Well, I managed 21 posts this month. And though I didn’t answer all of my 30 Dirty Questions, I posted more this month than I normally do, so I’d still call #EROBLOPOMO a success.
I plan to leave the 30 Dirty Questions up (linked in my projects), for future reference, so if you didn’t partake this month and would like to do them at another time, they will still be there. There is no reason you have to do them in one month and no particular set order, so use them as you please.
The end of my month sort of got away from me. Our fridge went out, Thanksgiving happened, my college class got a bit more intense, and I was sucked into a few novels, so I haven’t written much this past week or so.
That happens often, though. My interest and energy for writing waxes and wanes, though it usually matches up with my mood and my sex drive (which has been much better, right up until the past few days).
I tend to get a bit out of sorts around the full moon, and tonight’s is a doozy. I couldn’t sleep last night (just tossed and turned beneath the pounding rain on the roof and the bright light blaring through the skylight), and I was I irritable and stressed most of yesterday trying to get in two big assignments for school.
But sex has been good and our counseling sessions seem to be helping.
I think the moon got to him last light, too, though, because it was the first night in a long time that he picked a bit of an argument with me over something completely illogical. Seriously, all I did was ask to not be touched because I was struggling to sleep, and I typically need that anyway. But, he took personal offense and pouted pretty intensely, and when I came out to the kitchen to get some Sleepy Time tea, he followed for a discussion.
Obviously, when he does this, I know the root is deeper. But, at the moment, it is hard not to be irritable about it, as our agreement is to avoid deep conversations late at night or after a few drinks…and especially when both of those apply (because these conversations never go well and tend to escalate quickly).
At various odd points of his monologue (I wisely just listened, mostly), the fact that we don’t do BDSM anymore came up out of nowhere (in response to my question of why he was so upset that I needed space to sleep) and he told me he was feeling afraid of me (which seemed a rather odd thing to say in the context of our conversation…or any conversation, actually). Really, in my opinion,, he just made a simple problem (me not being able to sleep) a much bigger deal than it was.
I finally managed to drift off to sleep, both of us on our own sides of the bed, and after several bouts of his snoring subsided, around 1 am. I get up at 5, so…needless to say, coffee will be my sidekick today.
And…I’m sure we will be having a bit of a talk later today about the underlying issue(s) beneath his behavior last night.
Last night, I held my tongue and kept myself from escalating things, but I was frustrated and confused by how out of proportion he blew things and how personally he took my need for space.
In the light of day (though it is still dark at 6:30 in the morning here), I am more rational, and I know what happened was about something bigger.
It’s my charge to investigate it now.
So…I brought it up after work…and all he remembered was following me out to the living room to find out what was wrong. I didn’t turn the conversation into more than it had to be. I just tucked the experience away for discussion at counseling.
This is what the drink does to him.
But he’s working on that…in his own private ways…and that is not my story to tell.
Anyhow, the coming weeks promise to be busy, what with my college class final research project coming up.
I’ll do my best to get a few posts in.
Things will calm down towards mid-month, and I should have more time to concentrate on writing during Winter Break.
Thank you to all who participated in Erotic Blog Posting Month, 30 Dirty Questions, and the Erotic Poetry Challenge. I will come back to finish my answers to the 30 Dirty Questions at the end of December, but I have a special plan for the rest of the month. Maybe you’ll join me for the Erotic Journal Challenge!