I’m not an especially religious sort, but I do pray from time to time. I guess it’s more of a sending out of intentions or energy, or a request for strength or guidance in times of confusion or frustration or despair, rather than a conversation with a God. Though I suppose I’ve had plenty of those, too, over the years.
Prayer to me is contemplation, so in many ways, what I do here is prayer. I throw my thoughts out to the universe, and sometimes the universe talks back.
Prayer was the topic for today’s #SubmissiveAdvent. The entry for today provides this:
Allow me the strength to answer questions I can’t fathom. Allow me the spirit to know His needs. Allow me the kindness to choke back retorts. Allow me the serenity to serve Him in peace. Allow me the love to show Him myself. Allow me the tenderness to comfort Him. Allow me the light to show us the way. Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Him. Let me be able to show Him each day my love of my service to Him. Let me open myself up to completely belong to Him. Let my eyes show Him the same respect, whether I sit at His side, or kneel at His feet. Let me learn to please Him, beyond myself. Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely. Grant me the strength to please U/us both. Permit me to love myself in loving Him. Allow me the peace of serving Him. For it is my greatest wish, my highest power to make His life complete, as He makes mine. (Author Unknown)
And so I said this today, on my knees, I knew full well that currently, I am in this alone. He either does or does not know where I’m at in this, because we haven’t really been talking about it. I’m giving him space.
I know I’m not good at submission. I’m like a dog who wants to be good, but keeps ripping things up and then doing this:
I’m like the dog who failed obedience school. Repeatedly.
I suppose the difference is, I can use logic and change my behavior, while a dog must learn through repeated exposure to reward or consequence.
Actually…I’m really no different.
Some dogs are just harder to train.
I did find this amusing: we missed each other in the driveway this morning. Normally we at least get to kiss in passing, as he comes home and I go to work. He sent me a text… Love you. Sorry I missed yiu this morning. I replied… I missed my kiss 💋. Love you, too. And then He sent me this image, which made me giggle…and scratch my head a bit…
Maybe I’m overthinking it… but it made me feel hopeful. Is this a weird olive branch?