Virtually none of us show our whole selves to the world. We hide certain parts from various people for myriad reasons. Like a puzzle, we offer some pieces to one and not another. They never get the full picture.
Even those who get “all of us” can never fully get all of us.
I hide parts of myself from my daily world that you get to see. The shadows in this image represent those parts. But you don’t get to see the parts that my family, friends, and colleagues get to see. The everyday me. Mom me. Daughter me. Friend me. Teacher me. This image shows those parts in light. But even still those parts are a bit distorted…unclear.
There is one person who sees this all. And even He must contend with period distortion and shadow.
I don’t even think I have all the pieces of this puzzle, actually. I may have lost some in my many moves…vacuumed a few up. The cat could have dragged one off to the garden. Maybe the dog ate a few.
I am an incomplete picture…always moving, like waves above hot asphalt.
This month’s Sinful Sunday prompt is K. So I’m going with “Kindness.” Body kindness, that is. This image, unedited, shows one part of myself that I struggle with accepting the most: my belly. As I age, my breasts are beginning to sag a bit, and my mom belly is following suit. Gravity is pulling me down, and I feel its weight. From behind, there are dimples in my behind, sagging flesh at the inside top of my thighs, and creases below my shoulder blades. Even my face seems to have gotten in on the action. A slow sliding downward…like a glacier melting over centuries.
This is not a process one can stop. We can fight it, sure. With exercise, diet, surgeries, creams, etc. But in the end, gravity and the Earth will win. She will take us back.
This body is still strong. It allows my mind to accomplish its long to do list. It allows me to hold and hug and love. It allows me to move and feel.
So, regardless of its flaws (which, let’s be honest…are only flaws because our culture has deemed them so), it is a good body.
It could be stronger and healthier, which I’m working on. But as far as appearance goes…this is it. This is 44-year-old me.