Erotic Journal Challenge

The Erotic Journal Challenge: January 2020 – “Mindful”

Click here for an in-depth definition of Mindfulness.

My word for 2020 is MINDFUL, which is one major reason why I’m starting The Erotic Journal Challenge with it. Another is simply because the beginning of the year is a good time to BE mindful…to be fully present and grounded as we plan and prioritize for the coming year.

This year, as I provide monthly themes, keep in mind that you can go in any direction with it that you want! You are not obligated to use the questions or topics that I suggest. But, if you need/want direction, I’ll posit multiple questions and ways of looking at the theme. If just the theme is enough for you, stick with that. 

If you need more, consider these broad questions: Is there something about mindfulness that intrigues you, confuses you, or scares you? Do you want to incorporate mindfulness into your life in some way? Is there a way that you already do? How are you mindfully planning this year? What priorities are you devoting yourself to?

Need more inspiration? Keep reading…

What does MINDFULNESS mean to you?

There is so much information coming at us and so many demands on our times, it’s important to be able to decipher between that which matters and that which doesn’t.

What matters most to you? What are your priorities or intentions for the new year? (Consider, especially, how they pertain to your sexuality and intimate relationships.)

The process I use to set myself up for the year is to revisit my Core Desired Feelings (this year I’ve chosen “mindful, sexual, inspired, and restored”). The idea is that, as I organize my months, weeks, and days, these feelings should be central in the planning. It’s very different from coming up with resolutions. The things I do should help me maintain MINDFULNESS about the way I want to feel. And if those things don’t help me feel the way I want to feel, I need to question their necessity in my life. Not everything I have to do can make me feel great or happy, but I, ultimately, have a choice in how I spend the hours of my day. Even down to the job I do. That means, I’m responsible for how I feel. If I feel stressed and shitty all the time, it’s pretty much my own fault, really. So…it comes down to those feelings. For more information on coming up with your own CDFs, click HERE.

What are your Core Desired Feelings?

From there, I revisit my Vision Statement so I stay MINDFUL of where I want to be in life…my priorities and goals. This is a written description of how I want my life to be. It is written as if I have already achieved everything I would like to.  Click HERE for more information on how to write your own vision statement.

What is your Vision Statement? (Consider, especially, your vision for your intimate relationships and sexuality.)

I then keep a family calendar on the fridge, a calendar on my phone (Google Calendar) where I “time block” (to make sure I have time to do what I want, what I must do, and leave ample “white space” – unplanned time – to simply relax), and a daily/weekly collection of checklists by category (home, work, blog, D/s, etc.) using Google Keep.

And…because I’m rather obsessive about planning…I also have a paper planner for blogging…to plan out my posts, deadlines, prompts, and obligations to others.

It might sound crazy, but this is what I have to do to manage the 72 tabs that would otherwise be open in my brain all. the. damn. time.

All of this planning is one way that I stay MINDFUL. However, to stay truly present in the moment, I’ve had to learn to breathe, slow down, and take stock. Yoga has helped me with this.

How do you stay MINDFUL in your relationships? What happens in your mind during sex?

But this year, starting with this month, I’m focusing in on MINDFULNESS specifically as it pertains to marriage, sensuality, and sex.

I’ve started by downloading a tracking calendar for sex and intimacy, since this is the single most important thing I feel I need to be more MINDFUL of this year. I’m using one called Sex Life.

I’m also starting a bi-weekly writing project called Mindfulness Monday, where I will explore issues that pertain to MINDFUL marriage, MINDFULNESS and intimacy, and MINDFUL sex.

Other possible questions to consider in response to this prompt:

How do you stay MINDFUL of your body’s needs?
How do you stay MINDFUL of your partner’s needs?
What are your MINDFULNESS tips?
What is your experience with Tantric Intimacy and/or Tantric Sex?
Have you used meditation in connection to sex, intimacy, or sensuality?

Take it in ANY direction that feels comfortable to you. I simply provide all the questions as a way to get you thinking if you need the boost. There is NO OBLIGATION to use ANY of them! Use one, none, or all! Write more than one post! It is totally up to you!

If you have any other ideas related to the theme, please share them in the comments so others might be inspired.

Remember, you can link-up as many times as you want during the month! Feel free to double up on memes, too.

And remember to link-back to this post and use the badge! Read others’ posts, comment, share what you love on Twitter! This is all about introspection, sharing what we learn, and supporting one another as writers and people.


Link-up will be open from January 1st to January 31st. 

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter


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