(photo: maca root)
Let’s see what the stats have to say (because we know those don’t lie, right?):
How many times/days I masturbated in…
June: 13 (gee…quite the uptick)
July: 7 so far… (headed for June-like numbers, people!)
How many times we had sex in…
June: 1 (ouch…wtf?)
July: 4 so far… (doing better, as we are only half-way done)
What I’m getting from all this…
What the holy fuck was happening in May and June? (Oh, yeah: the ‘rona.)
Our sex life is abysmal.
I feel horrible about this as a person (don’t worry, I’m okay…and I know I’m not the only person in this marriage).
However, I’ve been feeling horny as fuck off and on the past several weeks. And what this tells me is…
Stress is likely my #1 libido killer (since I’ve been off work since end of June).
Sleep, yoga, and exercise are helping.
My diet and alcohol are not.
And the maca/ashwaghanda supplements could be having a positive impact.
I’ve opted to use this particular brand and formula as it has a higher dose of maca than many of the others and it pairs it with ashwaghanda. I’m considering adding a melatonin/rhodiola supplement, as well, once I go back to work and need a bit more help with sleep/stress.
After researching quite a bit, I’ve found that some of the most helpful supplements for stress-related low libido in both men and women are maca, ashwaghanda, and rhodiola. I’m looking at a few other supplements to try (Irwin Naturals’ Steel Libido and Steel Libido Pink…plus there are some good possibilities HERE), but so far, I think this one is helping, and I prefer it to the powder (as I literally cannot stand the taste of it in anything I’ve added it to).
I’ve noticed that I think about sex more often, am drawn to snuggling and touching more, and get those warm feelings and pussy twitches that are such a fundamental part of desire, rather than just the warm feelings that are a result of oxytocin release (love). They hit me at random times during the day, not just when I am presented with physical contact or when my husband is available, either. I am spontaneously thinking about (and wanting sex).
This is big, folks.
He also spanked my ass the other night in bed (playfully)…a few times…and I found myself feeling that again, too. (That being a draw toward him spanking and/or dominating me…as that has been on hold, as well, for quite some time.) I have a feeling the first smack was just that…a playful smack. But the following swats felt more like a question…or a test (Is she still up for this?)
(Why yes…I believe I am.)
The real test is when the stress returns. But, for now, I’m counting the supplement experiment a moderate success. I’ll be keeping my eye on the numbers in my sex tracker, just to see if things improve. Obviously I need more than a month or two to call things a success, and I’ll need to keep it going into the school year.
The added difficulty is that it isn’t just me that is struggling. He’s not been at his best (sexually) lately, either. Stress, depression, etc. and the fact that he stopped using his testosterone has left him with less desire. He stopped using the testosterone to sort of “chemically castrate” himself (his words, not mine), so he would stop caring so much about our unsatisfying sex life.
This means I’ve sort of been on my own in this experiment. That alone, tells me it’s working, since I haven’t had a lot of inspiration, motivation, or cheer-leading from the other half to keep it up or keep it going. We are about to head out for vacation, though, and I’m hoping things will get better once he has a little down time.
The only problem is, we won’t be alone…and the trailer rocks (if ya know what I mean)…and teenagers notice more than little kids do, so now our actions are under more intense scrutiny. Now we get to be the “gross parents” who still kiss in front of our kid and still “have sex.” Ewww….