My EJC Responses

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses

    A Holy Yes

    “Our task it to say a holy yes to the real things of our life.” Natalie Goldberg   We stayed up late talking. About us. And our relationship. And sex. It’s never a good idea, but the truth-serum, courage-inducing, emotion-heightening fog of alcohol and fatigue break down barriers and make us weak. Yes, we know, we’ve got a problem. But there is some good that comes of it sometimes. As long as we’ve held our tongues and said nothing outwardly combative, sometimes we uncover truths that have lain in darkness. In the couch, before bed, He said I don’t make my desires clear…that He wants to know what I want…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Goodbye January, Hello February!

    This month’s Erotic Journal Challenge prompts have been mainly about laying a foundation. Looking back, planning ahead, deciding what to focus on and what to let go of, what to say yes to and what to say no to. It’s given us an opportunity to define ourselves and consider what we want most. A few people have signed on and are doing some awesome reflections. If you are using the Erotic Journal Challenge in any way that you’d like to share, please feel welcome (but not obligated) to link up on the main EJC page. You can link a category/tag or you can link individual posts, whatever you prefer. You…

  • Blogging & Writing,  Experience,  My EJC Responses,  Photography

    The inevitable slow down…

    “Furious activity is not substitute for understanding.” H.H. Williams     Last week’s review/preview was overwhelming, I know. For you…and for me. But, that’s how beginnings tend to be for me…fast, furious, manic…full of energy and possibility and want. And then reality slows my roll, and I find the cracks, the crevices, and the things that must change for my plans to be sustainable. I don’t necessarily over-plan. I just plan more than is necessary so I have room to move and choose what fits best. Now that I’ve lived my plans for a few weeks, I am tailoring them to fit “just right.” It’s a journey I take repeatedly throughout…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses

    3 things I appreciate about my lover

    I know I haven’t been posting quite as regularly this past several days. It was a rough week. We had a fairly serious situation at work mid-week, and it took all my bandwidth to attend to it, both professionally and emotionally. I really just needed to disconnect when I got home in the evenings, and yesterday, I spent the afternoon binge-watching a TV show (which I rarely do on my own). I’m feeling stable and rested now, though. So, I’m sure this coming week will be better. I’ll be putting a review/preview post out later, probably tomorrow, since I’m off work. Better late than never, eh? But today, I wanted…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses,  Photography

    The Sex Life I Crave

    If I were to describe the sex life I’ve had in the past, the words I’d use would be all over the board. Vanilla/non-monogamous, safe/adventurous, unsatisfying/delicious, boring/mind-blowing. I’ve had all types of sex, in all kinds of situations, with many different people in the past 29 years. In my marriage, even, sex has worn many hats. It has been a positive force, a stress, an intimate connection, a creative process, an adventure, a weight…but always a journey. I expect that it will continue to be all of these things, and more, as we age together ungracefully, as we are most likely to do. I don’t want to put a ton…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses,  Photography

    State of the Union

    I’ve done a State of the Union post at the beginning of the year before. Just a description of where my sex life and marriage is today…to get the lay of the land, so to speak. It’s hard to decide where to go next if you aren’t fully aware of where you are now and where you’ve been…and we’ve been a lot of places. Currently, we’re getting back on the horse, after a long stint of slowly falling apart. I’ve only recently reviewed that, so I won’t rehash it here. But, we are currently doing okay 👍. We’ve had sex a few times (instigated from both sides) and have agreed…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  My EJC Responses

    What Feels Good?

    Anyone who follows Yoga With Adriene will recognize this saying and Benji the blue heeler. Let’s just say I’m a fan of all three…the yoga, the thought, and the dog. Hence, I had to have the t-shirt.     I’m still not back to work yet, which means, I’m still avoiding bras and real pants. Occasionally, though, I head out for an *adventure* to the post office or the grocery store. Today, it’s the nail salon. So this is as close to a real bra as I’m getting.     And, of course, yoga pants…and my insulated, waterproof Bogs, because SNOW ❄. *** Comfort is the name of the game…

  • Experience,  My EJC Responses

    The precipice…

    Big deep breath in… This post may go everywhere, and I’m going to let it. *** Awhile back, I considered writing a post called, “What my cats have taught me about polyamory.” The idea was that, I have two cats, whom I love dearly…but they hate each other. I am constantly telling them (yes, I talk to them) that I love them both equally, and I can’t understand why they won’t see that. But, their jealousy remains, green between us. The funny thing is, one will burrow under a blanket and snuggle up next to me, while the other sits on my lap. They both know the other is there,…

  • Books & Reading,  Experience,  My EJC Responses,  Opinion

    What’s your fantasy language?

    Awhile back, I did a post on The 3 Things Almost Everyone Fantasizes About, and I promised to come back to the topic and cover the other types of fantasies that are most common, based on the study done for the April book pick Tell Me What You Want. These last four are tied together by the theme “breaking the rules”: taboo & forbidden sex, swinging/partner sharing/polyamory, intimacy/romance/passion, and homoeroticism & gender-bending. Intimacy, Romance, and Passion I’m going to start with intimacy, romance, and passion, because this was my #1. Sadly, it was Mr. D’s #5, which is one of the problems we’ve struggled with over the course of our…

  • My EJC Responses

    The State of Our Sexual Union

    From wikipedia: The State of the Union Address (sometimes abbreviated to SOTU) is an annual message[1] delivered by the president of the United States to the U.S. Congress near the beginning of each calendar year on the current condition of the nation.[2] The message typically includes reports on the nation’s budget, economy, news, agenda, achievements and the president’s priorities and legislative proposals.[3] At the end of January, I did a post called Sex Stats that included some of this same info. The State of Our Sexual Union is stronger than it has been in some time. Statistics from last year show that we had sex a total of 50 times over the course of twelve months, with two months being…

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