There have been many times when you have asked me to submit further..not just kneel at your feet or present on the bed. I mean really submit. Give you everything. From inside.
And I’ve tried, many times, letting go just a little more every time I make it a priority.
But, last night, I want you to know that I made a bit of a breakthrough, emotionally…mentally. When you told me to keep my hands behind my head and pressed your tongue against my clit, sliding your two fingers into me, I spread my legs wide to you…and gave up. I don’t know if you felt it, how deep the letting go went. But in my mind, unspoken words formed and slid away like smoke in air.
Please take this body in any way you please. Pull me, push me, bend me, fuck me, spank me. Use your fingers, your mouth, any implement you choose. I trust you completely with all of it.
It felt like a prayer, and I spread my legs further, pressing my pelvis upward to meet your fingers, drunk on oxytocin and endorphins. My whole body relaxed into the drug of your tongue.
And when I came, my juices coating your chin, trickling slowly across my taint and asshole to soak the sheets and mattress, you could have done with me anything you pleased. I would have crawled across the floor for you, offering up my breasts, my nipples hungry for your touch rather than too sensitive, as they usually are. I wanted you to suck them, pinch them, tease them.
These breasts and nipples are yours. I will not pull away again in giggling discomfort. I will present them to you when you seek them.
I would have offered you any hole you pleased, would have sucked you, welcomed your come on me…in me.
You rolled me over, spanked me with your hand until my cheeks were warm, and I felt myself getting wetter with each impact.
“You like spankings now, don’t you?”
“Does it feel good?”
“I thought so. You’re such a good girl.”
You fucked me, then, the weight of you full upon me, and then pulled me onto you. I don’t normally orgasm on top, which I reminded you then, but you said that I would. Not because you believed in me, but because you required it of me.
“I want you to come.”
“No…you will…for me. Who am I?”
I stammered…”My husband?”
You paused…breathed out in annoyance at my unacceptable answer.
“Good girl…do you want to come for me?”
“Yes, Daddy, what?”
“Yes, Daddy…I want to come for you.”
“Yes, Daddy…I will come for you.”
I will call you Daddy. I will be your good girl.
The reaction was predictable. My pussy clenched and my breath caught. And when you wrapped one hand around my throat, squeezing, and combed the fingers of your other through my hair, pulling, I was undone.
“You like it when I call you good girl, don’t you?”
“And when I do this…”
My responses were whispers, my body completely at your disposal…I rode you, ground my pelvis against you, until I found the right angle, desperate to find a way to come, even though my physiology said no. Against every expectation, I tilted my pelvis forward and felt the tell-tale electricity as your cock rubbed against my g-spot perfectly. It took only a few strokes because I wanted to please you so badly.
I hope you felt my come drip onto your balls. I hope you felt how hard I worked to give you what you wanted.
My knees ached. As I get older, I can only hold a knee-based position for short amounts of time, and so you told me to lay on my back.
I thought you’d fuck me until you came, but you explained that you would likely fuck me for hours before it would happen. I was disappointed, because I love to feel you come inside of me. But, I get it…some nights, it isn’t in the cards.
“You like to feel me come inside of you, don’t you?”
“In my pussy.”
“In my ass?”
“In my mouth.”
I will always be available when you want to come. And I will come when you tell me to.
Then you told me you wanted me to come again, on my own. When normally I would have quibbled, not wanting to masturbate for an audience, I reached into the toy drawer and found the vibrator that works best.
I reached the toy between my legs with one hand and spread my lips with the fingers of the other, touching the head of the vibrator to my now sticky clit. I let go of my lips, the vibrator firmly nestled between them, tucked between my clit and the opening of my cunt. That way, the vibrations reached all of my hot spots at the same time, rumbling quietly. I fucked myself, slowly, quickly, and came again…for you. Knowing you were watching. Knowing you wanted this. Knowing I’ve held out on this front. But last night, nothing in me held out. Nothing. I wanted to give you all of it.
I am yours. All of me.
Afterward, you thanked me for it…and I fell asleep, wrapped in your arms, as usual, with a promise from you that you’d fuck my ass in the morning, and come. Which you did. And, with every thrust, I opened to you…that…much…more…
I’m still a little obsessed with Marie’s last prompt “Another Song.” There were so many songs I could have chosen and so many stories or personal experiences I could have chosen to write. And while I didn’t have the song “All of Me” by John Legend in mind when I wrote this post today, I kind of wrote myself toward those words and then the song just popped into my brain. It’s pretty fitting, too, so I thought I’d at least add it.
This post is a direct letter to my Husband and is my response to Erotic Journal Challenge #26: Vows. We are coming up (next week!) on our 13th wedding anniversary. It’s been a roller coaster of a ride, with ups and downs and hurts and happiness. And I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.