Fairweather submissive
I’m sorry to confess it, but honestly, I’m a fairweather submissive.
I’m up for it when it’s easy, when I have the energy for it, the time for it…when it doesn’t ask too much of me.
I have been such for a long time, and I’ve tried (sort of) time and again to be better. Often enough that some might say I should just give up, that it isn’t for me, that I’m not really a submissive.
And yet, I am. Or at least I’m some semblance of one…on my way to becoming one.
No matter how poorly I demonstrate it or live up to my own expectations (or His).
That’s the thing about identity. We are what we say we are, what we feel we are, even if no one else sees it yet.
We are even more what we demonstrate.
Because I can feel like a submissive…identify as one…and yet, if I do not show it through actions, I am not His submissive…to be such, I must live up to our shared expectations.
Right now, I live up to the ones that are most convenient for me…the easiest. I fight or dismiss the ones that I find abhorrent or difficult.
I’m not proud of it. I want to be better. And I guess that’s a beginning. But, looking at my rules and at my vision, I know that there is much work to be done before I can truly say that I am His submissive.
I am a work in progress, I suppose. I am not the best version of myself…yet. But, I’m working on it.
9 Comments
Naomi
Under construction. Thats me. Be who you want to be! You’re amazing anyway…
Xxx
Naomi
S Mace
I guess we all need the energy. Sometimes, though, submissive time can take me away from it all and give me back some energy.
Brigit Delaney
That’s the idea. For me, it’s like exercise. Sometimes I dont want to do it, but afterwards I always feel better.
Brigit Delaney
Thank you, Naomi! I think we all need to remind ourselves of that sometimes.
PurpleSole
We are always looking to improve and it’s better to want to improve than think it’s all going fine. I think it’s important to know it isn’t all smooth sailing all the time, but you’ll get there. I do think it’s easier in summer months though.
Brigit Delaney
Yes it is! For me, I’m off work, so I have a lot more time to focus on it!
Marie Rebelle
I think we are all always works in progress, and as long as we try to improve, that’s good. I look forward to reading more as you explore.
Rebel xox
missy
I think we are all works in progress and I think also that there should be less comparison. Labels seem to give us something to measure up to but often it is to a false ideal and when you look into it, others aren’t always doing what you think anyway. I think that submission can be a part of you but there will always be other parts to so it’s about owning your own brand of it and finding one which balances with the Dominance that feeds you. Not sure if that makes sense but I think I know what I mean lol ❤️
Brigit Delaney
I completely agree. And yes…it makes sense!