TMI Tuesday – “Relationships are Work”

Relationships are work

1. Lingerie–do you like to give it as a gift or receive it?

No. Not really. I mean…I would wear it if my husband were to buy it for me, because it would obviously be something he liked and wanted to see me in. I’m not a huge lingerie fan, though. It’s uncomfortable. Yes…it can be sexy, and I’m all for the show effect, but I usually want it off as soon as possible. I don’t like to be pinched and constricted. I’d rather be naked.

2. What’s a good date night movie?

It kind of depends on the “date.” I like action movies with a bit of sexiness thrown in for good measure and a touch of romance…that way it makes everyone happy. I prefer to avoid deep, political dramas or head-scratching indie films on a date, though a thought-provoking film can provide a conversation topic for after. I like to watch romantic comedies on my own, but most guys don’t like them, so I’d avoid them on a date.

3. When your partner asks you “what’s wrong?” do you most often say “nothing” when something clearly is wrong? Why?

Yeah…I’m guilty of that. And it’s usually because I just don’t want to get into it. Either I’m tired of the same old argument or I don’t really know what I want to say about it yet, so what’s the point of making and issue out of it until I do?

4. To keep the fires burning, and the relationship fresh you need to send your significant other just one text. What is that text?

A photograph. A picture is worth a thousand words, and a lot of men are more visual. I know that’s a generalization, but I feel that I can get a lot more across in an image than in words if my goal is sexual and I only have the length of a text to get my message across.

Bonus: What was your last grand romantic gesture?

I did a sexy advent calendar and provided a “52 Dates” kit last year to help us get things moving back in the right direction. It didn’t really go over well. Mr. D felt that I gave gifts and provided ideas that were more “me” centered than “him” centered. I still have the “52 Dates” cards (which I created myself) tied with a ribbon. He never even looked through them, as far as I know. He also kept the sexy advent gifts in his drawer, but none of them were actually used. I was pretty bent out of shape about the whole thing, because I put a ton of time and effort into both projects, neither seemed to be appreciated, and he made me feel like the gifts were self-centered.

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  • Nero

    Sometimes when I read your blog you seem like an alternate version of my wife, from a parallel universe. She once gave me a diary/calendar and in it she had filled out various ideas for sex ie when and how (not specific positions, just suggestions like ‘date night’, ‘make out in the car’, ‘movie night at home’ etc). The problem was when it was time to act on these suggestions she was not in the mood, and the diary quickly became an albatross around my neck. It was a testament to our failure to find a common intimacy.

    • Brigit Delaney

      This has happened to us, too. I’m great at the planning, just not so great at the “feeling in the mood.” It is also what has ruined our D/s experiments.

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