I was astonished by the sheer size of his cock as he walked toward her. Even flaccid, it reached his mid-thigh, bouncing between his legs as he moved…back and forth…hypnotizing me.

I couldn’t help but giggle and asked, “Trent…is that for real?”

“Yeah, this dude’s known for it. He’s like the new Ron Jeremy,” he responded, eyes glued to the screen, just as interested in what would happen next as I was.

The woman’s gigantic breasts rode too high on her chest, obviously fake. They were perfectly round, like cantaloupes, and looked about as firm, the nipples dark pink against her spray-tanned skin and very erect.

“They’re a perfect match, I’d say…with those boobs and that dick,” I commentated.

“Yah…” He was mesmerized and clearly not listening to me anymore.

The man on the screen walked up to the woman, turning her away from him at an awkward angle, probably with the cameraman in mind. With one hand on her hip, he wrapped his hand around his cock, moving it back and forth enough to get himself hard, which didn’t take as long as I thought it would, given his size. The woman took a bottle of lube and squeezed about a quarter cup of the stuff into her palm. Bending over and reaching between her legs, she took the man’s cock in her hand and rubbed the lube all over him from tip to balls, her facial expression one of sheer lust…lipsticked mouth open, hair sweeping the floor.

In nothing but red platform heels and a g-string, she bent before him, her ass now up and ready, the only part of her he could focus on from his position, as the camera clearly pictured. The man spread her cheeks, leaned over, and licked her asshole, ran his tongue around it and into it as deeply as he could. As if he were forcing a French kiss on an unwilling participant, her sphincter remained tight.  He then pushed his pointer finger into her as far as he could…then his middle…then his ring…and finally his pinky. All four fingers plied her apart, but the orifice gave way easily, as if it had done this a time or two before.

“Well, it looks like she’ll be able to take him,” I said.

“Of course she can, she’s a porn actress,” Trent replied.

“Well that doesn’t mean she’s capable of taking a dick the size of a horse’s.”

“She’s getting paid for it…she’ll take anything she’s paid to.”

Trent’s response sort of pissed me off, but I kept my mouth shut; I suddenly felt like getting up on my feminist soapbox, but it seemed like a ridiculous time to do it. On the screen, the man was gearing up to put his whole fist up her ass, and her facial expression made it clear that she loved every bit of what he was doing. I wasn’t sure if she did, or if it was all an act. And I wondered if she was happy with the road she’d chosen…if this was really what she’d wanted to do with her life or if she went home and hid from her own reflection every night. But then, I supposed Trent was right, even if he explained it poorly. She was an actress. She’d taken the job, and she was getting paid for her work. Even if she didn’t love it, it had been a choice.

The man pulled his fist out of her, and another man entered the scene. This man pulled the woman’s ass cheeks apart again while the first man verily dumped the rest of the lube inside. Both men began to rub the lube around her entire ass, all over her cheeks, in her asshole, in her cunt. She was still bent over and dripping with lube, and the first man began squeezing the head of his cock into her ass. As he pressed harder, she went down on her knees, the other man maneuvering himself under her, his legs sliding between both hers and the first man’s She lowered herself onto his shaft, and the first man shoved himself into her all the way up to his balls.

She was so thin, and I couldn’t understand how it was anatomically possible for all that dick to fit inside of her without rearranging all of her organs, but her face still gave the impression that she loved everything that was happening to her, so I assumed she was and gave up caring whether she didn’t.

The man beneath her grabbed her tits and squeezed them roughly as she ground herself into his pelvis, moving subtly so that the man behind her could still easily access her asshole.

Both men grunted and groaned saying things like, “You like to be fucked like a whore, don’t you?” while she whined and screamed and told them to fuck her with their big cocks, over and over again. Her words were relentless and repetitive. So, I asked Trent if we could turn off the volume.

“But listening to them is part of the experience,” he huffed, obviously disappointed in my request. But he turned it off, anyway.

In silence, they all just looked like they were in pain. There were even tears at the corners of the woman’s eyes. But everyone kept fucking and fucking until it was time to come. The man with his cock in her ass pulled out first, spurting a pearly white stream down lower back . And then she dismounted the man beneath her, kneeling beside him and shaking her hair to one side so the camera could get a good shot. She took his dick into her mouth and began to suck him off, taking him in all the way down her throat, squeezing her eyes shut, and suppressing her gag reflex. Reclined, his arms behind his head, he left her to her magic, his face squeezing and releasing as the pleasure intensified. And just before he was ready to come, he took her hair in his hand and pulled her away, spurting her face with his jizz. It caught in her eyelashes and streamed down her sparkling cheeks, along with what I was sure were tears. Maybe happy ones, I guessed.

And then the tape cut.

“Fuck that was hot,” Trent said.

“What was hot about it?” I asked.

“Two guys fucking one chick…haven’t you ever wanted that? I mean, she’s the one getting all the benefits here. Every guy would love to have two girls. I got this for you because I figured you’d like it. You’re always complaining about my porn, so this was for you.”

I looked at him…astonished…and wondered how he could have misdiagnosed my desires so totally.

This week’s Wicked Wednesday Prompt is “astonish.”


