30 Days of D/s

Readers’ Forum: Do You Use Orgasm Control?

This post is #21 in my 30 Days of D/s series. If you’d like to read more, please visit my 30 Days of D/s page for the complete inventory of posts.

Quite honestly, I don’t have a lot to say about this topic. This isn’t anything Mr. D and I have ever tried or even talked about trying.

I’ve read stories and other people’s accounts that make it sound terribly erotic, but for myself, it’s not something I’ve ever counted as a thing I really wanted to try.

But, since the topic came up for 30 Days of D/s, I figured I’d at least attempt a post.

After all, there is quite a bit of evidence that shows edging can be beneficial and help to produce more intense and longer lasting orgasms. It can also help men who have trouble with premature ejaculation, which is, from my understanding and research, what it was initially “prescribed” for. Now, it’s become sort of a trend in BDSM, D/s, and the vanilla world. I don’t really know much about it myself, but I did find a helpful article about it on Healthline.

So, if you’re new to it or know little about it, check that link.

However, I thought I’d handle this topic a little differently…by putting it in your hands. I’ve got some questions for you:

Do you incorporate orgasm control into your sex life?

When and how did you decide to experiment with it?

Does it intensify your orgasms or make sex better for you?

If it’s a turn on for you…why? What does it do for you?

How did you train yourself to resist letting your body go in the height of sexual passion?

Who in the relationship suggested it?

How has it improved your sex life? Or has it?

If you have a funny story related to your early experiments with it…do share…

What advice do you have for people who have never attempted orgasm control?

Post in the comments below. Or link to your own post answering one or all of these questions. Maybe you’ll change my mind about it and pique my interest a little bit more…

Here’s a recent post about from minnie: “Again…”
And one from kitten of Pandora’s Box: “Acceptance

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  • collaredmichael

    We do indeed use orgasm control. I find the feeling of being horny delicious. There are times I almost lose my mind is desire! In a good way… that benefits my Queen… and Damn I want to cum!! But only if she allows it

  • J. Lynn

    We have used orgasm control from the very beginning. It was something we both could easily accommodate given our distance from each other, but also make it challenging in the fact it requires a lot of trust. What I mean is that I trust pet to not masturbate during those times we are not in contact. He loves edging so he sends me proof when he does edge and then elaborates when we talk.
    Funny enough he wrote about his 30 day denial last night! I’ll include the link, it does answer a question or two that you listed.
    It’s not a kink for everyone and that is okay, it works for us and that’s what matters.
    Thanks for putting this out there for discussion Brigit ?


    • Brigit Delaney

      Thanks for the link. I like learning through other people’s experiences…it is less clinical and more realistic and I’m more likely to find things I can relate to.

  • Mrs Fever

    Yes, I use orgasm control in my relationships. I find the tease/denial/edging aspects to be helpful in focusing his desire (on me), and I experience a type of… fulfilment(?)… Not the right word, really. But I have a sense of satisfaction, I guess, over the way he acquiesces to my instructions. It’s less a power thing (though it’s indicative of power exchange, I suppose) and more an “awww” warm-fuzzy glowy thing.

    Orgasm control works for me in an F/m context, where it’s *his* orgasm and *my* control.

    I have zero interest in it otherwise.

    I recently wrote about what this “looks” like, if you’re interested:

    Mrs Fever recently posted…ZeptosecondMy Profile

    • Brigit Delaney

      Thanks for the link! The more I can learn through others’ experience the better. And what better way to share it with the world, too than to keep the link sharing going!

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