take a few minutes to plan out the coming week. What will you do better? How will you move toward your goals? What changes will you make?
Apr 4, Mon: What textures, fabrics, and sensations do you prefer against your skin?
Apr 5, Tues: What scents make you stop and close your eyes to fully inhabit them?
Apr 6, Wed: What foods or drinks do you crave? Do you find any to be aphrodisiacs for you?
Apr 7, Thu: If money were no object, and you could design the perfect, sensual paradise for your master bed and bath (or whole home), What would it be like?
Apr 8, Fri: Really look at your partner or lover or self (or consider a past lover). What do you find the most inspiring about their/your physical being?
Apr 9, Sat: Review the week. What went well? What challenged you? What did you learn?
Apr 10, Sun: Preview and plan the week ahead? List 5 things you will do or add to your life that will make it more sensual and erotic.
Apr 11, Mon: “Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. The best thing is living seductively; which is about finding new ways to make the same person fall for you daily.” ― Lebo Grand, Sensual Lifestyle
Apr 12, Tue: create two columns. On the left, write down your immediate associations of the word “love”. Consider these prompts: “When I think of love, I think of…” “When I love I feel…” “When I am loved I feel…” “In love, I look for…”
Apr 13, Wed: Continued from yesterday – write your answers to these prompts on the right-hand side: “When I think of sex I think…” “When I desire, I feel…” “When I am desired, I feel…” “In sex, I look for…”
Apr 14, Thu: Continued from yesterday – look at the two columns. What are your take-aways? What do you notice?
Apr 16, Sat: week-in-review
Apr 17, Sun: plan next week
Apr 18, Mon: Make a list of all the things that bring you pleasure. How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life? Put them on your calendar! “Pleasure exists in spaciousness, and we need to prioritize it daily.” (Laura Ellen)
Apr 19, Tue: Listen to this podcast episode. Then reflect on how you can prioritize pleasure.
Apr 20, Wed: Read this article and reflect.
Apr 21, Thu: Read this blog post and reflect.
Apr 22, Fri: Read this and reflect.
Apr 23, Sat: week-in-review
Apr 24, Sun: plan next week
Apr 25, Mon: Read this and reflect.
Apr 26, Tue: Read this and reflect.
Apr 27, Wed: Soft or Hard? Cold or Hot?
Apr 28, Thu: Loud or Quiet? Fast or Slow?
Apr 29, Fri: Sweet or Salty? Mild or Spicy?
Apr 30, Sat: Month-in-review
March 2022 – 31 Questions Exploring Sex, Romance, and Intimacy
This month, let’s explore the topics of sex, romance, and intimacy im the context of a relationship. Below, you’ll find one question for each day. Skip around, modify as necessary to match your current circumstances, and build in time for weekend reviews and planning ahead.
- Write about how you and your partner (or a past partner) first met. Or simply consider what you hope for in a first meeting? An added or alternate question might be: Do you believe in love at first sight?
- Journal about your first impressions of a current or past lover. What attracted you to this person?
- List the first 20 words that come to mind when you hear the word “sexy.”
- Write about a sexual experience you would like to have. Why would you enjoy it?
- How do you define intimacy, and how do you enjoy being intimate with your partner? What importance does intimacy have in your relationships?
- List 10 things you enjoy about spending time with a/your partner.
- In what ways is your partner a good lover? Or what makes someone a good lover for/to you? In what ways are you a good lover? And what improvements or changes do you long for?
- What messages did your caregivers give you about intimacy, romance, and/or sex as a child? Which would you like to take with you and which would you like to leave behind?
- What props/toys would you consider taking to bed with you and your partner?
- What is missing from your intimate, romantic, and sexual life?
- What is your most tame sexual fantasy?
- What is your wildest sexual fantasy?
- What movie star or entertainer do you find the sexiest and why? Or maybe you’d rather focus on a scene or film instead of an actor?
- What are the sexiest qualities you admire in a mate?
- Recount the best sexual, intimate, and/or romantic experience you ever had with your partner. Or, focus on the most memorable experience in general. Why was it so good?
- What feels good, sexually, for you?
- When you think romantic love, you think (fill in the blank).
- What does romance mean to you?
- What turns you on the most about your partner?
- What is your favorite time of day or night to make love? Why?
- List 10 words that come to mind when you think of a romantic evening with your partner.
- What words do you associate with the word “satisfaction?”
- In what ways do you trust your partner sexually?
- How could you and your partner improve your sex life?
- Is there something you and your partner used to do together that you don’t do anymore and miss? What is it? How could you start doing it again?
- How important is love when it comes to sex?
- Name the first 20 words that come to mind when you think of “relationship.”
- What prevents you and your partner from having the best sex possible?
- How has sex changed over time for you and your partner? What would you like to bring back? What would you like to leave in the past?
- What would make the sexiest roleplay experience? Write about what would be like. Have you had experiences like this before?
- What is sexy about your bedroom or home? Are there ways you could set a more romantic atmosphere?
