Experience

  • Experience

    I did a thing…

    For those of you who know me, you already know that I’ve been working on a 2nd advanced degree. This entailed doing an on-the-job internship while also holding (and creating from the ground up) a new position. I’m not bragging. In fact, I think I’m just now realizing, as I ascend from the depths of exhaustion, that I was holding on by a thread. It was a hard year. I gave it my all, as I always do, and I did a good job. But then summer break hit, and I went numb for a few weeks. And then I just stayed submerged, in the quiet. I did very little…

  • Experience

    It’s been a minute

    I’m still not sure if I’m ever coming back to this place. Sometimes I feel a pull, but it’s hard to say if that pull is a legitimate desire to write or a feeling that I should…because someone else believes that. I know it worries my husband when I give up writing. He sees it as a sign of something ominous. A mental shift that will not only impact me…but him, as well. Sometimes, I want to write. A short story. A poem. A journal entry. But then I pick up the pen or open my laptop, and I feel my throat close up and my heart rate increase. So…

  • Experience,  Opinion

    I like my sex like I like my food…

      I was perusing Twitter this morning and came across this tweet from Jayne Renault. I love it. And it got me thinking this morning. Metaphorically speaking…I like a little spice. And, no surprise, Mr. D likes more heat than I do. I prefer comfort food over exotic cuisine. American and Western European dishes over Asian or Indian or Middle Eastern or…. It doesn’t mean I won’t try those things…or even enjoy them for what they are. I can appreciate something, yet not want to add it as part of my everyday menu. And when it comes right down to it, I’m not a huge fan of change. I order…

  • Experience,  Opinion

    Love can only get us so far…

    Mr. D and I are a bit disconnected right now. Not in trouble…but certainly not on our A-game. Sometimes it’s like that. We lose touch a bit in the din of day-to-day. A common issue for long-term relationships, especially those where children and high-stress careers are involved. For me, the distraction is usually work. It pushes my levels of stress and wears me out physically, mentally, and emotionally. Add to that the pressures of a graduate program, parenting responsibilities, and by evening I have little left to give. I’ve hit my 2nd bout of exhaustion for the school year. I’ll likely hit one more by the end. Nothing new, but…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses

    The Erotic Blueprint

    But then, maybe that’s because I’ve already done quite a bit of reflection when it comes to my sexuality. I know I’ve still got a lot to learn, though. That’s the beauty and fun of sexuality…there’s always more to uncover and more to experience. We change as we grow older. Our partners change, too. And so the landscape is, much like the real land, always in a state of becoming. Sure there are certain recognizable features, things that return or remain steadfast. But, there is always something that has been overlooked, something new that has grown while weren’t paying attention. Why, just yesterday, I went into the yard and found…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Setting boundaries (for the blog) and making plans (for the EJC)

    I’ve been struggling, I’ll be honest. My motivation and energy have been low. My libido has been asleep. I’ve basically been hibernating and working on autopilot. I mean…I know that I do this, but it’s hard not to judge myself and be hard on myself…like…fucking get your head out, already…you’ve got shit to do…you’ve made commitments…you’ve got projects…and you’re failing at them…and you just keep getting stuck in this cycle. That’s how kind my inside voice is. And she’s right. I haven’t finished a book this year, even though I said I’d read at least one per month. I kind of bailed on The 💯 Story Challenge this past week.…

  • Experience

    What do you seek in others (turn-ons & turn-offs)?

    My top 5 turn-ons Intelligence, humor, confidence, compassion, and sexual dominance (though I’m a bigger fan of soft dominance than hard)…these are all characteristics I am drawn to. Intelligence: I seek those who seek knowledge. Those who continue to learn and aim to better themselves. Not the know-it-all or the arrogant ass, but the one we all go to for feedback, advice, honesty…answers. The one we know we can trust to tell us the truth, even when it’s hard. The one who knows more than we’d guess. The one we’d want on our Trivial Pursuit team. Humor: If I can’t laugh with you, my relationship with you isn’t likely to…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses

    Finding joy

    Joy is a slippery emotion. I’ll be honest, while I’d consider myself content most of the time these days (it’s been a blissfully long time since I had a truly low and lengthy dark patch with my mental health), joy is not an emotion I think I feel often. And it isn’t an emotion I’d really ever consider using in context with sex. However, since this IS the Erotic Journal Challenge…I guess that’s the challenge, right? So what brings me joy in the context of my relationship? When things are spot on with us, when we’re connected, and usually when energy is high because we are doing something fun and…

  • Erotic Journal Challenge,  Experience,  My EJC Responses

    What are you hungry for?

    I’m hungry for that feeling I get when He takes me by surprise, kissing me deeply…when I lose myself and my body begins to boil beneath the skin…rumbling vibrations from the core. And my eyes close…plunging me into the dark behind my lids, that dance of colors that expand like lava. The deepening of breath, the melting into him, the letting go. He can still do that to me. And it takes very little to do, if I’m receptive, present…available… …and not distracted. A kiss can weaken me, derail me, wipe me clean. A kiss in the morning before work…not the daily peck on the lips, the distracted, absent, habitual…

  • Experience

    What makes you feel free?

    A feeling of freedom, for me, is mostly about time and safety. Having the time to relax, enjoy, melt. And feeling safe allows me to trust and let go, which is what I need to really be present…or better yet, lose myself, sensually, to a situation. It may sound counterintuitive, but safety also means boundaries, limits, knowing where the edges are and steering clear of them. I’m not a risk-taker. And when I stray toward the lines I’ve set, consciously or no, I tense, and presence is lost. Maybe that makes me a chicken. I gain a sense of safety not only by planning and knowing, but also by not…

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