30 Days of D/s

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    It begins with an offering of submission

    This post is #14 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  It begins with an offering of submission. And …if a Dominant accepts… the ball begins to roll. We’ve been here before. But, as You have duly noted, my submission has yet to be fully… unconditionally offered. Consider this such… …here…                                                  …now… Because I’m ready to offer it all, every bit of my vulnerability and trust…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience

    Pain

    This post is #13 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Pain can beautiful. It can horrible, as well. And while, I wouldn’t say I’m a big fan of pain (I’m definitely not a masochist, though I have no judgement of those who are), I can say that there have been times when pain seemed to almost clear my vision or at least focus my senses in a way that was cathartic. The first time I realized pain could be enticing and sexual was when I was 17. In the…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    D/s Doesn’t Mean Leaving Vanilla Behind

    This post is #12 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Discussing my journey from “just vanilla” to D/s isn’t something new for this site. I’ve written many posts on this topic, several of which were compiled in this post. This post is the first I ever wrote about myself possibly being submissive. But, since the question is being asked for 30 Days of D/s, I guess I’ll go back and look at it from a fresh perspective. I’m a fan of vanilla. It’s my go-to latte flavor, and while…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Consent: The Difference Between Abuse and BDSM

    This post is #11 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Consent is the basis of any relationship, especially a D/s relationship. Without it, you don’t have D/s…you potentially have abuse. When a submissive gives permission for her mind and body to be controlled (in whatever ways have been agreed upon) by a Dominant, she is handing over this control because she trusts that He will have her best interests in mind, pushing her mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, or in whatever other way she (and He) feel she needs to…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    “Stop” is My Safe Word

    This post is #10 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  I’ve never had a safe word. Though I understand why people would want a safe word, especially in a BDSM scene or a situation of inflicting and receiving pain, I’ve just never felt a need for one…mainly because we really haven’t done anything warranting a safe word. Normally, I just say “stop” when I don’t like something or when I can’t handle it anymore. Sure, he’s pushed it past my “stop” (just a tiny bit) but 99% of the…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    What Are Your Limits?

    This post is #9 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  I can be quite a bit more reserved in the sexual department than my husband…He’s a pretty adventurous guy. But even though I tend to go wide-eyed like a deer in headlights at some of the things He suggests the first time, it’s possible to ease me into most things over time. For example, I’ve come to quite enjoy anal sex…even though we call it “fight club” and therefore must not speak of it (mainly because it makes me…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Handling Negative Emotions in My D/s Relationship

    This post is #8 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  How do you deal with negative emotions? Negative emotions are part of being human.They aren’t all bad. In fact, they can be necessary to life…the litmus tests of our experience. Though some of us are better at handling them than others, I would not count myself among them. I have a tendency to do everything, emotionally, that I “shouldn’t.” I get angry, jealous, resentful, fearful, doubtful, etc., very easily, and I don’t come out of it quickly. I stew…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Is Confidence at the Root of Good Communication?

    This post is #7 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  According to Kayla Lords, sexblogger extraordinaire and facilitator of 30 Days of D/s  “The number one factor in whether your D/s relationship will succeed or fail is communication. Without it, you can’t build or keep trust, you can’t negotiate your kinks, and you can’t deal with problems.” And she is ever-so-correct. But, just like conflict, I’m not a great communicator or my needs, fears, vulnerabilities, or upsets. I have a tendency to feel embarrassed by my requests…even simple ones…

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