February 2022 – Exploring Passion, Desire, and Joy
Feb 1 Tue – What are you passionate about?
Feb 2 Wed – What do you really need?
Feb 3 Thu – How do you keep yourself “in the moment”?
Feb 4 Fri – What makes you feel most free?
Feb 5 Sat – Week in review. “We must act out passion before we can feel it.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
Feb 6 Sun – Preview the coming week. “The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love. What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” – Pearl Bailey
Feb 7 Mon – What are you hungry for?
Feb 8 Tue – What brings you joy?
Feb 9 Wed – What turns you on?
Feb 10 Thu – What turns you off?
Feb 11 Fri – What do you seek in others?
Feb 12 Sat – Week in review. “To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” ―
Feb 13 Sun – Preview the coming week. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ―
Feb 14 Mon – Valentine’s Day
Feb 15 Tue – If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.
Feb 16 Wed – Finding wonder in the ordinary: “If we could see the miracle of a single flower, our whole life would change.” – Buddha
Feb 17 Thu – Do you save certain things for special occasions? Impose limits? Create boundaries? Tell yourself no?
Feb 18 Fri – When have you felt the most free, sexually? Explore that.
Feb 19 Sat – Reflect on the week.
Feb 20 Sun – Plan ahead for the coming week.
It’s a week of quizzes! Each day, there’s a new link to a new quiz. I updated this as of 2/21, as the quiz I originally had selected was a bit “suspect.” I’ve tried to select quizzes that are research-based. If any of these don’t work for you, here are a few alternatives: Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus’s Sex Points Quiz (aimed at women), How’s Your Libido? (also aimed at women), another Gottman quiz – How Well Do You Connect Emotionally with Your Partner?, The Attachment Style Quiz, Sex Personality Test, That Sex Quiz
Feb 21 Mon – Love Language – The Love Languages have been around for a long time, so you may have already taken this quiz or read the book. It’s a classic.
Feb 22 Tue – John Gottman’s Love Quiz: What’s the State of Your Love Life?
Feb 24 Thu – Queendom’s Sex Personality Test
Feb 25 Fri – Sex Type Me
Feb 26 Sat – Reflect on the week.
Feb 27 Sun – Plan for the coming week.
Feb 28 Mon – “Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted; it is an intimate date with yourself.” ~Paul TP Wong
January 2022 – Laying the Foundation
Jan 1 – What feels good?
Jan 2 Sun – Reflect on the current state of your sex life and/or relationship(s).
Jan 3 Mon – “A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” – Lao-tzu
Jan 4 Tue – “What we are not changing we are choosing.” – David Richo
Jan 5 Wed – If your sex/love life had a theme song, what would it be?
Jan 6 Thu – Choose 3 words to describe the sex/love life you want.
Jan 7 Fri – Reflect on your “mistakes.”
Jan 8 Sat – Reflect on the week. What felt good? What went well? What needs work?
Jan 9 Sun – Plan ahead for the coming week. What is one thing you’d like to challenge yourself to do?
Jan 10 Mon – What’s your WORD for 2022?
Jan 11 Tue – “Never confuse action with movement.” – Ernest Hemingway
Jan 12 Wed – Lost & Found
Jan 13 Thu – List three things that appreciate about your lover, a past lover, or the lover you hope to have in the future.
Jan 14 Fri – “We create stories, and stories create us.” – Chinua Achebe
Jan 15 Sat – Reflect on the week. “Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.” – H.H. Williams
Jan 16 Sun – Plan ahead for the coming week. “Change occurs at the edges, without permission.” – Pattie Digh
Jan 17 Mon – “In the degree that we remember and retell our stories and create new ones, we become the authors, the authorities, of our own lives.” – Sam Keen
Jan 18 Tue – What do you need to say “yes” to more often?
Jan 19 Wed – What do you need to say “no” to?
Jan 20 Thu – What makes you uncomfortable?
Jan 21 Fri – “The moment one gives attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” – Henry Miller
Jan 22 Sat – Reflect on the week. We write to remember. We also write to learn, understand, notice patterns, and determine who and what we are–and who and what we yearn to be. “To understand is to perceive patterns.” – Isaiah Berlin
Jan 23 Sun – Plan ahead for the coming week. “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” – the Dalai Lama
Jan 24 Mon – Choose a quote or phrase that embodies you in some way.
Jan 25 Tue – If you could select a famous piece of art to be your “call sign” or to represent you in some way, which would it be, and why?
Jan 26 Wed – Reflect on the resource(s) that have taught you something important about your sex life, erotic/sensual self, or relationship(s). How have these resources helped, challenged, or changed you?
Jan 27 Thu – What kind of lover are you? The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Jan 28 Fri – What would you like to improve about yourself (especially relating to your sex/love life)?
Jan 29 Sat – Reflect on the month. What have you learned about yourself this month?
Jan 30 Sun – Plan ahead for the coming month. “Our task it to say a holy yes to the real things of our life.” – Natalie Goldberg
Jan 31 Mon – “Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.” – William James