30 Dirty Questions
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An end-of-month update
Well, I managed 21 posts this month. And though I didn’t answer all of my 30 Dirty Questions, I posted more this month than I normally do, so I’d still call #EROBLOPOMO a success. I plan to leave the 30 Dirty Questions up (linked in my projects), for future reference, so if you didn’t partake this month and would like to do them at another time, they will still be there. There is no reason you have to do them in one month and no particular set order, so use them as you please. The end of my month sort of got away from me. Our fridge went out, Thanksgiving…
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The most daring thing I’ve done…
Honestly, the most daring sexual activities I’ve ever gotten up to have happened as a result of swinging. Meeting people online, fucking on the first “date,” having sex in front of others…even out in the open where groups of people could just walk by and have an eyeful, naked hot tub time, group co-ed showers. It was really the open and wild sexual time in my life. There were things I liked about it and things I really hated about it. I had good experiences and bad. So for this question from 30 Dirty Questions, I’m providing a list of 5 old posts that take you back to our swinging…
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The look (and sound) of good sex…
I once had someone tell me I had the best “sex face” and that I made the best noises during sex. I’m not so sure. I’ve seen my face in the mirror, both while masturbating and while being fucked from behind over the bathroom counter. I, personally, think I look like I’m having a stroke. But then, I’m not a guy, and since I mostly fuck guys, one in particular, I guess what constitutes “good” isn’t really up to me. “Beauty” is, after all, in the eye of the beholder. Maybe it’s just because I give a good show (not that I’m faking…I can’t, and don’t, consider my facial expressions…
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Love Languages and Sex
It’s been awhile since I took the Love Languages quiz, so I retook it for this post, and found that my results have changed a bit over the past few years. The last time I took this quiz, my top result was “Quality Time,” but probably due to experience, it has shifted to “Acts of Service.” (Which is kind of funny, since I’m supposed to be the submissive in this relationship.) Here’s what the site had to say about this particular result: “Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will…
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Fantasies, Dreams, and Kink
We all have proclivities, preferences, and prejudices…things we are drawn to, things that make us turn away or even disgust us. What do you tend to fantasize or dream about when it comes to sex? What kinds of porn or kink are you drawn to? What turns you off? For me… Fantasies I fantasize about things that are romantic and passionate and that involve a lot of touching and kissing and creative foreplay. And, I’ll be honest, I’m usually at the center of my fantasies, receiving, rather than giving…having things done to me or for me. For example, a fantasy of mine is to be bathed and rubbed and lotioned and fucked slowly and sensually…
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What are your sexual fears?
I’m sort of like a feral cat when it comes to new sexual experiences. I have to be lured, convinced, prodded, bribed. But then, I’m sort of hard-wired to be suspicious of change and newness in all regards. I’m a fan of comfort, planning, and knowing what to expect (which is why we both get so bored in the bedroom and why our sex life has become so dull). That’s not to say that I don’t love a surprise from time to time. Presents are lovely. But a surprise party? Nope. That would do this introvert in. Surprising me with a multi-partner sexual experience? Terror. Putting me in any new…
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So, we have a sex therapist now…
And the first session was actually surprisingly good. I’ll be honest, after 4 crummy marriage counselors who just didn’t get us, it was refreshing to have one who had no trouble focusing on our problem, rather than “attachment issues.” We are plenty “attached.” But we do have issues with trust, resentment, communication, libido, and intimacy. And this guy grabbed those things right away in our individual sessions with some very pointed questions. He then used our joint session to craft a plan of attack. As a type A girl who loves lists and productivity, I was happy to leave with a collection of things to do over the two weeks…
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What do you want more of?
Fingers entwined, holding each other on the couch, snuggling into your warmth, periodically kissing your bicep, breathing you in like a drug…that heady spin I get from a deep inhalation of your scent. Your arms wrapped around me at the end of the day, taking me in, blocking the world out…my cheek against your shoulder, or buried in your neck. Kisses held longer, at times no one expects…right before I leave for work, your tongue chasing mine, your hands on my breasts, on my cunt. Time alone, exploring each other’s souls and skin. Your hand twisted up in my hair, pulling…holding me down…words spoken hungrily through clenched teeth…your eyes, unblinking,…
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If I could go back and do it again…
Oh, I would. Those early days with my husband were so primal and I was so utterly smitten from the start. I spent the majority of my time, heart racing, body tingling, in a fog of blissful, sexually-tinged euphoria. So when our sex therapist (yes, we have one of those now) told us that one thing we needed to change was our perception of each other as man and wife, and rather, go back to seeing ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend, it sort of made sense. Those were, after all, the carefree days of “new” and “exciting”. They days when we were trying to impress one another, working to keep…
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Last Night
This poem’s structure was borrowed from Mary Oliver’s poem Gratitude. Last Night What did you notice? The dim light from the nightstand lamp created a spotlight effect holding us in a full moon on the stage of our bed. The rest of the world became darkness, shadowed corners like faceless voyeurs silently watching. What did you hear? My own breath in my chest, filling my ears like the rushing of water. The soft things you said, “I love all of this,” as you identified all of the parts of me that I struggle to love myself. What did you admire? The strength of your vulnerability, how you exposed yourself and…
