Zero Fucks Given
I’m not afraid to speak my mind or share my opinion. In person, face to face, I’m willing to debate and stand up for controversial ideas and unpopular (or popular) beliefs. I’ll even gladly defend my opponent’s right to disagree with me. That’s what freedom of speech is all about.
Make no mistake. I will take a stand for what I feel is right. At work. In my community.
And at home…I’ll let my opinion pour forth unbidden and without worry.
But online? In social media? On my website?
I used to be stupid enough to expend precious energy doing this. But then I realized that I only have so many fucks to give in a day…and arguing on social media and getting caught up in social media drama takes up far too many of my precious, finite fucks. Fucks that need to be given to things much more important…like friends and family and naps and playing fetch with my dog and finding out what happens next on my favorite TV show.
It’s not that I’m afraid to say what I think. Or that I’m ashamed of my opinions.
No. No, no, no…Holy-god-damn-fuck no!
It’s that I know what we say online can be (and, more often than not, IS) misunderstood, twisted, and used against us. It’s used to guilt us, shame us, censor us, silence us, and force us into compliance…into submitting to a particular norm or group.
And I won’t be party to it.
My website is not a political forum. It’s a creative outlet. And I won’t be coerced into making it anything other than that.
It’s important, I think, to make this clear, in the midst of all of the current events and as we move into an election. So much hatred and faulty or fragmented information is gearing up to be thrown from multiple directions. I will often, during these times, silence, mute, and unfollow people, as well as completely shut off my social media platforms for long periods of time. It isn’t to create an echo chamber, for I do plenty of research to ensure I understand events and numbers/statistics and people’s intentions from multiple angles. It’s to shut out the nastiness and finger-pointing.
Because I have a finite number of fucks. Remember? And I don’t plan to spend any of them on that.
(The “Fuck Budget” is not my idea…I borrowed this from Sarah Knight’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck.)
17 Comments
Jae Lynn
I love this on so many levels! These past few months were eye-opening for me. I have never experienced so much anger and hate as I have seen lately. I will not put it on my timeline on any social media and no one can tell me otherwise. I will not put up post after post of it either, it’s not what my blog is about.
We have to do what is best for our own mental health. As for the fucks to give, well I have but one ‘flying fuck’ left and I will not give it away so easily. (Literally, I have a coin that is a flying fuck lol)
Jae Lynn recently posted…Capturing Half of Me
Brigit Delaney
Ha! We have a candle labeled…”My last fuck”. Yep, we gotta do what is best for us, and be okay with it, even if others aren’t. I can only make so many people happy in a day, and my people come first.
Sweet
I listened to her TED talk and it changed my outlook on life. Have you seen the song on youtube that has been done about it? It makes me giggle and I find myself singing it alot! Here’s a link for you just incase you fancy a listen….
https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0
I completely agree, with everything you have written here… time for my own reflection I think..
Sweet recently posted…Protected Heart.
Sweet
I listened to her TED talk and it changed my outlook on life. Have you seen the song on youtube that has been done about it? It makes me giggle and I find myself singing it alot! Here’s a link for you just incase you fancy a listen….
https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0
I completely agree, with everything you have written here… time for my own reflection I think..
Brigit Delaney
Ha ha! I get a kick out of her. I have her audiobooks, and she’s fun to listen to while driving. Thanks for the link!
May More
Oh my Brigit – if there is one person I would give “fucks” to it would be you – your comments always make a lot of sense to me. Thank you for making me smile this morning.
I think I will be investigating the fuck budget book!
May x
May More recently posted…Feminism ~ Thoughts about what it means to be a feminist
Brigit Delaney
It is worth a read!
Swirly
You express yourself in ways i struggle with, online. My “(deflective) dark humour” does not translate via ‘(un)social media’.
I’ve been savaged on Twitter timelines for finding my voice, for processing & retrieving memories/trauma.
I’ve been Rape Shamed & deceived by well known names for telling my truth.
It’s taken over 2 years to reclaim my own thoughts as valid.
You do the right thing not giving angry, unhappy troublemakers space or time – they should consider saving their spoons to stir their own pots to be better humans.
Save your Phuques 🧚♀️
Brigit Delaney
I can’t imagine anyone shaming you for speaking your truth or telling your story! No one has that right. But then, so many think they do. I fully agree, they should see to their own gardens instead of ruining other people’s. I’m glad to hear you have reclaimed your thoughts, though!
Posy Churchgate
I admire your strength and commitment to your own beliefs. Strong post.
Brigit Delaney
Thanks, Posy!
Marie Rebelle
I wish I was as strong as you. I feel battered and fragile, scared. Too many fucks to give, I think. I might have read that book.
~ Marie xox
Brigit Delaney
It is a good one!
Hiram Delaney
My darling Brigit,
The art of not giving fucks is so realative. The following link was on the wall behind my desk when I worked a world away from home. I actually had to gift it to a supervisor there when I left (because he asked) .
My current coworker describes their field of fucks as a jungle which they cannot control. I might buy them an etsy cross stitch to hang in their office. Unless you want one also? Maybe I will get two…
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/91/1d/c3/911dc365997a1a91c44b17dbcf30ff75.jpg
Brigit Delaney
That is one version of the saying which my husband is quite a fan!
a mental switch
Ah a budget of fucks..what wonderful idea. Although I spent my budget this morning with my wife (in a good way) 😉
I have to check out this book now.
Brigit Delaney
Well…that kind of fuck can be budgeted differently!