30 Days of D/s

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    D/s Doesn’t Always (or Ever) Have to Be About Sex

    This post is #20 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Tonight, as I looked at my new workout video and talked out loud about what I need to do to really lose weight, I told Mr. D that it would help if he told me I had to do it…if he’d add a Saturday and Sunday workout to my rules. Snap. Done. Just like that. And yes, in my mind, it instantly became a “have to” rather than a “maybe I’ll give it a try.” When I have to ask to spend…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    When Sub Duties Become Irritating

    This post is #19 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  I forgot to mention this in yesterday’s post, so I decided to do an addendum post today rather than move on to the new topic. (As you can see, I’m taking my time with this and the 30 days will take me well in to May.) This is a tough topic, but I think it’s important to deal with in any discussion of 24/7 D/s. As subs, we’re not always going to be in the mood to comply with…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Real Life D/s

    This post is #18 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  D/s would be “easy” if we all lived in dungeons, didn’t have kids, and didn’t go to work. But, hey, we’re human and we do have kids and we do get sick and we work and sometimes we just aren’t fucking in the mood. That last one, I don’t really get a choice. (Mood doesn’t seem to be something Mr. D is really willing to let me get away with.) But, we spend a lot of time being parents and just being…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience

    Rules in My D/s Relationship

    This post is #17 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Friday night, He handed me an envelope. I felt a flutter of anticipation in my chest because I hoped it would be something to do with His expectations for me as His submissive, which it was. It began with a list of precepts. Precepts: I will obey His commands to the best of my ability. I will strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve Him and limit my…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    When the Dom’s Away, the sub Will…

    This post is #16 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Mr. D and I are not always together. We both work outside the home, and there are times when one or the other of us is out of town. So what will happen to our D/s dynamic when we’re apart? The feeling of being a submissive or a Dominant doesn’t just leave when the Dominant or submissive does. Our focus may shift. But our roles never change. Making this shift from being submissive (which happens on demand and when…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    How He Accepted My Submission

    This post is #15 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Yesterday, I wrote a post. In this post, I offered (formally and officially) my submission to my Husband. Those of you who follow on a regular basis, or even those who have done a bit of investigation on this site, know that we’ve attempted this twice before. And you also know that I recently explained that I am “not a submissive” but rather AM submissive. There’s a big difference between the two. Being submissive is a character trait, not…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    It begins with an offering of submission

    This post is #14 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  It begins with an offering of submission. And …if a Dominant accepts… the ball begins to roll. We’ve been here before. But, as You have duly noted, my submission has yet to be fully… unconditionally offered. Consider this such… …here…                                                  …now… Because I’m ready to offer it all, every bit of my vulnerability and trust…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience

    Pain

    This post is #13 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Pain can beautiful. It can horrible, as well. And while, I wouldn’t say I’m a big fan of pain (I’m definitely not a masochist, though I have no judgement of those who are), I can say that there have been times when pain seemed to almost clear my vision or at least focus my senses in a way that was cathartic. The first time I realized pain could be enticing and sexual was when I was 17. In the…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    D/s Doesn’t Mean Leaving Vanilla Behind

    This post is #12 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Discussing my journey from “just vanilla” to D/s isn’t something new for this site. I’ve written many posts on this topic, several of which were compiled in this post. This post is the first I ever wrote about myself possibly being submissive. But, since the question is being asked for 30 Days of D/s, I guess I’ll go back and look at it from a fresh perspective. I’m a fan of vanilla. It’s my go-to latte flavor, and while…

  • 30 Days of D/s,  Experience,  Opinion

    Consent: The Difference Between Abuse and BDSM

    This post is #11 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.  Consent is the basis of any relationship, especially a D/s relationship. Without it, you don’t have D/s…you potentially have abuse. When a submissive gives permission for her mind and body to be controlled (in whatever ways have been agreed upon) by a Dominant, she is handing over this control because she trusts that He will have her best interests in mind, pushing her mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, or in whatever other way she (and He) feel she needs to…

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