Experience,  My EJC Responses


The Advent is a time of anticipation and preparation for the winter season. Submission, too, can be an intricate dance in which a submissive has the opportunity to anticipate, prepare, and meet the needs of his or her Dominant.

This year, I am following Luna K’s Submissive Advent Calendar, and the first day hit me right in the gut. Not because it is especially surprising or deep, but because it points out exactly where I struggle as a submissive.

While my nature may be dual, both submissive and dominant, depending on the situation (at work, I’m in control of a lot of things and maintain a leadership position), I prefer a submissive role with my husband, and I naturally defer to him in most decisions and actions.

However, I am not a giver.

Ooohhh…there…I said it. 

I do not spend a lot of time considering his needs and anticipating ways to please him or make him happy. And that is the crux.

In order to be a “good” submissive for him, I feel I need to be more giving (especially physically/sexually, as physical touch is his love language), and I need to spend more time actually considering his needs…anticipating what will make him happy…preparing to do so…and actually doing it.

And the beauty of it is, I don’t need to rely on him to do anything here. It is all in my power to shift our tide.

I know what he wants and what he needs and likes. All I have to do…is do it.

It sounds so impossibly simple. It IS impossibly simple.

So, why don’t I do it?


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  • MP Jordan

    Agreed young lady. To be committed someone else’s happiness and sense of fulfillment, it would be tough without being a giver. My wife, total vanilla. She is so vanilla, her skin is actually the color white.
    So funny I came across this today. I asked her if I woke her up for reasons other than a fire in the house or someone breaking in, what would she do? She said she would kick me out my own bed, physically. While she is not a physical person, and I don’t think she actually would, I let her know I was less than ecstatic about her response.

    • Brigit Delaney

      That’s funny. Even with my more submissive nature, being woken up in the night does not usually bring about a positive reaction. I need my sleep, and I can become rather ornery without plenty of it.

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