Experience,  Photography

The Sweet Spot

*This image was originally created for #boobday and Lingerie is for Everyone.

Well, it looks like #boobday may have imploded, which makes me sad. Violet Fawkes is an amazing writer, and I’m sad to see her go (if indeed that is her decision). It means the end of Lingerie is for Everyone, too. Which is also sad. But then, social media eats people. I’ve seen a lot of casualties of this over my blogging years, especially in the last year.

I guess that’s what happens when things become bigger. Take a look at any city. As it grows…the problems within it do, too. That’s just human nature. Various opinions lead to conflict. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. What makes it bad is that too many people can’t deal with conflict in positive ways, and so the whole thing goes up in flames.

I make a point of padding my world and protecting myself as a blogger (and in my real life). It takes quite a bit of time, but it’s worth it for my peace of mind. I follow those I want to, not because someone says I can or can’t or should or shouldn’t. The joy of having curated reading lists on social media means I never hear about what I “should” or “shouldn’t” do, because I don’t read those tweets/posts. It’s akin to moving out of that big city I just mentioned and becoming a hermit in the hills. I come down for my paper and a cup of coffee and some groceries once in a while, but other than that, I keep to myself.

Every so often, something breaks through my social media wall, and I’m quick to put a stop to it. Some might say I’ve created my own little echo chamber, and I wouldn’t disagree. I don’t go to social media for my news or my world information (ummm, that would be dumb). I go there to connect with people who make me happy. And that means liberally hacking away at what I see.

Social media has, indeed, given a voice to the voiceless. And in some ways that is a good thing. But when everyone is talking over one another, it’s hard to hear the things that really matter.

I know some might criticize me for pulling away rather than “fighting the good fight.” But my idea of the “good fight” just isn’t the same as many others’. I come here to write. Not to change the world. I’ll leave that to those who have the time and energy to put into it. I’m changing the world in my own little way in my own life, in person, with the people I actually see with my own eyes and touch with my own hands.

I’ve got a small list of people I interact with here. It means my blog isn’t growing the way it could, if I was willing to lay myself on the alter of the social media demon and sacrifice myself. But I’m not.

So here I am…in my small corner of the internet, which is still small…and still happy. I had high hopes awhile back…about working towards a money-making blog. But after trying it for a year, and realizing just how much of myself I was going to have to sell out, I changed my mind and pulled back.

I think I’ve found the sweet spot.



  • Molly

    I think the important thing is to do what feels right for you.

    I don’t think I agree about it being dumb getting your news from social media. I get a lot of my news from social media as I follow accounts that are political commentary and news channels that I trust. I think actually getting news from social media maybe less dumb than watching some of the very biased news media channels on the TV.

    However getting your vaccine information from Aunty Doris on facebook who saw this thing on Youtube that proves that the vaccine makes men infertile is yes, absolutely, definitely dumb! *laughs


    Ps… your sweet spot looks very sweet!
    Molly recently posted…Sweet intoxicationMy Profile

    • Brigit Delaney

      Maybe I should clarify and say that I think it’s not the best idea to get ALL of one’s news via social media. And it’s a good idea to check facts no matter what one’s news source is. No offense meant by that comment, I just notice that many people rely on SM for all their news and then they never fact check. And to make matters worse, they pass it on as gospel to others who eat it up without checking sources, either.

      We must all do what is right for us…and I think I’ve really learned that deeply this past year.

      • Molly

        Ahh yes, that makes totally sense and I completely agree about fact checking

        And yes I think this last year has been a learning curve in so many ways. I know I have learned a great deal about myself and what I want and need.


  • Eve Ray

    I am sorry to hear that Violet has decided to call it a day. Most of my Twitter activity is to do with music and sport these days and most of sex blogger Twitter passes me by, which may not be a bad thing (and is why I missed this). As for me, I just avoid the politics, do my thing and I enjoy it and enough people read my posts to make it worthwhile. I kind of regret now that I never posted on any of Violet’s memes but maybe she will decide to return one day. And I have some fab lingerie!

    • Brigit Delaney

      Avoiding the politics is the best way to keep one’s sanity, I believe. It ruins a lot of good things.

  • Bee

    I’ve not been on social media much recently myself, not to shelter myself but I’m just lacking the time right now.

    I need to find a way to have a better balance but right now that can’t happen so for now I have to miss out on that sweet spot.

    • Brigit Delaney

      I’m not sure that anyone ever finds true balance for long. It’s more about taking turns and giving attention where it is needed most and then alternating as possible.

  • May More

    Great image Brigit – for me, not interacting so much on social media has given me room to grow and continue creating.
    As for news, what Tom believes Dick does not, and what Dick believes Harry has no time for. What Harry believes makes him happy… But they all go down the pub together for a pint and a chat, using their conflict of interests as a positive to have proper discussions and celebrate their differences and occasionally their similarities. As u say conflict does not need to be negative.
    Indeed, Violet is great writer and i hope she finds somewhere to share her work
    May x
    May More recently posted…Standing Ovation ~ One Night OnlyMy Profile

    • Brigit Delaney

      I have those Toms, Dicks, and Harrys in real life…people I can have proper debate with and still walk away as friends. That doesn’t seem as possible on the internet. People seem far too sensitive…unable to see reason or gauge humor and sarcasm.

    • Brigit Delaney

      I don’t know what prompted it, other than social media can be a bitch. That’s why I’ve worked so hard to create my own little safe space on twitter where I only see what and who I want. It’s sad…she’s a great writer, and I, too, hope to see her back. I’ve been at this a long time, though, and I’ve seen a lot of good bloggers come and go for various reasons. We’ve gotta do what’s best for us.

  • Missy

    I am glad you have found your sweet spot. I too have found certain social media outlets to be nasty and try to keep to myself. The hermit on the hill coming down for a coffee and paper is a good analogy. I feel that there are others living up on the hill with me but in terms of the larger groups I just dip my toe in. I find putting my efforts into my own little community and my own readers far more rewarding and have felt that I have been able to grow since I stopped trying to fit in and be accepted. Lovely image by the way. Missy x
    Missy recently posted…Two Truths and a LieMy Profile

    • Brigit Delaney

      Yes, now that I’ve figured out more clearly where I belong, I’m much more comfortable online. I’ve focused in on who matters, and hopefully I’ll be able to grow from here.

  • Posy Churchgate

    I can relate to so much of what you say Brigit, great post, which has evoked discussion already. I’m sorry to hear Violet has stepped away, the Lingerie is for Everybody meme she created was very empowering – I met some great friends through participation there.

      • Swirly

        26 April -prompt #172

        Thank you for linking up with the prompt this week. I find everyone has new insights on handling their time online.

        As you have alluded to the premise several
        times, we must learn to create our own piece of happy.

        Your blog has certainly given food for thought


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