Experience,  My EJC Responses

My Biggest Turn-on

So what turns you on? That’s this week’s Erotic Journal Challenge question.

Some of us are easy to turn on and have many ways of heating up. Others are highly specific and only a few things really do the trick.

I’ve always had a hard time really pinpointing what it is that turns me on, but I do know a few particulars that seem to almost always seem to work.


It’s hard to really explain what I find attractive, because there is such a range of things and types of people, but I tend to be turned on most by men who are taller and bigger than me (not a terribly difficult order) and women who are curvy and soft around the edges: good sized-breasts, round behinds. Smiles, good teeth, soft lips. Men can be clean-shaven or scruffy…it doesn’t really matter…as long as he’s pretty much traditionally “manly.” It isn’t a cut to those who aren’t…it’s just what I tend to be turned on by most.

I enjoy some porn and erotic film. Usually, I am turned on by women masturbating and scenes of Dominance and submission. I don’t like watching things that look too staged…the more natural and real-life it appears, the better, like I’m looking through a keyhole just catching a sexy eyeful. Sex in film and TV can also do it for me. I like to see men go down on women and am mostly drawn to traditional gender roles, though the occasional F/F or M/M scene has tickled my fancy here and there. I don’t tend to go for scenes with too much pain or humiliation.


Music can definitely aid in revving my engine. Especially if it encourages dirty dancing. A little bump and grind can be the start to something much naughtier later. Slow music that allows for closeness and romance can also do the trick.

The right words…dirty talk, directives, a well-placed and well-earned “good girl” can melt me into a puddle on the floor.


The way a person smells can have a huge impact on me. Certain colognes or perfumes can draw or repel me, and a person’s natural pheremones can do the same. Several times, I’ve been drawn to someone online, but in person, the chemistry (literally) was simply off.


A fabulous meal, especially one created just for me, and wine or other alcohol is often the precursor to the sexy feels.


I love being touched: tickled, rubbed, massaged, grabbed, held… IF I’ve consented to have you in my bubble.

I’m not a pain slut, but a spanking here or there.

Kissing my neck, whispering in my ear, soft and slow kisses…hard and rough kisses…tounges…nips…licks…


Ummm….yeah. I’m pretty sure you knew that already. And I’m a sucker for the hero types: military, law enforcement, fire fighters, etc. The guys with trucks who can fix things and protect me. Men who love kids and dogs…and cats. Big guys who can fold me in their arms.

But, I’m not really drawn to this quality of dominance in women. Nor am I attracted to women who appear weaker than me. I prefer women to be my equals…a friend…a confidant…a partner in crime. Someone who can support me and with whom I can have fun doing pretty much anything.


Yep…I’m a sucker for a man who will take me out on a classic date, or cook me dinner, or bring me daisies He picked from the side of the road…just because He knows they’re my favorite flower. I love a grand gesture or a simple hand-written love note, thoughtful and inexpensive gifts…being wined and dined and treated like a princess.


Educated people who read and can talk about all sorts of things are a definite turn on for me. I love to learn things from others, and people who have educated themselves well in some way are more interesting to me than those who have not. Someone who is well-spoken and has a good vocabulary can draw me in with words.


I could never be with someone long if they didnt make me laugh. Wit, sarcasm, dry humor…it doesn’t matter.


Need I say more? A confident man is about as hot as a Florida day in June…and it makes me just as wet.


A well-written story about pretty much any sexy thing can warm me right up.

Being Pursued:

I have to give Kayla Lords credit for reminding me of this one with her recent post “I Need to Be Pursued.” As soon as I read it, I knew I needed to come back and revise this post to include it. I am not a pursuer. I don’t usually go after what I want. I hint…I might flirt (awkwardly) a bit…let the other person know that I’d be open to something happening. And then I hope they get the hint and pursue it. It actually causes problems for my Husband, because He’d actually really love to be seduced way more often than my regularly scheduled program of once or twice per year.

I like to be the prey. I like to be flirted with, texted, called, taken out, cornered, kissed, bitten, held down, reduced to the blushing, giggling school girl with eyelashes fluttering.

Duh. I’m submissive.

But, seriously, being hunted (consensually) by the right person can be a huge turn on. Someone else putting in all that effort just to get my attention and to bend me and shape me to their will is seriously hot. Plus, it gives me the opportunity to engage with their other skills (that are turn-ons for me): intellingence, humor, romance, confidence…


That tone.
That look.
His hands…on my thigh…on the small of my back…around my neck…holding me down.
When he hugs me from behind and breathes on my neck.
Almost giving me what I want, but not quite…like licking the insides of my thighs, in the crease outside my labia, breathing hotly over my cunt…but not touching my clit until I’m squirming.
Rubbing my feet or massaging my back.
Bringing me coffee at work.
Texting me to say, “I love you.”
Caring about my wants and needs and trying to fulfill them.
Kissing me deeply – out of the blue, when I’m doing something mundane, like folding laundry.
Breathing against my neck.
Kissing my ears, and sucking my earlobes.
Helping me around the house.
Being a good dad.
His line of work.
His uniform.
When He gives me a directive…like removing His boots or sucking His cock.
How He tells me I’m beautiful…and sexy…that he loves me and needs me and wants (pretty much every day).
When he dresses up.
His cologne.
His sideburns…or when He shaves His head and grows a goatee.
His tattoos.
When He rides His motorcycle.
His blue eyes.

From the very beginning…he had the humor, the intelligence, the words, the sexy “tattooed bad-boy on a motorcycle” thing that makes my knees weak, the blue eyes, the softness underneath it all and the willingness to be honest and vulnerable with me.

More than anything, that’s what turns me on… good character… a down-to-earth personality… creativity… being there for me through thick and thin… warmth and openness… a willingness and ability to accept me with all my weaknesses and faults and a willingness to share His own.

Just a hug from Him releases all the oxytocin and gives me all the feels.

Seriously…I can hug this man and breath Him in, and my body just reacts: it loosens, it tingles, and it awakens. His arms can bring me out of full spin and ground me.

Because love is my biggest turn-on.

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    • Brigit Delaney

      Well, damn…I don’t want to chase writers away with my brilliance (j/k). I will have to start waitong to post until last. I’m sure you have your own skilled way to explain your turn-ons, and I would love to read about. Thank you, btw.

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