Experience

There are a hundred ways…

There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground. – Rumi

There are two days left in 2020, and while our yearly endings and beginnings are a human construct and only psychologically create doors from one thing to another, there is something gratifying about the closure and opportunity that New Year’s brings. I always feel a certain motivational energy at this time of year, and it feels a bit like shedding my skin and letting go of all that wasn’t done to my liking.

I hear a lot of talk about how happy people are to be done with 2020, as if somehow, we will wake up on the first of the new year and find ourselves in totally different circumstances.

Of course, I (we) know that won’t be the case, but it always seems like something more positive is brewing on the other side of the calendar page.

My work situation won’t change, the pandemic will not suddenly be over, and my life will be exactly the same. But that dedication to do something new and different can be powerful if it is sustained/sustainable. That it is the hard part, though. It’s the reason so many people make resolutions and then immediately fail.

I am not making resolutions. But I am setting intentions. I like to choose a few words to ground myself and remind myself how I want to feel, so that as I set goals, make plans, and schedule my days, I can keep those at the forefront of my mind. From those words, I like to select one to be a focus for the year. This focus is usually something I believe I need to work on or improve and that will make my life (and the lives of those I love) better in the long run.

My 2021 word is vulnerability. And I plan to keep this concept central in my writing this coming year. If you haven’t done much investigation into it, but you’re interested, I suggest starting with Brené Brown’s Ted Talk “The Power of Vulnerability.”

This idea will also be pivotal for my marriage and important in my quest to become a better submissive.

While there are indeed “a hundred ways to kiss the ground,” I’m choosing to come at it through vulnerability, mindfulness, and gratitude. This means being honest about my weaknesses and celebrating my strengths. It also means asking for help when I need it, voicing my needs and wants, and being mindful about and grateful for the gifts I have been given (and worked for).

I want to do more of what I love with the people I love. And I want to enjoy it, keeping my mind, body, and soul engaged and present (and happy) as much and as often as possible.

So, here are a few of my plans…

The 5 Minute Journal (app) – I love this app because it is simple and gets right at what matters…What are you grateful for? What will you do to make today great? What is your daily affirmation? What amazing things happened today? And how could you have made it better (what will you change for tomorrow)? It literally takes 5 minutes, and you can add a photo to go with your entry. There is a lot of research out there about how keeping a gratitude journal can change your life. And this is definitely a good one! They also have a hard copy, if you prefer to do it that way.

Wellness is always a place I fall short. This year, I’m seeing a specialist to deal with medications for my crazy hormone and mental health issues. I will also keep up my yoga practice, because it is one type of exercise I don’t hate. I could make promises about working out and eating/drinking healthier. But, who would I be kidding? Small changes are in order, because big changes never stick for me. Resolutions always fail. And then I feel bad about myself and go right back to even worse behaviors. So…let’s just start with a doctor’s appointment (in January) and yoga, because those are things I can do today. Tomorrow is tomorrow, and I’ll make a plan for that when it comes.

My blog and my books are my safe spaces…so I’ll be continuing with writing and reading as usual. I’ve simplified my blog plans from last year. I’ll continue on with the Erotic Journal Challenge (this year’s theme is celebrations, and the meme will continue to be monthly). I’ve dropped a few other things to make a bit more time for a monthly Erotic Bedtime Story (I was very remiss about podcast uploads last year) and merge my love of reading with my love of writing by adding the Erotic Book Club. That’s it for scheduled content, and it’s a lot less than I started with in 2020.

My focus this year on the blog is my submissive journey. So, I’m starting the year with another book by Luna Caruthers (submissiveguide.com). I like using prompts to get my thought processes going, as I often feel like I’ve written about everything under the sun when it comes to how I feel about submission and myself as a submissive. Of course, I haven’t, but my mind can only go so far because of my limited experience.

When I think back on myself as a submissive this past year (and years before), I see a few glimmers of success, but for the most part, I haven’t ever attained what I (or we) want. I do believe I have a good idea of where I’m going and how to get there, and I think the work we are putting in now will definitely provide the foundation necessary for us to achieve the type of D/s that will make us both happy.

Of course, I’ll pop in and play with other blogger’s memes, as blogging really is about community.

And that’s about it. Here’s hoping that 2021 brings more light and softness. And may we all let go a bit more, easing in to our places with gratitude, mindfulness, and vulnerability.

I thank all of my readers for being here. This is what it is all about, sharing stories and connecting.

Stories matter. What’s yours?

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8 Comments

  • Marie Rebelle

    I have just looked at the The Five Minute Journal App and I think this might just be something I want to do, to focus on the positive in all the negativity surrounding me, as I can tend to totally forget about myself when caring for others. I always love your ideas for your blog, Brigit, and how organized you are with your words and focus. I look forward to read more, and follow your 2021 journey.
    Wishing you a wonderful New Year’s Eve and a wonderful start to 2021, and of course, I wish for all of us that 2021 will be a better year!
    ~ Marie xox

    • Brigit Delaney

      Happy New Year to you, too, Marie! Likewise, I am always impressed with your blog and your projects! Here’s to a better year, more writing, and strengthening our community!

  • missy

    I love the way you choose a word for the year and the way everything else fits in to it. I am interested to read how your journey to delve deeper into submission goes too. Wishing you a happy new year. Love missy x

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