• 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    What Are Your Limits?

    This post is #9 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  I can be quite a bit more reserved in the sexual department than my husband…He’s a pretty adventurous guy. But even though I tend to go wide-eyed like a deer in headlights at some of the things He suggests the first time, it’s possible to ease me into most things over time. For example, I’ve come to quite enjoy anal sex…even though we call it “fight club” and therefore must not speak of it (mainly because it makes me…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Handling Negative Emotions in My D/s Relationship

    This post is #8 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  How do you deal with negative emotions? Negative emotions are part of being human.They aren’t all bad. In fact, they can be necessary to life…the litmus tests of our experience. Though some of us are better at handling them than others, I would not count myself among them. I have a tendency to do everything, emotionally, that I “shouldn’t.” I get angry, jealous, resentful, fearful, doubtful, etc., very easily, and I don’t come out of it quickly. I stew…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Is Confidence at the Root of Good Communication?

    This post is #7 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  According to Kayla Lords, sexblogger extraordinaire and facilitator of 30 Days of D/s  “The number one factor in whether your D/s relationship will succeed or fail is communication. Without it, you can’t build or keep trust, you can’t negotiate your kinks, and you can’t deal with problems.” And she is ever-so-correct. But, just like conflict, I’m not a great communicator or my needs, fears, vulnerabilities, or upsets. I have a tendency to feel embarrassed by my requests…even simple ones…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Conflict in a D/s Relationship

    This post is #6 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  I’ll just put this right out there: I am not good at handling conflict. I don’t like to feel conflicted and I don’t like discord with others. I don’t like disappointing myself or my superiors or loved ones. I don’t like fighting, arguing, debating. None of it. It puts my soul on edge. Saying No That being said, conflict within a D/s relationship is a sort of different beast, isn’t it? I mean, in areas of our life that don’t…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Discipline, Punishment, and Correction in a D/s Relationship

    This post is #5 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  The first question posited in today’s 30 Days of D/s prompt is: As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship? I find the question interesting, because I’d like to point out the word “allow.” I think that word is extremely important. Let me take a bit of a tangent for a moment to explain why. Today, while I was driving around running errands, the DJ on the radio was talking about…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Contracts & Negotiation in a D/s Relationship

    This post is #4 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  I was sort of dreading this topic, but I fully expected it to come up. I mean, it’s an integral part of a D/s relationship, so it makes sense. However… We had rules (see “My First Rules“), discipline (see “The Discipline Log“), and a contract (which I still have a copy of) years ago. I bucked against the boundaries constantly and had a difficult time with discipline. As we were fairly new at the whole thing, and maybe not…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    What’s in a Name? (How D/s Labels Can Help Us Find Ourselves)

    This post is #3 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  I totally get how negative labels can be, and I’m not about to say that labels can or should define us. But, labels can help us find and learn about things that we like or feel an affinity toward. Imagine how hard it would be to find out about our kinks if we just went out there on the internet searching for “kinks” and EVERYTHING came up. No. We need labels and categories to help us narrow things down, find information, and…

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