TGIF

Happy Friday! And, of course, Happy #boobday!

Like many people, I see Fridays as a special day , something to look forward to and celebrate each week. It’s a small celebration…making it through another week to the weekend. It isn’t because I don’t like my work; I do, very much most days. But it takes a lot out of me, so the prospect of a few days to sleep in and relax more than usual is a blessing. My mind, body, and soul crave the weekend.

Fridays are also good because it’s the day I socialize with friends. In normal times, it’s drinks at a local pub after work. Now, it’s virtual drinks, but I still look forward to the connection.

We are also back to our Fridays alone as a couple, shuffling the teenager between both sets of grandparents so we have one night a week where we can just be us. It’s a luxury not many can afford, I know. We don’t always use it to it’s fullest potential. But Friday night, I’m usually exhausted, and after virtual drinks and dinner out – if the rules allow, which they currently do – I’m often passed out on His warm chest on the couch by 9:00.

Saturday morning then, is later than normal (I’m used to getting up at 5:00 during the week). On the weekend, we sleep in, laze on the couch with our coffee for a few hours and then begin our housework and school work and other responsibilities. Mid-morning sex, where we don’t have to control the banging and squeaking of the bed or hold our tongues, is a highlight on the days when the teenager is still away.

This weekend, though, we are off to the sex therapist. Weather and life have pushed back our appointment for a few weeks, and I’ll be honest, since my work has changed so dramatically, it’s feeling like the first month of school, which always impacts our relationship. My stress level rises, which means my sex drive plummets.

I’ve been on hormone therapy for a month now. I really don’t notice any difference, positive or negative. Of course, I’ll give it it’s due time to take effect. I know the doc was planning to increase the progesterone if I tolerated the lower dose well, which I have. I also realize this isn’t likely to directly impact my sex drive. It will gradual and indirect at best.

We also have a few “dates” lined up for after the insanity of Covid lessens. The Mr. has been in communication with several couples (He’s the hunter in our union), and I have thrown in a word or two to the conversations. I know He wishes I’d be more involved in the online back and forth that constitutes pre-swinging. But, for me, I have little interest until I’ve actually seen a person in real life. I don’t like to build things up, just to catch their scent and realize there is no chemistry. What a let down for everyone, right? Especially if a lot of time has been invested texting and emailing. I prefer to avoid that. I’ll be honest, too…I’m a bit apprehensive. While I am certainly capable of enjoying sex with others (besides my Husband), and I’m not bothered by seeing Him fuck someone else, I’m not sure how this all will fit back into our lives.

Along with the apprehension, there is also intrigue. I don’t plan to put any expectation on it; that is obviously a recipe for disappointment. And it’s always good to remember that this is more about us than anyone else. But I guess my fear(?) is that swinging is the “gateway” to polyamory.

But then…I just said I wouldn’t attach expectations, didn’t I?

And I’ve communicated my thoughts and fears about that to Him, so He knows exactly where I stand, on insatable tundra-like ground…all mushy and unpredictable.

Anyhow…it is time to head off and get dressed.

Have a lovely Friday, my friends.