I’m not a fan of porn, I’ll just be honest. I think it’s cheesy, the music is terrible, the acting is worse, and most of the people don’t even look like they want to do what they’re doing. In fact, I’d find it way more exciting just to turn the volume off and play a little Mystery Science Theater 3000, putting in my own dialogue and commentary to make it more entertaining.

I realize that porn has a basic purpose, and it isn’t to tell a good story; however, I prefer a good erotic thriller or drama over porn any day. But for time-sensitive wanking purposes, well…a bit of the amateur stuff will do – women masturbating, couples fucking, squirting videos – and it only takes a short time to accomplish what it’s meant to. I guess that makes it successful, eh? Just get past the story and get right to the fucking so I can get off, right?

Right.

I’m still not a fan…and I AM astonished by some of the things I’ve seen in porn, especially on the internet (can you say “two girls, one cup” or “donkey show” – of course those types are meant to shock, which is their whole appeal).

In the past, I’ve done a bit of research on porn for women. Here are some links to what I found…and some of the posts I wrote:

Bellesa – Porn for Women

A Guide to Porn for Women

The Smart Girls’ Guide to Porn (my review in several parts)

For me, too often, porn just falls short. The fake-ness and repetitiveness…the giant fake boobs and expected maneuvers. Not to say that I couldn’t find something, because there seems to be porn for every fetish and every interest. The problem is searching through it all.

My very first foray into video porn was in college: my boyfriend brought it home because I was too embarrassed to go in to “that part” of the video store…you know…the part behind the curtain? And what did he bring home? “Revenge of the Pussy Suckers from Mars.” No joke. I gave him a look that basically said, “You’ve got to be kidding me, right?” But, no. He was serious. And we watched it, and I rethought everything I knew about my boyfriend over the course of that hour or so. In fact, I may have rethought everything I thought I knew about the human race.

I know a lot of women DO like porn, and that there IS some porn now being cultivated purely with women in mind. But, I’m still not sold. I, for the most part, stick with literature and written smut.

For me, words are sexier, and my mind does sexy things with them.

11 Replies to “What I hate about porn”

  1. Very informative post – I have an ok relationship with porn as used to watch the cheezy old movies that had a story to them and people would start with their clothes on – I do agree that “Trent’s view” of hot was really rather ropey but I also am not keen on these perfect bodies and camera work type porn – now i read smut and write it on a daily basis, I cant say i have much time to watch it too lol 😉

    1. I tried some of those movies, too. A few were what I’d call true porn, while others were more like erotica, such as The Red Shoe Diaries. None of them really appealed to me then, and they don’t now. But, I remain ever on the quest for really great erotic films that are both beautiful and seriously sexy.

  2. To me it really depends on what porn I watch. I have certain clips I like (a post is coming up on that) but the porn you described above… no thank you. That I definitely don’t like.

    Rebel xox

    1. Porn seems very much a thing of personal taste, and that’s why I think it’s so hard to find the right kind. Maybe if we could order it up like we do our fancy coffee, with all the variations, it might be easier to find what we like. (Is this only an issue for women? Or do men find porn as difficult as women do?)

  3. That main stream tacky porn is generally not for me but I do like a lot of the amateur stuff. Anal is definitely my go to search term though. If I find the right thing it will totally get me off

    Molly

    1. I stick with the amateur porn, as well. At least it comes in small doses and is very specific to what you’re looking for. The amateur sites have it pretty well categorized, which also helps.

  4. Great post Brigit!
    I’m generally not a fan of mainstream porn, I prefer Arty porn -(now there’s a surprise! With a halfway decent (!) storyline. I used to appreciate some Bnw gifs on tumblr before the pornocalypse. And I do like watching Abby Winters masturbation, couples or girl on girl dvds because they talk about what they plan to do, they check with each other throughout and they do a debrief/aftercare segment. And yes Molly there is sometimes anal.
    However given that I’m a fan of written sci-fi/monster porn there is not a lot of matching visual material. And no Barbarella doesn’t count. Lol.

  5. You write: “I suddenly felt like getting up on my feminist soapbox, but it seemed like a ridiculous time to do it” haha! This is totally me browsing Tumblr.

    Also, husband and I have had some hilarious conversations watching porn (me: “wait what, why are they on a boat now? what’s happening?” him: “it doesn’t matter! they’re hot. just watch the porn.” me: “but the story is important!”)

    This was an interesting read and I can relate to the ongoing search for hot videos that appeal.

  6. I often get quite huffy when G is watching porn, it is just so contrived. Like Molly I don’t mind the amateur stuff and the arty stuff isn’t bad either. All in all though I’m happy to give it a miss.

  7. This is a great post. I am with you on not really getting much from porn and from preferring the way my mind runs from writing instead. Something about it is too graphic for me and it takes from where my mind would run. This was really interesting to read. Thank you 🙂

  8. Granted, a lot of porn is utterly absurd–and yes, repetitive, which I’m sure is intentional. As much as I love erotica and dirty stories, there are times when I’m just in the mood to watch some down and dirty fucking. At those times, the lame premises really don’t matter to me. Of course, I have certain types of porn I like for those instances. I also agree that amateur porn is sometimes hotter than the “scripted” stuff. To each their own. 😉
    Ria recently posted…Shelter from the Storm (Kink of the Week & Wicked Wednesday #351)My Profile

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