I and you are separate people, be we is an entity all to itself. Which is why a fill-in-the-blank statement involving I and we would be different than one involving I and you.

I am _________ becuase we are _________

is not that same as

I am _________ because you are _________

For example, I am happy because we are happy. I am an integral part of the we, so it makes sense for the state of we to impact directly the state of I. I am happy because you are happy is codependence…not interdepence. I am not happy because you are happy. I am happy in my own right. I might be happy that you are happy, but your state does not directly create mine. I create my own.

However, in an interdependent relationship where two beings are necessarily entwined as one in certain regards, there is an individual’s state and then the state of the union.

Therefore, when we are “happy” as a unit, I am more like to be happy myself.

I am happy as a direct result of our happiness.

I am happy because we are happy.

I am stable because we are stable.

I am satisfied because we are satisfied.

I live in a state of singularity and a state of union (simultaneously), and because of this I am dual and blessed. It is more complex, to be sure, but more fulfilling. It means a constant assessing of we, and a constant flow of energy in that direction.

I’m not saying I’m good at that. I’m not really. In fact, I find occasionally that —

I am off because we are off.

I am disconnected because we are disconnected.

I am unmotivated because we are unmotivated.

We are central, even though I am my own person with my own needs and feelings and ways of interpreting we, and likewise does he.

We also have shared and differing demands of we. Different dreams and fantasies and wishes. And yet we compromise on what we is and what we means because there are two I’s at play here. Each I, however, carries the other I insIde of it. The we is constant.

ee cummings has long been one of my favorite poets. I love how he plays with language and his alternative views on humanity and connection. This is one of my favorite love poems, and I I always think of my Husband when I read it.

Listen to my read the poem HERE.

Marie’s prompt this week just got under my bones. I love the image and I love the possibility of that incomplete (or ever so complete) phrase. It sent me on this strange little loop of a post, but I hope my message is clear.

I am

because we are

am…

because we are…

Quite existential, really.

 

7 Replies to “Existential”

  1. I absolutely love this, and found myself nodding my head almost from the beginning. Yes, I totally understand your message here, as so much of this rings true for me too.

    Rebel xox

  2. [Just thinking out loud…]

    I think that I am so pragmatically wired that it never occurs to me to insert nebulous terms (like “happy”) into conjoined independent (I am) and dependent (because we are) clauses.

    The story shared as part of the prompt makes sense to me in a “one for all and all for one” way, but the “I am because we are” doesn’t logically follow. In my practical brain, I go:

    I am working extra long days/hours because we are going on vacation soon and need the extra money.

    Or, y’know…

    I am exhausted because we are overhauling the yard.

    That sort of thing.

    Though it seems as though – practical as they might be – a lot of those sentiments can be interpreted negatively (though that’s not my intention).

    Like:

    I am broke because we are putting so much money into medical bills.

    Though, on a positive note:

    I am delighted because we are eating at my favorite restaurant.

    {No, we’re not actually at my favorite restaurant at this precise moment in time. (I would not be so rude as to be on my phone if we were.) But it’d be a good idea to go again soon!} 😉
    Mrs Fever recently posted…Simple Spicy Stir FryMy Profile

  3. It is existential and got me thinking. I can get into that “oh he is fed up so i don’t feel great” but i have got better lately at trying to be more a tune to what I am actually feeling rather than a “feed” from his emotions – but sometimes then I go to far and forget the union the team – “WE” – that we are trying to be! It is not easy is it!
    May More recently posted…Chili Con Carne ~ Food MattersMy Profile

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