Experience
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How I knew I was kinky…
Well, first of all, I’m not positive I’d label myself “kinky,” but then, in the grand scheme, if I were to measure myself against the sexual proclivities of others, I likely am. So here goes. The First Taste of Pain When I was somewhere around 17, I had a boyfriend with that skinny, doped out rocker look. He was what I would describe as being “ugly cute”…some combination of Steven Tyler and Keith Richards…with a little Rod Stewart to slow things down. But something about him drew me in. He wasn’t at all the “manly” type. He was thin and tall and soft spoken. We smoked a lot of…
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Showing Up
This is one of those quotes I come back to and consider in various capacities of my life. It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again… who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. The…
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Not measuring up…
I’ll warn you now, this is really just a boring self-accountability post. Nothing sexy here. Just thinking on the page. It won’t hurt my feelings if you duck out now. In fact, I won’t even notice. Last week’s review/preview was titled “The inevitable slowdown,” and this week, I find myself feeling like I’m simply not measuring up. So, I spent a few hours reflecting on what is working and what isn’t working in my life right now. “To understand is to perceive patterns.” Isaiah Berlin In the course of my reflection, I realized that breaks set me up for unrealistic expectations. For example, over my winter holiday, I…
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Yes and No
“In the degree that we remember and retell our stories and create new ones, we become the authors, the authorities, of our own lives.” – Sam Keen I think about the purpose of writing quite often. To communicate, to document, to keep track. Those are the obvious ones. When I wrote my masters thesis, a large part of my focus was “writing to learn.” That is often what I think journaling is all about…or at least what I believe it should be about. Not just documenting what happens, but digging. Writing until we uncover. Processing things as we go. Finding out what we think by writing our way there.…
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The inevitable slow down…
“Furious activity is not substitute for understanding.” H.H. Williams Last week’s review/preview was overwhelming, I know. For you…and for me. But, that’s how beginnings tend to be for me…fast, furious, manic…full of energy and possibility and want. And then reality slows my roll, and I find the cracks, the crevices, and the things that must change for my plans to be sustainable. I don’t necessarily over-plan. I just plan more than is necessary so I have room to move and choose what fits best. Now that I’ve lived my plans for a few weeks, I am tailoring them to fit “just right.” It’s a journey I take repeatedly throughout…
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3 things I appreciate about my lover
I know I haven’t been posting quite as regularly this past several days. It was a rough week. We had a fairly serious situation at work mid-week, and it took all my bandwidth to attend to it, both professionally and emotionally. I really just needed to disconnect when I got home in the evenings, and yesterday, I spent the afternoon binge-watching a TV show (which I rarely do on my own). I’m feeling stable and rested now, though. So, I’m sure this coming week will be better. I’ll be putting a review/preview post out later, probably tomorrow, since I’m off work. Better late than never, eh? But today, I wanted…
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Consistent
My word for this year is CONSISTENT. It’s not a terribly creative word. Not very touchy-feely either like my last one…Vulnerability. But it’s where I’m at. I have a tendency to cycle, in pretty much ever facet of my life. I start things and don’t finish, I commit to things and give up. Sometimes, that is honestly okay. Not everything in life must be completed. In fact, sometimes it makes good sense to drop things or walk away. But a few areas in my life deserve more from me. And those are the places where I need to apply a more dedicated mindset. Never confuse action with movement.…
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The Sex Life I Crave
If I were to describe the sex life I’ve had in the past, the words I’d use would be all over the board. Vanilla/non-monogamous, safe/adventurous, unsatisfying/delicious, boring/mind-blowing. I’ve had all types of sex, in all kinds of situations, with many different people in the past 29 years. In my marriage, even, sex has worn many hats. It has been a positive force, a stress, an intimate connection, a creative process, an adventure, a weight…but always a journey. I expect that it will continue to be all of these things, and more, as we age together ungracefully, as we are most likely to do. I don’t want to put a ton…
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A Journey of a Thousand Miles…
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” – Lao-tzu So, I’m planning on doing some weekly and monthly reviews here on the blog, to keep myself accountable to all those intentions/goals I set for myself, both for the blog and in my personal life. This is my first one. And it is super link-heavy. Accomplishments I’ve accomplished a lot on the blog this past week: My post “What Feels Good?” was selected in the Sinful Sunday round-up. I took part in TMI Tuesday for the 1st time in a long time. My post “Looking Back to Plan Forward” was selected for the Wicked…
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Threesome?
I’m coming back to the quote I shared yesterday… I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something. – Neil Gaiman …because it relates directly to a current opportunity. While I am not intending to make a mistakes, taking risks and trying new things can result in mistakes, and the fear of making mistakes can hold us back from even trying new things. Learning, pushing myself, sliding outside my…
