Today: 207.5 pounds, 3,922 steps, alcohol 3, calories 1995, sleep almost 9 hours, cleaned house (that counts as a workout, right?!), masturbation 1/orgasms 1 (so far…trying to prove to myself that masturbation is a clear key to libido revival)


Body Hair

I can’t be the only one who has an obsession with my own body hair, can I? It started several years back when I noticed black hairs around my areolas. (And seriously, why does my computer not know what that word is…the red squiggly line under it is disconcerting. Is areola the singular and plural form of the word? Or should it be areoli? My computer doesn’t like any of them.)

Anyhow…back to my neurosis.

When I first noticed these little black invaders, I began to pluck them. Every week or two. Then every few days. And now it’s a very regular part of my pre-shower and pre-bed routines. I cannot stand them.

I also have a rather noticeable “treasure trail” which has been aggravating me since my late teens. While it is not the only thing that keeps me from sporting a bikini (good god, there about a hundred reasons I don’t wear one), it is definitely one of them. Those little dark hairs…even when shaved…create a shadow running all the way from my naval to my overly abundant and difficult to maintain pubic hair (the shit grows like kudzu and spills past my bikini line likes it’s trying to own my thighs). Which, yes…I try to keep shaved…most of the time. Okay…some of the time. I do prefer it neat and tidy, don’t get me wrong, but it’s rather a chore, especially now that I’ve gained more than my fair share of weight and must, embarrassingly, admit that it’s not as easy to see what I’m doing down there anymore, without holding my “mom pooch” (or “cesarean shelf”) up and out of the way.

God, that was hard to write. And yes, I’m okay. It’s out there now, and I’m going to just let it be out there.

And now…as if all of THIS wasn’t enough…the ONE fucking black hair that kept popping up on my neck has invited friends to the party…and they’ve started showing up on my chin, too.

And good fucking lord, I’m having to use a personal shaver to hold the peach fuzz at bay on my cheeks and upper lip.

Why, god, why!!!!

And so, me and my tweezers go to town every morning and night trying desperately to keep my body hair in check.

#lifeishard #firstworldproblems

10 Replies to “Brigit’s Diary: The Difficulty of Body Hair”

  1. I feel you.

    I had laser treatments done on my face, which has not *stopped* the hair, but has thinned/lightened it and slowed its growth. Likewise on my arms, because I got tired of looking like a monkey.

    I go after my happy trail with wax strips and generally tweeze whatever I can see. If they gave out medals for this, I’d be a world champion plucker.
    Mrs Fever recently posted…Reminiscences: Musings in Memoir — Prompt #5My Profile

    1. Haha! It’s not something people talk/write about much, so I figured I’d take the leap.

  2. I totally agree! I get so frustrated with body hair. My hair (on my head) was always really nice and average. Now, after a lot of torture to look “better”, it is thinning. I had my daughter die my hair darker this weekend and said goodbye to the blonde (which I kind of miss but I’ll get over it) and went back to my natural color. However, the face and chin hair is just ridiculous! Oh, and on my toes! C’mon! I too have become the master of multitasking in the shower while trimming and shaving my pubic hair. flexibility is definitely lost on the young! All other areas mentioned I usually pluck or I have one of those “hair burning” devices that basically take the hair down to the skin level. but you can still see them. Plucking my face is like a part-time job. I feel your pain and frustration. Thanks for this – gave me a giggle and helped me feel not so alone in the body hair fight!!

    1. Hahaha! I forgot about my Hobbit feet! I shave my toes, too! This is seriously my sexiest (and maybe most painfully honest) post ever!

  3. It’s like you’re in my head haha. I’m compulsive about tweezing and shaving those pesky hairs. And they’re everywhere. You think you’ve got all of them, only to realize there’s 10 more nasty critters growing elsewhere.

    The most embarrassing was when I shaved the night before I went to see lover. We were in bed and he felt the back of my thighs and said, “Babe, you’ve missed a spot.” Sure enough, I had missed a patch of hair. Damn those annoying hairs. Thank goodness, he likes when the field has a bit of grass growing or else, I might lose my mind with the maintenance of it.

  4. I once had a girlfriend who just wore her bikini. We had petted prior to this but I hadn’t yet seen her nude (we were young). I was so turned on to see her pubic hair coming out from the bottom of her bikini… lol.

    1. I should probably have noted in my post…body can be a turn on (for example…I prefer a hairy chest on a guy…and once I actually found myself aroused by a woman’s underarm hair during a college class.) I think our culture has sort of made hair the devil, and we kill ourselves trying to maintain ourselves to fit that ideal. My husband prefers me shaved…so I do that part for him. But really, it is a societal thing.

  5. This made me smile and nod. Smile because of the humor in your words, and nod because yes… those damn hairs. I always forget about them on my areolas and then sometimes under the shower I feel them, and as soon as I am back in the bedroom, out comes the tweezers. And don’t even start about those on my chin…
    ~ Marie xox

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