Journal 9/13/2019 a.m.

I don’t write about our life enough. I mean…if stories really do matter, as I propose, then I should probably be letting you into mine more often. What kind of blogging role model am I being if I don’t.

I think the worry is that I must polish everything that I write and offer my readers perfected fiction, personal essays, and reviews.

In reality, many readers are looking for something more “real” than that. And I think I lose touch with the fact that I have readers who want to know me and what is going on in my life so that they can feel connected and validated in their own. So, I’m going to try writing more often in a “journal” style.

It doesn’t mean I’ll give up my fiction or polished personal essays (especially those done in response to prompts that really push me to think about some important topics). It just means I’ll give myself permission to brain dump in the morning before my conscious self has a chance to tell me “no…don’t say that.”

If you are a regular follower, I’m so glad you continue to come back, even though my writing can be inconsistent. I truly do appreciate you. If you are new, I need to do a better job of letting you know who the fuck I am and why the fuck I blog about sex.

I can do that…by blogging more about my day-to-day sex life. And the benefit of doing that is that I stay more aware of my sex life.

For example…i just remembered it is Friday and that, per our D/s rules, I am not allowed to wear panties (unless they are crotchless). I have forgotten to do this the last 3 Fridays, because my brain just hasn’t been “in the game” when it comes to our D/s. But Mr. D has brought back the daily “boot removal” and has been requesting that I refill His drinks at night (I just wish He didn’t drink them so fast…as I get comfy and He wants another).

I understand the idea behind His directive that I go without panties all day (to keep my mind focused on Him). But, I really find it uncomfortable most of the time. I know some people never wear them, but I am more comfortable when I wear them. So….I am currently creating a shopping cart at Yandy.com to purchase some for Fridays. I also find crotchless panties sexier than going without, anyway.. Something about a little lingerie that turns the heat up. (If you know of a great place to find pretty (inexpensive) lingerie for curvy girls (I’m a 14-16), please do share in the comments.

And honesty, it works. Not wearing panties DOES bring my mind back to Him several times during the day, even though I’m at work and busy doing a hundred other things.

I’ve been rather exhausted all week. We stayed up super late on Wednesday, and my body hasn’t bounced back. I’ve had the intention (road to Hell, I know) of instigating sex all week, but I just haven’t had the energy. My mind has been there, though, and that is more than I can say about the previous few weeks, as we moved into this new house and I went back to work. Now, I feel I falling into a manageable routine and there is room in my brain and energy left to come back to our D/s. I need it, and I KNOW He needs it. I’m starting to feel horny again. It is Friday the 13th and a Full Moon. I’m sure that has a bit to do with it. But the waxing moon has always been “my time.”

We have close neighbors now, so I’ll have to keep my yelling to a minimum. I could do with a few spankings to set my brain straight.

Anyhow, my plan, since I get up so early every morning, is to do a quick journal check in here. No fancy titles, no set topic, probably no organization to my thoughts. Just a check in. I’m also hoping this will push me to write more, as I’ve sort of lost the trail of my blog over the past several weeks. I might add this “journal” feature at other times, as well, rather than forcing myself into a “topic,” which is sometimes what shuts me down, since I feel I have nothing of substance to write about, nothing to guide me or make the piece feel whole.

This is just me. In the raw. Disorganized and open.

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  • Sweetgirl

    I know I had a rule about no panties on Fridays but then I had a few “accidents” where I didn’t go to the loo when I should have and ended up leaking a little. I wear tena light panty liners normally but when you don’t have panties on you can’t… so I ended up asking for the rule to be cancelled, as much as I liked it because it did remind me of MrH, I really didn’t like the fear of having an wet bum at work.

          • Sweetgirl

            Unfortunately after about 10 years (where I am now) you get urge incontinence, where you can’t stop yourself from peeing if you leave it too long. They put a bend in the urethra and so later in life if the pee gets passed the bend then it comes out…. I would still recommend the operation in all honesty, it was worth it and with a couple of little adjustments like going to the loo before it gets really urgent, and making sure you sit a few seconds longer to let the last dribble go, my life is much easier than it was before… x

  • kisungura

    This really made me think Brigit as I’m also not very good at ‘just’ writing stuff that’s happening like a journal and it’s something I’d like to incorporate more. I think I’ve always worried that it (I) wouldn’t be interesting enough but I have always enjoyed such writing from others and feel privileged to be able to
    share slices of life. So thank you on both counts x

    • Brigit Delaney

      I have the same worries…that my life won’t be that interesting. But, I thought about it and considered that I may have readers who have never been involved in D/s or who are trying to make a sex life work with kids and family and work. And I realized that maybe my boring story wouldn’t be boring to others. I also enjoy reading other people’s “diary” blogs. It’s like a favorite soap opera or TV show – I like keeping up with their lives, and the constant flow of info makes me feel like I somehow know them.

      I’ll see how it goes. I’m not very good at commitments or consistency. But, I’m going to try.

      • kisungura

        Well I think you have inspired me in this, it’s something I’ve always felt I lacked a bit and it’s a different way of writing. I don’t think you’d be boring at all, and I do love that day to day stuff, I need to practice it I think. And try is all we can ever do. I really look forward to reading more xx

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