Journal (Nesting…and Hitting the Reset Button)

I’ve been a bit busy lately, and I don’t see it letting up this week. Work has been crazy (and promises to continue in that regard this week).

And our house finally fucking sold! Which means we’ve finally got money to start buying furniture for our new home. Simply looking for furniture has taken up a great deal of my time. We’ve got a list a mile long of items we need, and I’ve been searching Craigslist and similar sites for just the right things. Certain things, I’ll buy new (anything with fabric), but I’m finding I like older styles better, which means hunting used furniture shops and coming across unique items online.

I also belong to a book club, and I’m trying to finish this month’s book in time for our meet-up.

And then, there is travelling for sports for my son, nearly every Saturday.

All of this means my libido has been pretty dry lately, though I don’t think it is just because my mind has been on other things or because I’ve been tired or because I’ve been stressed.

I just think sometimes it shrinks up and sometimes it balloons. This time of year, it tends go into hibernation. As I’ve written before, my libido has a pretty dependable cycle:

Fall – down
Winter – up
Spring – up
Summer – down

My writing/creative cycle follows the same path, as does my mental health. It’s all one fabulous package deal, and I’m not sure what causes what. They’re all so intertwined. I can’t even say that the trigger is work, because I notice that in the summer, when I’m off work, a time when you’d think I’d be up in every way, I still notice a lag in my libido and creative drive. It may simply be the natural course of things, though, since there are times when we must fill ourselves up and times when we pour ourselves out to the world around us. Fall is a time when I am pouring myself out at work, and this year, I surprised myself by pouring myself out here, as well…in spurts. So that was new. I wasn’t especially hot to trot (sexually) during this time, though. Mainly because I had my mind on so many other things…not just work this year, but the sale of our house, which was a fucking pain in the ass (it stressed us both out). Winter is a reflective period, and as I’m less stressed at work, I usually have more time and energy to devote elsewhere. Spring just infuses me with hopeful energy, and by summer, I’m ready for a break…time to fill up again…and rest.

Anyhow, here I am smack dab in the middle of Fall, and as expected, my libido and creative drive are down. I’m doing okay mentally, though. So there’s that. And I’m trying very hard to post at least a few times a week for various memes that strike my interest enough to pull something out of the deep, low well that contains my creative juices (which are trickling like a little brook rather than flowing like a raging river right now).

This of course leads me to sex (doesn’t it always?). Because we aren’t having a lot of it right now, and I’m not craving it much. While that isn’t terribly problematic for me, personally, it IS problematic for my Husband, which means it is problematic for our relationship. During my down times, even though sex isn’t at the top of my list (sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, reading a book is more my speed), I have to make a concerted effort to get myself back on track.

A reset is in order at these times. A big part of that reset is just a shift in mental energy, begin mindful about our marriage and His needs. Because a marriage takes two, and even if one doesn’t need something, if the other does, then something must be done to fulfill that person’s needs.

I’m working on some ideas for this, and I’m not quite sure which direction I’m going to go. Rest assured, however, Brigit it is on the case. It’s very easy to take someone for granted when they are around all the time. And it’s very easy to get bogged down by life and let things that don’t matter that much matter way more than they have any right to.

This week is the end of my super busy period. And we have a few home game weekends coming up, which will give us some time to get our house in order and relax a bit. Of course, then come the holidays, right? So there is always something.

Keeping a marriage/relationship fit and alive during all of the “adulting” can be hard, but it’s worth it.

Of course, my Husband reads my blog, so I can’t preview or discuss things I’m planning here. Instead, I have to review and reflect after the fact. But, you’ll still get the benefit of knowing what I’m up to.

This November’s Erotic Journal Challenge them is “Gratitude,” which is a perfect time to really think about and share what makes our relationships so special. It’s also a great time to focus in on the people we care about most.

And that is my plan.


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