Experience,  My EJC Responses

My Sexual Aspirations

This week’s prompt for The Erotic Journal Challenge is: Imagine you found a magic lantern (or other container), and inside lived a genie who only granted sexual wishes. If that genie gave you 3 wishes, what would you wish for? And why?

Rather than wishes, I’m going to focus on three sexual aspirations (or goals) I have for myself, because after really thinking about it, wishes seem so unrealistic and unlikely to happen. Plus, wishing puts all the control in someone else’s hands, rather than mine. And, since I’m the only one who has any real control, I can only imagine that if I came across a genie, he’d just look at me and say, “Kid, you’re gonna have to make it happen for yourself, wishes are impotent and lazy.”

First, I’d like to have a happy, healthy, stimulating, and growing D/s relationship. I’ve been writing quite a bit lately about my feelings regarding certain elements of D/s, as part of the 30 Days of D/s challenge. I’m learning a lot about myself and what I really want out of a D/s relationship, and it’s beginning to lead to some conversations with my husband. I think we’re in a healthy place together, and this is the prime time to begin re-exploring our sexual desires and re-establishing our roles and hopes. It feels exciting and positive and open, right now, so I’m hopeful and ready and willing.

Second, I’d like to be more adventurous sexually. I can be a huge chicken about trying new things, and my fear cuts us off at the knees when it comes to experimentation. My Husband is very open to trying things, to the point of pulling me along sometimes when I’m not ready. But, our communication has improved, and I’m ready to be more verbal about what is working and what isn’t…and why. I’m okay with moving slowly…in fact, I need that in order to be sure I’m doing things because I want to and not just because he says so. But, I also trust that He has my (and our) best interests in mind when making decisions about when and how to challenge me.

Third, I’d like to become more open about my desires and willing to be vulnerable. This blog has always been an exercise in confession and vulnerability, but I’d like to make better and deeper use of it in regard to my own personal fantasies and desires. Since the way I investigate my own thoughts tends most to happen through my writing, this seems like the most likely and useful outlet, since it may also help others and is also available to my Husband.

I certainly could wish for all sorts of things, but instead, I’m making these my sexual goals, since then, they are at least something I am actively working toward rather than just daydreaming about.

I think my genie would be proud.

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