“Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.”
Reality is very much a product of personal experience. How I process events, what I remember, what I forget. And I have a tendency to get lost in a moment, keeping only snippets, feelings, thoughts, smells.
This is part of the reason I journal so regularly and write things down. I forget specifics and details. But the ones I do remember, I needle on.
I’m a big picture girl, who obsesses about things that often don’t matter, and doesn’t pay enough attention to the things that do.
I miss the mark. Often.
I set goals, I break them down, I take small steps to achieve them. I like checking things off.
And I feel a sense of accomplishment in being productive.
I plan and plan and overplan. Sometimes I waste so much time planning I run out of time to DO.
I drive my own self crazy 🤪.
I like quiet. I like home. I like the expected.
In fairly every way, I am different from my Husband.
But, that doesn’t mean we don’t find one another. In all the right small ways, even if we sometimes miss the mark with the bigger things.
For example, last night, while watching 1883, a main character was monologuing about the intensity of connection…the swapping of pieces of the soul when you love someone. And how, when that person is lost, a piece of your soul is lost with them, but also a piece of their’s carries on with you, riding around inside of you, seeing what you see, experiencing what you experience.
He sought my hand and I sought His.
No words. We didn’t need them. There was a silent understanding that we agreed.
That is why we do this.
This week’s #SWAP prompt is: I felt you and I knew you loved me. The quote is from a neon sign in the Liverpool Cathedral (which I simply love: neon…in an old church…it seems so out of place, and yet, that’s why it stands out). Obviously, it has religious context, and quite honestly, while I didn’t apply it to God, I did apply it to a spiritual connection. The one I have with my Husband…that is so deep and strong that, even when we struggle greatly, we cannot break free from one another.
When we were married, we incorporated the concepts of handfasting and Anam Cara. To us, marriage was a merging of two souls, a blending of spirits. A choice, in some ways, that would be made, year after year. But also something bigger than us…that maybe we didn’t have complete control of.
And still don’t. ❤