Yesterday, I wrote a post. In this post, I offered (formally and officially) my submission to my Husband. Those of you who follow on a regular basis, or even those who have done a bit of investigation on this site, know that we’ve attempted this twice before. And you also know that I recently explained that I am “not a submissive” but rather AM submissive. There’s a big difference between the two. Being submissive is a character trait, not a role. It does not take up my day-to-day and, while it does come with a few expectations, it does not come with tasks or contracts or punishments, aside from a bit of disappointment here and there and a “good girl” thrown in from time to time.
Becoming “A submissive” is a commitment. The role expects more of both of us, and it puts our relationship front and center.
Yesterday, when I wrote the post, I did’t realize it was going to turn into a written request to my Husband. But, that’s where my fingers took me, and I followed them across the keyboard, offering myself up and trying to clearly frame what it is I hoped for. I sat in our office, in the middle of the house, listening to the bustle of Him backing dinner in the kitchen, and after dinner, I went back to writing. After I hit publish, I messed around on Twitter for awhile, until my son had to go to bed, and then I came out to make a night cap.
I asked Him if he needed anything, like I normally would. From the couch, He requested a drink, and so I retreived his glass and made us a both a gin and tonic. I returned to the couch, two drinks and my phone in hand, ready to sit down and read a few posts from my fellow bloggers.
But he looked over at me…with that look and said, “Before you sit down, I want you to do something for me.”
I raised m eyebrows, wondering, “What?” My drink in hand, hovered over the coaster. I hadn’t even set it down yet, and I held it there, waiting for Him to continue, my own body hunched as it hand been when I bent to put the drink down in the first place. I’d frozen…in anticipation? I was wondering if He’d read the post. I was wondering if He was going to tell me to kneel…or something else…
“I want you to go in the bedroom, take your clothes off, lube up your pussy, and present for me.”
“Right now?” My head spun with emotions…a strange brew of anticpation, excitement, girlish giddiness, nervousness, relief…
I set down my things, and went. I did exactly as He’d requested. I stripped, lubed, and presented, my skin tingling, energy buzzing just below the surface of my skin.
I heard His footfalls, the base of His movements toward the door growing closer, His hand on the door knob, and the door opening. He came up behind me
“Did you use lube?”
I felt His fingers on my cunt.
And then I heard Him taking off His clothes, the weight of Him coming onto the bed behind me. There was no foreplay or touching or words, just His cock going into me.
He fucked me until He came, and I reveled in the feel of Him inside of me.
When He was done, He pulled out, and we rolled to our sides, facing each other.
That’s what He said. That is all. I’m sure it must have felt something like someone accepting a marriage proposal. When you are 95% sure they will say yes, but there’s just a tinge of nervousness…the worry that maybe you got that wrong?
So He’d obviously read my post while I was dicking around on socia media.
I wonder what things were going through His mind before I came out and asked Him if He needed anything. I’m curious how He decided to do what He did. And I’m grateful and full of anticipation for the things that come next.
It’s not like I submitted a college application…or a job application, but my offering of submission will change my life (our lives) no less.
Just a note: As I am also adding in some of my own current experience posts to this “30 Days of D/s” it will likely turn into something a bit more than 30 days. Plus…I rarely write on Fridays, so, expect this “challenge” to go past the end of April. Once I am done with the challenge prompts, I will simply tag my posts “D/s” so they are easier to find. I will also create a category for Our D/s Journey for those who are interested in follow that specifically.