Possibly, Albert Einstein once said, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
But what if we changed life to love in that statement:
Love is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.
Because love is a verb…something we do. And to keep our balance in love, we must keep doing it. We must do the things that constitute love in whatever relationship we are in.
It’s easy to stop doing over time, to stop putting in the effort. It’s probably the number one reason relationships fall apart…because one or more involved stopped pedaling.
Think of a long-term relationship like a bicycle built for two (or whatever number works for you). If one person stops peddling, it makes it harder for the other person. If both stop, the bike will eventually topple. If both, are putting in the work, peddling away, the ride will be mostly smooth, unless of course they are derailed by an outside source (which, of course happens all time). But, even in this case, if all riders are “all in,” it’s easier to right the bike and continue on with the ride, even after a wobble or a full-on crash.
We started our ride manybyears ago, both of us happily and vigorously peddling away, like most new lovers.
We wobbled a bit when our son was born, trying to figure out how best to fit him on the bike…how to keep the balance with this extra weight.
And then there were the bumps and potholes of our swinging years. The crash when polyamory didn’t work.
There have been times in our marriage, where one of us has carried the load, peddling nearly alone, because the other was injured or drawn down by depression, unable to do their part.
There have even been times when both of us got off the bike and put it aside, too tired to pedal anymore, wondering, maybe, if it was time to find a new hobby…with someone new.
But, we have always found that bike, hidden behind boxes in the garage sometimes, dusted the seats off, gotten back on, and found a new trail.
Because that’s we do. We ride. We love.
And while, sometimes, we do stop peddling like we should, we have never forgotten how.