Erotic Journal Challenge

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Finding my way back to good

    So I’ve been trying to improve my active submission this week. I’ve been lighting a candle when I get home in an effort to transition my brain from work day to home life (and, in effect, my role as sub). I’ll continue to hone this transitional ritual. After reflecting on my submissive identity, I also asked Mr. D if I could return to removing His boots when He gets home from work, which He seemed quite pleased with. It’s been a long time since I did this, and simply asking if I could do it was a step, since I’m terrible at asking for things that I want. I’m not…

  • My EJC Responses

    My perfect submissive

    There are many ways of being submissive, and the only thing that makes one more right or true than another is that it works for you and the person(s) with whom you share it. That being said, I often struggle with my own submission. It doesn’t always come easily. I can be contrary and moody, even downright disrespectful at times. But I’ve come to accept that this is not because I am a “bad submissive,” per se. It’s because I’m human. And we all fall short of our goals and expectations sometimes. There are certain qualities that I strive for. So let me describe the type of submissive I want to be, as a character…

  • My EJC Responses

    Submissives have needs, too

    “The paradox is that the needs of the master are not, in fact, superior to the needs of the submissive. Rather, they share equal importance.” – Kacie Cunningham All humans have basic needs: sustenance, rest, shelter, love and belonging. And most of us have needs for things like entertainment, purposeful work, and community. But each of us has specific needs. And within us, each of our parts has needs. For example, I have needs as a wife, as a mother, and as a friend. All of these needs are different…and some even contradict the needs of others parts. As a submissive, my needs are as follows: 1. I need to…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    When are you most aware of your own submission?

    I fell behind a bit when The Submissive Advent Calendar, but I’ve written down a few I skipped so that I could come back to them at a later time. This one in particular keeps niggling my brain: When are you most aware of being owned/submissive? At first, I wasn’t really sure, but these past few weeks, Mr. D has slowly been stepping back into his Dominant role, and both of us have wordlessly been reaching out to one another through little D/s actions. This is how I realized there are definitely a few things that immediately put me in a submissive headspace. All of them are simple, and yet…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses,  Photography

    My Submissive Identity

    It’s always good to reassess your goals, and this is usually the time of year a fair lot of us begin this process…in preparation for the new year. This has been, for the most part, a fairly unlikable year, and, as stated in earlier posts, it has led our marriage right into a dark pothole…one we seem to keep running into. We’re fine. Don’t worry. Sometimes hitting a pothole on a crappy road reminds you to either drive more carefully, find a new road, or get out a fix the damn potholes. Our method du jour is sex therapy, which is going well. And as such, it has reminded us,…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Active Submission

    There are many types of submission, and while I have a fairly good idea of what type/brand works best for me, there are also two styles: active and passive. Active submission entails acting/serving before one is asked to do anything. The submissive “actively” seeks out ways to serve their Dominant. Passive submission entails waiting for instruction and only doing/serving when and how one is told. Neither style is better than the other, and there are probably times and places where each is more appropriate. The relationship often determines the style that is expected. Related Post: What’s in a Name? (How D/s Labels Can Help Us Find Ourselves For me, passive…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Submission is its own reward

    We’re finding our way back. Slowly and by feel. It’s somewhat like wandering around a giant house at night looking for light switches. We’ve lived here a long time, and we know where all the obstacles are, though occasionally we stub our toes on things that have been added or left out of place. And even when we find the lights, sometimes the power is out and it does us no good. The light, too, has a particular quality. It can be glaring and flourescent…or soft and glowy. Sometimes it’s so dim it mimics dusk, shadows creeping in from every side. But we know, without seeing, how to find it.…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    It’s time to clean my dirty laundry

    I’m terrible about receiving compliments about my body, most often because I don’t believe them.  When someone says I look good or that I’m sexy, I have to stop, take that information and sort of choke it down before I offer up some sort of weak thank you amidst blushing and a downward glance. Unless I already believe what the person says to be true (like “your hair looks great today”), I bat off the compliment…or it actually serves to remind me of my perception of inadequacy and makes me feel bad about myself. How’s that for some twisted psychology? Over the past decade, I’ve gotten better at accepting my body, which…

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