The Sex Life I Crave

If I were to describe the sex life I’ve had in the past, the words I’d use would be all over the board. Vanilla/non-monogamous, safe/adventurous, unsatisfying/delicious, boring/mind-blowing. I’ve had all types of sex, in all kinds of situations, with many different people in the past 29 years.

In my marriage, even, sex has worn many hats. It has been a positive force, a stress, an intimate connection, a creative process, an adventure, a weight…but always a journey.

I expect that it will continue to be all of these things, and more, as we age together ungracefully, as we are most likely to do.

I don’t want to put a ton of pressure on our sex life by setting specific goals. But I do hope that our sex life is satisfying and unifying. I want us both to get out of it what we need. That means it will need to be both safe and adventurous. And there will need to be enough of it to make us both happy. With varying sex drives, that can be difficult, but I’m committed to improving our level of consistency. Creating a sex life that is satisfying for two or more people involves a lot of honest communication, active involvement, experimentation, and vulnerability. There needs to be a willingness to take risks and expand experience. And it needs to be fun.

I want sex to bring us closer together. It is, after all, one of the most intimate ways people can connect.

So, I’m vowing to be more open, more willing to try new things, and more active in trying to please Him (and myself).

We’ve both agreed to continue our journey in D/s and non-monogamy. And uncovering and fulfilling fantasies is still a focus for both of us. We’re going slow though. He’s got some work to do on Himself, and we need to make our own way back to good before we involve others. We talked about this last night after a good fucking.

Even though we were contacted by a single woman, and even though I was willing and wrapping my brain around how to make that work, He pulled back the reigns and decided to say no. That surprised me, but…like I said He’s got His own work to do. And that isn’t my story to tell.

We’ve bee married 16 years, and we’re still trying to figure each other out. We know we’re connected and committed, for better or worse in that “I can’t quit you” sort of that mostly feels like being tethered to the dock in a bad storm. There are pros and cons to being that attached. But, I’m choosing to see it as beneficial and necessary and safe.

We also need to get back to the sex therapist at some point. But, even though Mr. D is back to days, we don’t have any days off together, which makes traveling out of town for an appointment difficult, unless I take a day off. So, I’ll either need to do that (no biggie, really…I have plenty of days available) or do a virtual appointment, which would be more convenient.

Anyhow, I picked up some new lingerie that I haven’t posted yet. This was the piece I wore yesterday…super comfy, and pretty sexy, if I do say so myself.

I didn’t meet Him at the door in it, or anything, but He has a tendency to wanna see my underwear or make me expose my tits and weird times, just because He can. And since we had no kiddo home, I was fairly certain He’d request a flash. Which He did. And He liked.

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